Always Looking Inward When Facing Problems
(Clearwisdom.net) The evil beings always try to seize every opportunity they can. One day my daughter made a long distance phone call to me about something that was very important, and was something that needed my complete attention. However, I did not have full awareness when I was listening to my daughter and when she finished, I casually responded with, "I got it," without thinking twice about it. Those three words that were spoken from my mouth did not have righteous thoughts and became a loophole for the evil to exploit because the phone call was something of great importance. As a result, I instantaneously had illness symptoms.
I know that when this kind of thing happens, I should look inside myself first to determine the reason. I am a Falun Gong practitioner, so every single thought that I have, as a Dafa practitioner, should be aligned with Dafa and should not deviate from Dafa. After looking inside myself, I realized that what I was saying and how I said it was in fact a manifestation of my attachment to fear. This single thought of mine was not in accordance with the Fa and revealed to me a hidden attachment to fear that should be eliminated.
Another incidence occurred when a fellow practitioner brought some truth-clarification materials over to me and asked me to take them. At the time, I already had a large bag of truth-clarification materials with me, so I suggested that we divide them and each of us carry a portion of them. My suggestion showed that I did not consider the other fellow practitioner. This was an indication of my selfishness and my attachment to fear. During that night, I had a dream that I was distributing truth-clarification materials but suddenly there was interference. At that moment, I felt fear, and as a result I was chased by evil beings. As I was running, I yelled loudly, "Master, help!" The evil beings were about to catch me but instantly were dissolved after I loudly called Master Li's name. This tribulation was a result of my own attachment to fear. It was cleared for me by our great compassionate Master only when I had righteous thoughts.
From these two incidents, I learned unforgettable lessons. By looking inside, I know that these things happened because I did not truly understand the Fa with my heart, and as a result I did not always maintain righteous thoughts. Recently, I found myself doing relatively well, so I could clarify the truth to people face-to-face and deliver truth-clarification materials more easily. However, in my personal cultivation I did not do very well. I always saw the shortcomings of other practitioners, I did not look inward when experiencing tribulations, and I used an everyday person's mindset instead of a practitioner's mindset. Without understanding the Fa well enough, these things manifested in my life.
During this test, I realized that I need to progress based on the Fa's principles, be more diligent, truly cultivate and improve my xinxing, do well the three things arranged for us by Master, and fulfill my historic mission. I also encourage other practitioners to do even better so as to not let Master worry about us.