My Lesson of Having Too Many Human Attachments
(Clearwisdom.net) Because we are cultivating as ordinary members of society, our human concepts often surface. As a result, we are surrounded by qing and sometimes are apt to forget what a cultivator should do. The following is a recent incident I encountered.
A while ago, when my child got married, I went back to my hometown for the wedding. I gave the book Zhuan Falun to my relatives, along with some DVDs teaching the Falun Gong exercises and the book, the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party.
After all of my relatives left, my sister-in-law asked me, "Did they accept those items you gave them? Might they report you?" At that moment, my heart moved a little and I had some fear. But I still said calmly, "I am not afraid. We are all relatives." My niece continued, "My Dad said that you gave out those Falun Dafa cards of yours. If someone reported you, that would be trouble." I smiled and said, "Would you report me?" At that moment, I did not realize that this was Teacher's hint, telling me to send forth righteous thoughts. I was still soaking in the praise that the guests had given about the wedding and the bride and groom, and I neglected sending righteous thoughts.
Because I was busy during the stay in my hometown, I only sent forth righteous thoughts four times a day and did not add the thought to eliminate the bad concepts from sentient beings. Nothing happened after several days, and I developed the attachment of complacency. I told myself that nothing bad would happen to me. I was happy that I had done very well and still did not send righteous thoughts about the wedding and the guests there.
Several days after I returned, I received a call from my hometown: "Someone turned in some of those Dafa items to the security office. They are checking this case and asking for the names and work units of you, your spouse and child." Even before I finished listening, I felt a chill go through my body. My heart was racing and I even had trouble breathing. My whole body and mind were filled with fear. I was afraid that my family would worry, and I was afraid that the security department would find out my newlywed child's work unit. My husband was so worried that he could not eat or sleep. I became unable to calm my heart while studying the Fa or to keep a pure mind while sending forth righteous thoughts.
The more I was afraid, the more phone calls arrived. Some told me that the town security office was investigating the matter, while others said that several people from the county public security bureau came to ask questions. They had talked with so-and-so in my village, and said they would further check my mother's home and had inquired about the locations of my relatives, whether I had contacted fellow practitioners in my hometown, etc.
At that time, I truly felt that my whole world was crashing down. My human notions surfaced. I feared that my child or that other practitioners would be implicated, and that I might be arrested and sentenced. Under such fear, I thought of my cousin, who has close ties with the public security bureau. I thought that if I asked him to help me, I would be safe. I also considered skipping group Fa-study sessions and ceasing work at a truth clarification materials production site (1) until this sensitive time had passed. I also decided that I should put Teacher's articles in a safe place. At this time, I came across Teacher's article To the Israel Fa Conference, which said:
"I hope that you will do well the three tasks, just as I hope that you will walk well, with righteous thoughts and actions, the path of cultivation."
I realized that if I didn't study the Fa and work for the materials production site, and instead asked my cousin for help, how could I do well the three things? How could I walk well, with righteous thoughts and actions, the path of cultivation? I became clear-minded and realized that this was an arrangement by the old forces, and that I must not take a wrong step. Otherwise it would be very dangerous. I needed to follow the path Teacher had arranged for me, rid myself of fear, send forth righteous thoughts and do well the three tasks with righteous thoughts and actions. I became determined to continue working for the site and going to group Fa study.
"When human thinking gains the upper hand, that person heads toward humanness; when divine thinking and a person's righteous thoughts gain the upper hand, he heads toward godhood." (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
I realized that for a cultivator, if he heads toward humanness, he will have tribulations; if he heads toward godhood, his path will be clear and wide. I strived to be strict with myself at all times, whether I was walking, eating or on my own. I sent forth righteous thought to eliminate evil factors in other dimensions that damage Dafa, and to disintegrate those dark minions controlling the local public security bureau and security office -- they had no right to investigate me and interfere with the sentient beings who had already learned the truth. In my thoughts, every character of "The Fa rectifies the Cosmos, the Evil is completely eliminated" was so large that it covered that entire area.
Meanwhile, practitioners in my hometown also clarified the truth to the village officials and public security bureau. Those evil factors trying to manipulate them became powerless. Under the protection of compassionate Teacher and with righteous thoughts from fellow practitioners, the results did not unfold according to the old forces' arrangements. The village officials did not cooperate with the investigation. Other related officials also realized that it would be foolish for them to further investigate, as more people would learn the truth.
I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. Up to today, I should have become more and more diligent. Over the past seven years, I have unfurled a banner in Beijing, but the police did not arrest me. The 610 Office twice came to my home to arrest me, but I did not follow them. All along it has been our compassionate Teacher watching over me, allowing me to fearlessly walk a path through the evil persecution. Teacher has sacrificed so much for me. I feel that I am really not worthy of Teacher.
This incident occurred at a time when the environment was peaceful and my human notions surfaced. I will not make the same mistake again. I will rid myself of all human attachments according to Master's teachings and walk my path steadily.
July 22, 2006
(1) Materials productions sites: Due to the Chinese Communist Party's tight control of information within China, many Chinese are only able to hear the Party's anti-Falun Gong propaganda and are unable to hear other voices. In response, many Falun Dafa practitioners have set up home-based materials production sites, which make pamphlets, DVDs, and other truth-clarifying materials about Falun Dafa and the persecution of Falun Dafa practitioners. These are then distributed through various ways and means by practitioners.