Greetings, Respected Master!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I've gained quite a lot from seven years of cultivation practice, though deficiencies still remain. Today I'd like to share with all my fellow practitioners, hoping we can advance together and work diligently on the Fa together, and do the three things well, saving more sentient beings.
Looking back to the days when I started to practice the Fa, it seemed things happened accidentally. But now when I recollect my experiences in the first half of my life, I have become aware that everything was arranged for me to get ready for the Fa, including moving several times and my own marriage. At those crucial moments, Master's painstaking arrangements have ensured I didn't miss the opportunity to practice. Eventually, I was led to the Fa due to my marriage. It is not only for this life's cultivation practice, but in fact Master has always kept an eye on Dafa disciples, ensuring that we were never totally lost or impeded by self notions to miss the opportunity to practice the Fa in this life. Master's mercy and greatness are beyond description.
I had always been shy since I was a child. When I grew up, though I saw plainly and clearly, too much of the world's competition for fame and self interest through intrigues and lies; yet deep in my heart I kept pursuing goodness. Although some relatives told me to learn to be smart and become a strong man, yet I myself was absolutely not willing to do so; even if I lost profits I set my conscience at ease. But then the cruel reality set in. I didn't even get a clue why I was in such an antipathetic position and I felt totally lost in searching for purpose in my life.
Just after we started cultivation practice, evidence showed that the persecution of Falun Gong would take place in China. As expected, days later, showing its true face, the CCP started rumor mongering, spreading false reports against Falun Dafa, and arresting and persecuting practitioners wildly and widely throughout the country on July 20th, 1999. This was a very big tribulation for new practitioners who had just started their journey of practicing. And it is just like what Master has said in Touring North America to Teach the Fa,
"Back when I was teaching Dafa, why were the old forces dead set on limiting the number of people who would obtain the Fa during the first round to 100 million? Even these 100 million people are the result of my insistence. At the time, the number they limited it to was 70 million, while I wanted 200 million people. They knew that if 200 million people were to obtain the Fa during the first round they wouldn't be able to make this evil so-called "test" happen, so they were dead set on limiting it to 100 million. A large group of these people had just obtained the Fa when they couldn't wait anymore to begin the so-called tribulation. That was unfair to those people".
But fortunately, I had known well about the evil CCP from childhood. From 1989 on, apart from some travel programs of mainland China, I had watched television series broadcast from Hong Kong and Taiwan, so the CCP's propaganda didn't completely blindfold me. More than that, I was a practitioner myself and I knew exactly what Master had said in the Fa, and all the propaganda released was lies. Therefore, I did not waiver in my cultivation. Owing to my unsteady study of the Fa, I didn't quite understand those practitioners who had gone to Beijing, and didn't know what had happened and what they'd gone there for. The only thing I cherished was the greatness of the Fa, which is all I wanted and I had to carry it on till the end of my cultivation path.
After starting practicing, both my body and soul felt comfortable and at ease. Plus, I had reached the state Master required in the fifth exercise. With the deepening of my cultivation practice and the in-depth understanding of Fa, my tribulations were enlarged, mainly in my family life. I often felt my wife persisted unreasonably, which made me fly into a rage. I wondered how she could act like this as a practitioner herself. Though I clearly and logically argued with her, which rendered her speechless, yet she still pestered me with her unreasonable demands and easily lost her temper. Subsequently, I enlightened to these tribulations as a chance for me to upgrade my xinxing, which is just like what Master taught in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four, "Upgrading Xinxing",
"By the time the gong reaches his xinxing level, the gong has also increased up to that level. If he wants to continue increasing his gong, the conflict will also become very serious, as it requires him to keep upgrading xinxing. This is particularly true for a person with good inborn quality. He may think that his gong has been increasing well and the practice also goes very well. Why are there suddenly so many problems? Everything goes wrong. People mistreat him, and his boss also does not favor him. Even the situation at home becomes very tense."
Through actual cultivation practice, I myself gradually truly comprehended Master's teaching in this part of Fa. During subsequent cultivation practice, I've gained a deeper grasp of it.
At the start of the persecution, as a new practitioner with only my family members knowing the fact of my practicing, I was totally in the state of cultivating myself and practicing gong only, without doing anything for Fa-rectification, which I knew nothing about. In 2000, after learning about some Dafa defaming event I realized that I had to write down what I knew and send it out to make the truth clear. At that time, my mind was pure and clean, and I never thought of being persecuted for doing so. Later on, I downloaded and printed some truth-clarifying materials to send out from some Dafa websites. At last, just before I immigrated to Canada, we had established our material site to print fliers and brochures, and fellow practitioners would go out at night or some other time to distribute them to each household. There were two elderly practitioners who had plenty of free time also giving out filers during the day, and they have almost covered the whole region. Sometimes, we did encounter some crisis, yet under Master's compassionate protection, we were never in jeopardy.
Going out to distribute filers seemed very simple, but in fact it needed some breakthroughs. The key point was to eliminate the attachment of fear, especially when acknowledging the cruelty and severity of the persecution, a breakthrough in the heart of fear which was blocking us was further needed.
The very first time I went out to distribute truth-clarifying materials was just like a huge battleground of mental warfare. I knew perfectly well that I shouldn't possess the attachment of fear, yet I inexplicably shivered with fright. But as long as I stood firm in the Fa, I could make breakthroughs knowing I was saving sentient beings, and that the fliers going out of my hands were of crucial importance. The key was to hold righteous thoughts. However, the heart of fear was not eliminated in a single blow. I had thought that with the first breakthrough, it would be fine. But in fact, I was chastened several times to eliminate the attachment of fear. Moreover, dangers accompanied me every now and then, and any problem in my cultivation practice would be the reason for the evil to carry out their persecution. There were times around 11pm,when I returned after giving out fliers, and found a van parked at the gate, lights off, with guys sitting inside murmuring. At a glance, I knew they were sent to keep a close watch for people distributing truth-clarifying fliers. When I recall all this now, I realize if I hadn't studied Fa every day, I would have been persecuted, though I was not studying as much or as diligently as I should; yet I insisted on learning Fa every day. With Master's protection, at last we dared to distribute truth-clarifying materials like fliers and CDs and put up posters in the hustle and bustle of the night market and the stations.
At the end of 2000, I decided to apply for immigration to Canada. One reason was that I wanted to see Master Li, and also out of respect for my overseas relatives' advice, I could have my career develop better there. During the subsequent application process, I had thought a lot about whether I should go abroad or not and came to no conclusion. At last, I told myself that I had better let things be; if my application was accepted, I would go abroad, but if not I could also validate the Fa inside China. It appeared to be the right decision to make for I made great advancement in cultivation practice after coming to Canada.
I've started my cultivation practice a bit later than most other disciples, when I was in China. I hadn't realized I should go to Beijing, but I've had a chance to make up for it here in a foreign land, being on duty at the Chinese embassy. I thought I have had my attachment of fear eliminated by managing to send out truth-clarifying materials back in China. Till the very first day at the Embassy I found that attachment had not been eliminated; root and branch. I realized that cultivation practice was really a process of continuously eliminating the attachments. After one layer of attachment had been eliminated another layer hide deeper which would subsequently show itself to be eliminated again.
As a practitioner, one has to be steadfast, be firm in believing Master and the Fa, and follow the right path by working diligently on the Fa without any letup. On my way to the Chinese embassy for the first time, I felt perturbed with fear and uncertainty. I worried about my family: would they be implicated? Nobody else knew I was a practitioner so we didn't have too much interference. But now my practicing Dafa would be known openly by my standing before the Embassy: would my family be involved in it? I know all too well about the evilness of the CCP. Thus, in fear and worry I came to the Embassy. After distributing truth-clarifying materials for a while, by and by the attachment of fear was eliminated. Seeing passersby receiving the filers, joy and peace spontaneously generated from my heart. I felt a sincere happiness for sentient beings having been saved. And thus, I understood the state of compassion. Later on, no matter how bad my state was, once I stood at the gate of the Embassy, I would feel clear-minded and sufficiently able and I was filled with compassion. The wonderful feelings were beyond description. Especially when we stand in the freezing cold winter under the heavy snow and biting cold winds, the people were more easily touched, and they did believe what we said was all true. A most touching experience for me was on my night shift, at about midnight, a car passing by stopped and a complete stranger opened his car window and cried out to me and another practitioner "Falun Dafa is good!" several times. I felt truly and whole-heartedly happy for the person with such a clear mind. And I was also deeply moved by practitioners' persistence on duty at the Embassy, which is ultimately important.
Time passed swiftly, and during my years in Canada, I've had more time to devote to Fa-rectification. And thus I've had more chances to cultivate and to enhance myself, so that I could make continuous breakthroughs on my path of practice. In the process of constantly looking within during cultivation practice, I really find that there are many hearts of attachments that should be eliminated. I have benefited not only from my own experiences but also from events happening to other people around me. I gained a deep understanding of the meanings of our Master's words in A Dialogue with Time,
"Divine Being: These problems have already become very serious. It would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things that they have been able to find in others."
I usually disapproved when hearing fellow practitioners sharing their experiences on tribulations made by themselves; thinking an easy-going person like me should have no such problem. Until my own tribulation came, I didn't realize that I had deeply hidden human attachments that should be dug out and eliminated. Sometimes I could not pass the tribulations my wife made for me, but it got better through times of hardships. Not long ago, I took part in some group's projects. Owing to some unforeseen disagreements with fellow practitioners, I did not fully understand and I truly experienced some mental inconsistencies. Though I didn't have a problem knowing I had to upgrade my xinxing, yet, those feelings of affliction took hold of me, grasped at my heart, which was rather torturous for me. Anyhow I remembered that I am a Dafa practitioner and I had to improve myself. Whenever I suffered from torture in my heart, I would recall what Master said in the Fa and how I should be in accordance with it. In this way, I can gradually have a deeper understanding of the Fa. I realized how important it is to study the Fa and I knew well that whatever frustrations or tribulations I would come across, they are good chances for me to upgrade xinxing by looking within. Though it is for sure a very difficult task, and I am not fully satisfied with what I've done up to now; yet I firmly believe that as long as we bear Dafa in mind, and cultivate by looking within unconditionally, we will become better and better till we achieve the final enlightenment.
As far as I can understand there are no conflicts between personal cultivation practice and the Fa-rectification practice. What really matters is we should place our heart in a righteous place, treat ourselves all the way as practitioners. Fa-rectification has granted me more chances to break through myself and advance. I used to be a heavy sleeper. Even after sleeping for nine hours straight I still felt sleepy. When I learned in Master's lecture that many practitioners have only three to five hours of sleep every day, I thought they were terrific. But I simply couldn't make it. Later when Fa-rectification projects required it and I knew the importance of what we were doing, out of compassion toward sentient beings, I could manage to sleep less, gradually. I sleep six hours a day now. For two nights I worked till 2:00am and got only four hours sleep and then went to work afterwards. And I did it. So the key is how we treat ourselves. If we treat ourselves as practitioners and not ordinary human beings, we can make various breakthroughs in all aspects in our cultivation.
One more thing, I used to be so shy a person that I would feel scared even shopping for groceries, never mind speaking in public. But during the Canadian elections last year, in order to take the opportunity to clarify the truth to both candidates and ordinary people, I took part in truth-clarifying activities during the debate. My first time being involved in this kind of activity I luckily had a practitioner accompany me. But he had some difficulties finding the place since it was only a small city, and not well-known at all. And when there were only 20 minutes left before the start of the debate, and I was still the only person standing at the gate; what should I do? Wait for him? Only 20 minutes left and he hadn't even called. What if he couldn't make it on time? Should I leave and go back? At that time, I heard a voice saying all the while to me: Go back , you can't do it. I felt there was a strong power trying to push me away from the site. But just at that moment, I remembered, I am a Dafa disciple, I came to this world merely for aiding our Master in Fa-rectification to save sentient beings. Could I really see those precious lives be ruined by the evil without doing anything and the only reason was that I thought my character was not suitable for that? No! I must make a breakthrough. Thinking this way, I plucked up the courage and forced myself to give out fliers to everyone. When meeting interested people, I would talk further with them with my not-so- good English. And under Master's arrangement, I even got a chance to clarify the truth to one of the candidates, who showed her support for us. Soon the debate began and I received a call from the other practitioner. Not long after, he arrived. When the question time came, we both raised a question before the microphone as planned and we won warm applause. After the meeting, many kind-hearted people came up to wish us good luck. Our truth-clarifying achieved a good effect. And through this experience I realized cultivation is a process of constantly eliminating human attachments and breaking through human notions and ego. So to us Dafa disciples, it is not essential to know what we want or what we want to do, but more of what I should do for Fa-rectification and how should I do it according to Dafa. I will do whatever Dafa requires, and eliminate human attachments that hold me back, which, to me, is a process of correcting and cultivating continuously.
After the crime of organ harvesting was exposed, some of us felt lost in our efforts to end the inhuman persecution. But I find that Master's already addressed that out in Mature. So please allow me to cite Master's article Mature to conclude my speech,
"My overall impression is that most Dafa disciples have matured; the way in which they are cultivating has matured; the understanding cultivators have of cultivation has matured; and the rational behavior that comes from a progressive decrease in human thoughts has, likewise, matured. When all Dafa disciples are like this, the evil will be completely eliminated and Gods and Buddhas will grandly manifest."
Thank you, Master!
Thanks, everybody!
