(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, Fellow Practitioners!
I started my cultivation in January 2000. Ever since then I have validated Falun Dafa mainly through writing. I have discovered that the process of writing and interacting with fellow practitioners help me to expose my attachments as well as improve myself.
I took up writing articles for Dafa shortly after I began my cultivation, already more than seven years ago. I often hear people praise what I write; then I remind myself to not become smug. However, after having heard many words of praise, I started to think that my writing was better than others. I developed the mentalities of complacency, showing off, wanting to prove myself, and several other notions.
For example, fellow practitioners sometimes share understandings via email. When I thought some of their understandings were not based on the Fa, I would point out their problems, which led to frequent conflicts. The most memorable example of this was once, during a group Fa study and sharing, I had a conflict with several fellow practitioners at the same time. Once back home I could not let the conflict go. I wrote my thoughts and sent the article to a Falun Dafa website. After the article was published, I sent it to the several practitioners with whom I had had a conflict. I wanted to let them know that my understanding was correct while theirs were not. However, during a later Fa study, I discovered that not all of what I understood was on the Fa. This incident exposed my need to validate myself.
I also assist other practitioners to write their understandings and also encounter some xinxing tests during the process. For example, after helping someone write something, he no longer wanted to publish it. I had wasted much effort for nothing, I thought. Another, impatient practitioner complained that I did not write things quickly enough.
Although I often encounter xinxing tests when helping others to write articles, I still feel happy to do this. Why should I not do so happily? Writing such articles is a part of their cultivation process.
My wife works as a reporter for the Epoch Times. Once she returns from an interview, writing the article is usually my job. I was sometimes unwilling to do this extra work. When I spoke with her, my tone of voice was a bit unfriendly. Later on, when I thought about this issue I asked myself: as all these were for Fa-validation, why was I willing to help other practitioners and unhappy to help my wife? I found that I still had the desire to validate myself. Helping other practitioners would showcase my writing capability, while when helping my wife, if I did not do well, she would still say something unpleasant to me. After I discovered this attachment, my self-validating mentality has gradually become less predominant.
Next, let me tell how I got involved in The Epoch Times and realized my attachment. In the past, in group Fa-study and exchanging opinions among practitioners who were involved in The Epoch Times, I learned of the great need for more practitioners to get involved with or support the newspaper. I decided to start a special column in the newspaper supplement, writing articles that people like to read--catering to the readers' tastes. I had the notion that, after a certain number of such articles was published, I would ask other practitioners to then publish these articles in a book. The proceeds from such a book would be given to The Epoch Times. This way I would be able to enrich the content of the newspaper and also alleviate the financial pressure in the running of the newspaper, thus "killing two birds with one stone." Thinking along these lines was also the force that motivated me to keep writing.
I eventually started a column in the newspaper supplement, but not in the printed version--it appears on the paper's website. I felt disappointed that I didn't have a printed column. I then put my emphasis on publishing the book. In due time, after having accumulated over one hundred such articles, I e-mailed my thoughts about publishing a book of the collected articles to certain practitioners involved with the newspaper. However, I received no response from them. After that, my enthusiasm for writing vanished, and I no longer wanted to write for this column.
Recently I got into The Epoch Times website, where I found many special columns and topics in the supplement section densely listed. There were at least five or six hundred such topics there, mine being just one of them. This discovery got me to thinking: If all the column authors had asked to have their articles printed in the newspaper, more than ten such newspapers would still be unable to contain all the articles generated from these columns, even if all the papers were in supplement form. Similarly, if all the column authors had asked to have a book published, the number of books The Epoch Times would have had to publish would have necessitated the establishment of a special publishing company. Thinking these issues through, I immediately felt regret for my strong ego.
I had not written any article for this column for a whole year. Only after recent encouragement did I start writing again. I wrote with particular fluidity during those few days and finished 15 column articles in less than ten days. Something happened during that time.
I need to explain this episode from the beginning. Ever since I was small I detested the noise and words from people's arguments. Once at work I lost my temper because, while my colleagues were chatting, they made too much noise, which affected my concentration while I was reading documents. I also had a big conflict with a fellow practitioner during an experience sharing session because this practitioner's talk was too long. At other times I even felt disturbed by the noise of a computer fan.
Perhaps Master had seen my problem--I was easily upset--and Master wanted me to achieve the state of "Listening, but caring not to hear--A mind so hard to disturb." ("Abiding in the Dao" in Hong Yin)
Since I started my cultivation, one of my ears often seemed to be stuffed with an invisible ear-plug, and I could not hear anything. Having one ear plugged for a long time had provided me more benefits than drawbacks. Hearing unclearly did not interfere too much with my writing. Then again I still could hear with the other ear, so my daily life was not affected too much.
Recently, however, both ears were stopped up for over ten days in a row. When others spoke, it was like a soundless motion picture to me. When I realized that they were talking to me, I usually asked them to repeat their questions once more and would look at them and read their lips. I then roughly understood what they meant. I became afraid and wondered what I would do if this lasted indefinitely.
One day my supervisor asked me to attend a conference in his place. Although I accepted the assignment, I still pondered if he should assign a different person so that people wouldn't laugh at me on account of my hearing impairment. Continuous Fa study made me realize that I should not acknowledge the old forces' arrangements. I was determined that, no matter what, I would think of nothing and just do well the three things that Dafa practitioners should do.
Two days before the conference I could hear out of both ears again! This was a rare phenomenon after I started my cultivation. Once I could hear again, my feelings of being upset over loud noises disappeared from my mind. I was convinced that this is the way it ought to be; after all, I have cultivated for so long, and my fear of noise should have been removed. This incident made me realize when a tribulation or test comes is the time to test if one truly believes in Master and the Fa. If one has the determination and does things by following the requirements of Dafa, one can usually experience the effect of Master's words, "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!" (Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version)
I could concentrate on my writing during my temporary deafness. That is how I could finish the 15 articles I mentioned above. The practitioners that coordinate The Epoch Times work praised me for being a "sharp pen." This incident made me realize further that as long as we can wholeheartedly validate the Fa, every practitioner can be a "sharp pen" in the projects he or she is involved with.
In conclusion, let me share my understandings on writing Fa experience-sharing articles. I wrote two articles during each of the previous two Fa conferences: one for a fellow practitioner and one for myself. Each time, the practitioners I had helped to write their articles went up on stage and shared their experiences, while my articles were not used. Those who know how to write do not necessarily have a good understanding or righteous thoughts and actions that can move people, while those who cannot write well actually might have a better understanding of the Fa. Those who are good writers have the responsibility to record the righteous actions of fellow practitioners. In this way, each and every Fa conference will be a great one that can help the practitioners improve and strengthen their righteous thoughts.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
December 13, 2007
