Some Understandings from My Cultivation Practice in the Fa-Rectification Period

(Clearwisdom.net)

July 23rd 2006

Greetings, revered Teacher! Greetings, fellow practitioners! I would like to share some of my recent cultivation experiences in the following three parts.

Part 1. Memorizing the Fa

I have heard quite a few fellow practitioners' sharings regarding memorizing the Fa, but for a long time I couldn't set my mind to do it. I was afraid it might take too much time. This April, I finally set my heart to memorize the Fa. Once I started, I finally can understand the experiences shared by those practitioners who have been memorizing the Fa. I had some deep understandings myself as well.

In the past, I was not able to be enlightened by the Fa often as I was reading Zhuan Falun. On the contrary, I was enlightened more from reading Teacher's new articles. Since I started to memorize Zhuan Falun, I often feel I have attained new understandings of the Fa. Oftentimes the feeling is so deep that I truly feel the profoundness and magnificence of the Great Law. Those feelings are extremely difficult to describe with words In the past, when I read Zhuan Falun, I would easily become absentminded--sometimes I could hardly remember what I had just studied. Even though I finished reading one lecture of Zhuan Falun, I absorbed very little.. Yet when I memorize the Fa, I cannot be absentminded or else I won't be able to memorize it. When I memorize a passage of the Fa, I have truly absorbed it.

During the process of memorizing Zhuan Falun, I find some parts easier to memorize and others more difficult to memorize. For some parts I would spend a long time, but still could not memorize them. I realize that those difficult parts precisely address the problems or they would be parts on which I don't have a good understanding or have not assimilated to. I also realized that in the past, I have paid selected attention to certain parts of Zhuan Falun. Although I did not do it intentionally, my mind was unconsciously selecting the parts that I liked to read; as a result, I became more familiar with the parts that interested me and less familiar with the rest of the book. Memorizing the Fa led me to overcome this problem because I had to force myself to unconditionally assimilate to each and every part of Zhuan Falun.

When my condition is good, I can memorize three pages of Zhuan Falun a day. However, when I am busy or when I am not calm, I progress more slowly. I am not attached to the progress in terms of the quantity of pages I can memorize. I only see it as a regular routine of my Fa study. Meanwhile, I also study Teacher's new articles. So far, I have only memorized two and a half lectures, but I shall continue memorizing Zhuan Falun.

Part 2. Cultivating My Xinxing

When I first moved to Washington, D.C., I volunteered to be one of the translators for English speaking practitioners at the weekly large group Fa study and sharing. Gradually I seemed to become the only volunteer translator at the weekly group sharing. At first, I felt it was unfair. I thought, "There are many Chinese practitioners with a fair command of English in DC." Sometimes when I arrived at the Fa study and sharing after work, I had already taught at school for a few hours and I really didn't feel like talking at the group Fa study. Later I realized that this might be an arrangement on my path of cultivation and it wouldn't do if I failed my assigned mission.

One time during translation, a Chinese practitioner was not very organized when he shared his thoughts. I paused for a moment because I decided to organize his words in my head before I started the translation. Then I felt someone kicking or knocking hard on the back of my chair; there were no words, but the physical language was signaling me to hurry up and translate. I felt very offended. I thought, "It is not as if I owe you the translation." Besides, I was thinking of how to translate his unorganized speech in a more understandable way. However, I didn't speak my mind or turn around to see who kicked or knocked on my chair. I continued the translation. I was still very upset after I went home that night.

Then I started to think that the non-Chinese speaking practitioners must really yearn for the information that the Chinese practitioners shared in Chinese. I imagine it must be very difficult for them. Although we are all Teacher's disciples, we, the Chinese-speaking practitioners are frequently inconsiderate of the feelings of non-Chinese-speaking practitioners. Oftentimes Chinese practitioners chitchat and have laughed our hearts out before non-Chinese speaking practitioners can catch up with the conversation. Translation cannot do justice to the lively conversation in Chinese. With this in mind, I could understand when our non-Chinese speaking practitioners were anxious to know the content of our Chinese conversation. Besides, I used to miss some of the contents before I did the translation. With those thoughts in mind, I was no longer upset.

I also realized that the times when I tend to repel criticism the most were when I felt I had already made a lot of contributions and sacrifices, but had not received any praise or approval from fellow practitioners. I only heard my shortcomings. Oftentimes when fellow practitioners point out areas that need additional improvements after I had already done a lot of work, I would feel that I had done enough and I did not deserve that criticism. I refused to further improve based on their feedbacks. The simple truth is that I was complacent with my own achievements, my contributions and my existing level of cultivation practice.

In "Further Elimination of Attachments" in Essentials for Further Advancement, Teacher said, "Why don't you dare to abandon more and go one step further?" And on the subject of people with great inborn quality, Teacher said, "One should always improve xinxing, always suffer hardships, ascend constantly in cultivation, and always seek to upgrade xinxing, even though one cannot see one's own gong." ("Enlightenment" in Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun.)

I have always struggled in eliminating my attachment to lust. Sometimes I fight it successfully, but other times I fail. I am very susceptible to temptations in everyday society. Although my attachment to lust is not obvious to others, I know I have had a lot of lustful thoughts. I have been making constant efforts to eliminate them, but I have never had any major breakthroughs or improvement. A diligent cultivator should have solved this problem a long time ago. However, I seem to have been stuck on the same level of cultivation in terms of eliminating my attachment to lust. After looking deep down in my heart, I realized I still have beautiful fantasies about being intimate with women. In short, I hold on to humanness with one hand, and hold on to Buddhahood with the other hand. Deep down I have not really wanted to let go of my humanness. I know this is a very stubborn attachment.

My mother, who is a fellow cultivator, suggested that I write down my problem regarding my attachment to lust and share it with a few close practitioners by email. There were two purposes for doing this: first, to expose my attachment; second, by discussing the problem with a few close practitioners, I hoped to obtain a basic understanding of this problem and set my heart to make a fundamental change on this issue. I know that if I am unable to let go of these kinds of experiences coveted by everyday people, I would never be able to see the wonderful things in higher realms. Besides, many of those so-called beautiful experiences that today's people have a strong desire for, are precisely what truly pure, decent and noble people of ancient times regarded as extremely immoral, especially when judged by divine beings' standards.

Every fellow practitioner who received my email shared his own cultivation experiences. Some talked about their attachment to lust and others talked about other problems that they had fought against for a long time, including their experience on how they had overcome those attachments. They talked about the fundamental problems in their cultivation practice and everyone was very sincere.

During those few days, as I was resolving to let go of my attachment to lust for good, I felt I was trying to stride over a very large and wide threshold. I even felt sick and repulsed to the extent that I almost wanted to call it quits. However, it persevered for a few days and I started to feel very calm, no longer feeling sick. After this incident, I felt my mind had been purified a lot and is undergoing a fundamental change. Since then, it has becoming easy for me to detect a lustful thought when it comes up and I am becoming impervious to its power.

Part 3. My Few Experiences of Clarifying the Truth to the U.S. Government and Media

Although I have been clarifying the truth to the U.S. government, I didn't spend much time or effort on it until about six months ago.

In the past few years of truth clarification, many congressmen have learned the level of cruelty that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has exhibited in its persecution of Falun Gong practitioners. However, some Congressmen were reluctant to step out and support our cause because of their self-interest or the CCP's propaganda. Under these circumstances, it is imperative that we share some of the content of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party with them and help them understand the depths of the CCP's evilness. At the same time, we must help them realize the reality of China's economy and see through the façade of prosperity in the large cities in China.

Clarifying the truth to Congress is not a one-shot deal. It is not about making an ambush visit to ask members of Congress to co-sign a resolution or a dear-colleague letter supporting Falun Gong shortly before a deadline. It has to be a long-term and persistent effort, which requires that we establish long-term and trusting relationships with the congress members' staff. I try to forward all the latest news reports about Falun Gong or the realities of China to the congressional offices in order to have them understand more about Falun Gong and to bring them up-to-date on some of the manifestations in the human realm brought by the progression of the Fa-rectification. A timely expression of our gratitude for a congress person's support will also reinforce our positive rapport with his or her office. A few years ago when I lived in Saint Louis, fellow practitioners and I wished to thank a congressman for his support, so we presented him a large and beautifully-framed photograph of practitioners in Saint Louis practicing the Falun Gong exercises together. It contains signatures from all the practitioners in the photograph. To this day, this congressman still has this photograph displayed on his office wall.

When I was working on one particular project to clarify the truth to Congress, I had a lot of momentum in the beginning. Initially many congressional assistants responded with interest after I clarified the truth to them, and I became more motivated. However, gradually I discovered that they were reluctant to take any tangible action to support us because of their concern for the CCP's potential reaction. I lost some momentum. Although I continued to clarify the truth to them, I no longer had faith in them. I felt the America government would always be lukewarm about our cause and I shouldn't expect them to take any major action to support us. Then I searched inward of myself and identified my attachment to getting results. I forgot that the process is more important than the result. In fact, whether we want to do our best or not to clarify the truth and save them is a reflection of our mission and cultivation level. It is their choice whether they want to accept salvation or not. We must not be attached to the result. Furthermore, as the Fa-Rectification continues to progress, everyone and everything are undergoing various degrees of transformation. On the other hand, congressmen make a lot of legislative decisions on behalf of their constituents and their decisions will affect their constituents' future. So I must ask myself, "Have I done my best?" I know I have not.

Teacher said,

"With righteous thoughts,
save the world's people.
I just don't believe their consciences
are irretrievably lost." (From "For the Good of the World")

How can I allow myself to weaken my courage and faith in saving them because of a little discouragement?

I remember a scene at the end of the movie "Schindler's List." After WWII, Oskar Schindler saw the eleven hundred Jews he had saved. He was not happy because of this, and burst into tears because he knew he could have saved more. That particular scene touched me deeply. I know that if the truth were revealed right now in the human realm, the regret and agony for not having done my best would be indescribable. I know I must have a strict standard for myself, and devote all of myself in clarifying the truth to sentient beings, so in the near future, I would not have too many regrets because I had not save the sentient beings I ought to save.

In addition, I feel it is very important to keep up with open communication and cooperation as we deal with the government. I must share all the information with fellow practitioners because one cannot expect others to join the efforts while they don't know what is going on Some practitioners may not be able do well or may not know where to start in the beginning. In those situations, I need to have more tolerance for them and give them a lot of kindness to help them start and help them during their trials and errors. One practitioner once said, "I am willing to be a stepping stone on the cultivation path of other fellow practitioners." I was very touched when I heard this. I realized that I had not done enough.

In addition, I feel I should cooperate with fellow practitioners in different project groups too. After all, all the Dafa projects complement and complete one another. Their fates are tied together. Once a congressman's assistant told us that he abandoned his negative opinion of Falun Gong when he saw our parade a few years ago. This year during the Independence Day parade in Washington, D.C, I randomly interviewed a few spectators of the parade to write a report. When I asked what their professions are, it turned out the first man was an editor of a major newspaper in the U.S., the second one was a volunteer at the Amnesty International human rights organization and the third one was a lobbyist for Congress. My impression at that moment was: there are so many VIPs in the Washington, D.C. area! At the same time, it dawned on me that how important it is for us to blend in with the mainstream society in the U.S with a positive appearance.

Once a fellow practitioner who had been contacting VIPs said, "It is not enough to only meet them formally . We need to make friends with them and have deeper connections with them in order to clarify the truth to them in depth." The next day was the rescheduled trial day for Ms. Wenyi Wang. At the courthouse I met a reporter from a large news wire service and clarified the truth to him. This was the first time he had heard of Falun Gong. He was shocked when I told him about China taking organs from living Falun Gong practitioners. He gave me his business card and told me that I could call him. I am not partial to mingling or being social with people, but I remembered that practitioner's suggestion as well as the benefit of clarifying the truth in depth if I could make friends with reporters. I knew I should overcome my introverted personality. After I went home, I called that reporter and suggested having lunch together the next day. He accepted the invitation right away.

On the next day we had a two and a half hour lunch together . While we were talking, I discovered that we went to schools in the same state and one of his sons is now studying at the University where I teach. I clarified the truth about Falun Gong and China's persecution against Falun Gong to him in depth. I also told him the truth about China's forced organ harvesting from living Falun Gong practitioners. He was taking notes the entire time. I could tell he intended to write a report about it, although his editor did not approve of it. I asked him to pass the words to his editor to please do not use the word "sect" to describe Falun Gong and he agreed with me.

A fellow practitioner had also clarified the truth in depth to an editor and a reporter from this news wire service. When the prosecutor dropped the charges on Wenyi, their agency's report on this was fairly positive, and they also mentioned China's forced organ harvesting from Falun Gong practitioners. They stopped using the word "sect," as well. Although this news wire service had often used this word to describe Falun Gong and portrayed Falun Gong negatively in the past.

Since then, I thought that I should learn to make friends in U.S. society this way and interact more with the mainstream society so that they will have a better understand of us. As a result, I will have more opportunities to save these political moguls, reporters and the sentient beings they have influence on..

This concludes my few sharings of my cultivation during the Fa-rectification period. Please kindly point out and correct anything that is inappropriate.

Thank you, Teacher! Thank you, fellow practitioners!