Breaking Out of Self-imposed Imprisonment: A Sharing with Disabled Falun Dafa Practitioners
Understanding that "All Living Beings Have Come for the Fa" by Experiencing My Family's Attitude Toward Dafa
Practitioners are all very clear that our family environments are directly connected to the effect of how well and how smoothly we can save all sentient beings. I would like to share some of my experiences and opinions about creating a harmonious family environment.
I am a disabled practitioner and my health improved tremendously after cultivating Dafa. After several months, just at the time when I became full of confidence in cultivation, the persecution of Dafa began. So I entered into Fa-rectification cultivation with other fellow practitioners. The only difference was that I still had a body that I could not take care of, as I could hardly walk.
When Master called for truth-clarification, I also tried to do so. Because of my physical condition, I almost never was out and about, so I rarely interacted with others. All I could do was clarify the truth to my family. However, before doing so with my family, I had concerns. I was afraid that they would not understand, because the persecution created a very suppressive and very evil environment several years ago. So I dared not speak out.
I once clarified the truth to a person who lived nearby who came to my home. I spoke the truth to him with difficulty in front of my mother. During the entire process, my mother had been busy working and said nothing. At last, that man said something sarcastic. When Mom heard it, she told him in a strict tone, "Listen to what you were told. It is for your benefit." Mom's reaction surprised me a lot. Consequently, I felt an indescribable excitement. I knew that I had walked one step further.
I later came up with the idea of distributing truth-clarification materials. Although I could not walk far and could not distribute a lot, I thought that one flyer was better than none. Once this idea emerged, the next obstacle was how to explain it to my family. I thought about going out after everyone went to sleep, but I felt that this was not right. I should explain it to my family, and in that way, my heart would be calm, and everything I did would be graceful. One night, Mom and Dad had already gone to bed. I came to their room and explained what I was going to do and guaranteed them that nothing bad would happen to me. They didn't say anything. Thus, I smoothly advanced one step further.
I also recall one winter's night several years ago. I got dozens of truth-clarifying CDs and walked out alone. As I was distributing the truth-clarifying materials, I heard someone's footsteps in the snow, walking towards me. I was a little bit scared but forced myself to go ahead. That person stopped when he saw me. Though I didn't see that person's face, I could tell from the silhouette that it was the most familiar person I knew - my Dad. Later, I found out that Mom worried about me and asked Dad to check on me. They were afraid that if I fell down, I might not be able to get up and would freeze to death outside. At that moment, I was so moved. I am thankful for Mom and Dad's support of me and to Dafa. I am so moved that they made the right choice for their future!
To this day, my family supports me as always, and I know it is related to my pure righteous thoughts. However, it made me vividly feel that "all living beings have come for the Fa."
During the first two years that Dafa was suppressed, we lost our cultivation environment, and my fellow practitioners' home environments were not good. Only my home was good. So fellow practitioners liked to come to my place. Practitioners were frequently seen at my home. My home was located near the Township Government. Fellow practitioners from all nearby villages would come, especially when there was a fair. Later, practitioners from other places naturally delivered Master's new scriptures to my place, and then they were transfered to other practitioners. At that time, there was no printer, so many hand-written copies were made. Then came the publication of "Minghui Weekly," which was a means to share our experiences. It was delivered to my home as well. So with the help of my family and fellow practitioners, I established our local truth-clarification materials site.
Founding the Truth-clarification Materials Production Site
In late 2002, my elder brother came back home and bought me a computer.
At that time, we used dial-up connection to go online, and I hoped that I could browse the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net). I still remember the exciting moment when I connected to the Minghui website for the first time. I could hardly believe that I was able to break through the Internet blockade to get on the Minghui website. What used to be very difficult and far away became so simple.
I later thought that it would be nice to have a printer to print out things from the Internet. So I asked a fellow practitioner to find the prices for a printer. When that practitioner came back, he actually had with him a Canon S200 printer. He said it was bought by a practitioner in the county, and the practitioner didn't even ask for any money. Thus, my little truth-clarification materials production site was established. I remember that this occurred around May 2003.
During the process of preparing materials, we replaced the printer several times. In addition, we bought an engraved recording machine, a models sealing machine, a large paper cutter, and equipment for making books. We could make anything, including brochures, weekly newspapers, fliers, and CDs of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party .We can do anything that we need to. We have grown from having nothing and knowing nothing. We experienced many difficulties, but we had good results, details of which I won't describe here. Last year, when I printed the Nine Commentaries at home, I had to stay up for half the night, sometimes until two or three o'clock in the morning, but I did not feel tired. I only slept two to three hours per night and rested a little bit during the day, for a total of less than five hours. However, my mind was in a very good state.
My truth-clarification materials site, although family-like, actually supplied our entire township's several dozen practitioners with weekly newsletters and truth-clarification materials. From the very beginning, I started looking for someone who could coordinate with me. I knew that maintaining a truth-clarification materials site's normal operation could not depend on one person, and I quickly found a partner. His wife is also a fellow practitioner. Naturally, she joined us as well, and helped with binding the materials. During the several years that we worked together, we helped compensate for each other's insufficiencies and became a very effective team. Until the time I left that place, I gave all I had, including the house, to them. They are still running the materials site.
During the several years of operating the materials production site, we became a testimony of how local fellow practitioners had validated the Fa during those years. More than once, fellow practitioners were arrested and put into a forced labor camp by a local person. The persecution was so intense that those of us who were not mature at the time faced tremendous pressure. Although fellow practitioners had fear in their hearts, they never stopped stepping forward to validate the Fa. Recently, practitioners in my hometown clarified the truth to the manager of the police station (who had participated many times in "illegally arresting" and putting practitioners into the forced labor camp) and helped him withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. The manager put his hands together in front of chest (a pose from a Falun Gong exercise) after he agreed to do the "three withdrawals," to show his appreciation to Falun Dafa practitioners. When I heard this, I experienced an indescribable feeling.
My family was relocated, and moved to another county. I left fellow practitioners to go there twice. I spent two summers there but kept thinking about my hometown, as I hoped to go back. So did my fellow practitioners at home.
In this new, strange county, I contacted local practitioners very easily. However, I always treated myself as just passing through quickly and hoped to return home soon. I even treated moving away as a disturbance from my family.
This year, my family bought a computer for me and subscribed to a DSL broadband service. I purchased a CD-burner, downloaded some videos, and made CDs for local practitioners. I later learned that the local master discs were coming from other counties. Therefore, I naturally took the responsibility for making the master discs. Several days earlier, I downloaded Master's video "Fa-Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners." In order to guarantee the quality, I did not make the master disc. Instead, I stored it directly on a hard disk to burn CDs. I spent several days using two burners to make almost one hundreds CDs for fellow practitioners.
Several days ago, a fellow practitioner who is in charge of editing the weekly newsletter had some security concerns. He wanted to move the printer and other machines to my place because he "could not find an appropriate place." I thought his security concerns were indeed very serious. Therefore, I agreed. So he moved all his "property" over, including himself. During the previous six months, he almost never studied the Fa, never exercised, and never sent forth righteous thoughts. His coming over solved his problem of studying the Fa and exercising.
About two months prior, I had mentioned to a practitioner that our local truth-clarification materials were so plain and colorless. I suggested that she buy a high-speed, ink-jet color printer. She agreed, and wanted to buy one and put it at my place. However, because I thought about "going back home" so much at that time, I did not agree. This practitioner again mentioned buying a color printer. Because she didn't find a proper model at a local store, she gave the money to me. Two days ago, I searched on the web and bought a printer locally. Thus, I have one more color, ink-jet printer. Without any formal planning, another materials site was established (in this county, away from my home).
During this process and shortly before delivering the Nine Commentaries CDs in our condominium, my point of view was changing from, "I want to go back home right away" to gradually realizing my responsibility here. I used to think that the old forces took advantage of my affectation to my family to disturb me. Now, I came to understand that Master had arranged this kind of "disturbance." I realized that as long as I was putting my attention on the Fa and thinking about how to do Fa-validation, Master would take care of everything. Even the bad things can turn out to be good things. During this process, I also saw the deep qing I had for the fellow practitioners that I interacted with every day. Standing here, I would like to take this opportunity to bless the fellow practitioners in my hometown who also miss me. I wish them all the best!
Disabled Dafa Practitioners Should Not Belittle Themselves
Because of my health problem, I shut myself off for so many years and formed a very self-defeating mindset. I didn't dare face anyone's attention.
Through continuous cultivation within Fa-rectification, I became more clear on an issue that haunted me all the time, and I gradually formed a more clear understanding. The old forces delicately arranged what they wanted during Master's Fa-rectification, including Dafa practitioners' every single thought and mindset. Thus, there came about a variety of practitioners. In other words, there were all kinds of persons who obtained the Fa. Among them, there are some who had bad thoughts (including the so-called "spy") and all kinds of disabled Dafa practitioners who were blind, deaf, lack arms or legs, including some who could not take care of themselves. The old forces arranged this for these Dafa practitioners, who carried huge karma from their past lives, and arranged for them to obtain the Fa today. The old forces threw this mess to Master (implying): "Your Dafa has power and mighty virtue. OK, these people are yours. Save them. We are helping you to achieve your mighty virtue." Thus the old forces show their true nature.
What the old forces didn't think about is that Master is the creator of the entire universe. Master's Fa is the fundamental Dafa that creates the universe. Master won't be deterred by their arrangements at all. Instead, Master has ingeniously used their arrangements. He is using the boundless Dafa to salvage these people while making harmonious the future universe for eternity. Because Dafa opens a path for future people to become gods, the new universe will become more harmonious and grand. A mechanism for a harmonious eternity will be established from top to bottom. Think about it! If these people can consummate in Dafa, who cannot? From this perspective, while Master makes use of the old forces' arrangements, every and each Dafa practitioner is also given a sacred mission of creating the future. Thus, we should harmonize what Master wants and persistently walk our own course righteously.
All practitioners, including all kinds of disabled practitioners, have the sacred mission that Master assigned to them. Our consummation not only involves our own bodies and our worldly consummation, but it also involves whether in the future those who are similar to us can consummate. In other words, this involves the question of the future, new universe's harmony and eternity. Therefore, regardless of what kind of difficulties we encounter, these are all what we should accomplish well and create, by overcoming the frustrations and hardships.
From the Fa, we know that Master's choice is the best. Every practitioner is the choice of Master. Since Master chose you, you must be able to finish. Don't have that kind of intense feeling of being inferior. Don't abandon yourself, trip yourself up, or belittle yourself. Looking down on yourself is looking down on a practitioner. It is looking down on Master's choice. It is disrespectful to Dafa and to Master. Once a being becomes a Falun Dafa practitioner, its life no longer belongs to itself. Isn't self-defeat another form of attachment to "self?"
Similarly, in validating the Fa, as long as you have that heart, Master will arrange your course according to your own situation. I read from an experience sharing article that some blind people brought their nephew to spread the truth-clarification materials. I also saw that some fellow practitioners who could not take care of themselves wrote a letter to the Minghui website, appealing to fellow practitioners from another county to come to their place to clarify the truth and save all beings. Aren't they all walking on their own paths of Fa-validation? Moreover, from my own real experience, I realized that in Dafa cultivation, wherever there is a will, there is a path.
Hence, all disabled practitioners, do not improperly belittle yourself any longer. Walk down your own road of Fa-validation! This is denying the old forces' arrangements!
All those bad, even dirty, thoughts stem out of "self." Whenever you get rid of "self," you are truly, fully merged into Dafa. Then you live up to the title of Fa-rectification Period Dafa Disciple. Therefore, I titled this article, "Breaking out of Self-imposed Imprisonment."
Fellow practitioners, please kindly point out any mistakes.