(Clearwisdom.net) The brutality in the secret concentration camp in Sujiatun shocked many people, and it impacted the human hearts of many practitioners, including me. I had hatred, worry, fear, and objection. I was also confused. My belief in Master and Dafa was even shaken when I was the most distressed. During the process of suffering from my attachments and getting rid of my human notions, I gradually came to understand that this was a tribulation that targeted our fundamental attachments and human notions.
Actually, we should not have the sadness that everyday people have. Although those practitioners died as a result of persecution, what they sacrificed is incomparable to the permanent wonderfulness that Master gave them, regardless of how brutal their deaths seemed to the human world. The exposure of the concentration camp in Sujiatun burst the image of the CCP and the illusions that many people had about it. This exposure has helped people to see and understand the evil nature of the CCP. Because of this, many sentient beings will position themselves correctly, make the correct choice, and therefore be saved. What practitioners should do now is use every possible method to rapidly and widely expose the evil crimes that the CCP has committed, including in its concentration camps throughout China.
The persecution is so brutal that I feel that it is directed at me. The violent killing of my fellow practitioners touched my self-interest that I had not yet eliminated. Thus I developed worries and concerns about myself. I was afraid that I would be persecuted, I would die, or I would lose all the things I have in the human world.
This brutal persecution has maximally impacted our attachments, human hearts, and human notions that we have not eliminated in our cultivation. In my everyday life I do everything routinely, and in this big dye vat of ordinary human society I have gradually developed the attachment to comfort. I slacked off and was not diligent in many situations. I could not endure suffering or conflict. My will became weak. I forgot the real purpose of cultivation and the oath I made when I came down to the human world. I became paralyzed and numb. Oftentimes, I was satisfied with the path that I had walked and what I had done, such as relying on my previous achievements and waiting for consummation. My human heart had been fed and enlarged and my fundamental attachment had been cleverly obscured. Actually, I was in a tribulation, and this tribulation was the kind that cannot be easily detected.
During this recent "test of the human heart" (i.e., to let go of human sentiment), I was in great pain, confused, lost, and sad. My righteous thoughts fought with my human sentiment. I had another pain when my enlightened side asked why I had so much doubt about Master. Where had my solid righteous thoughts gone? I had a vague recall of righteous thoughts, but righteous thoughts were very far away from me. There was some filthy stuff in my head and heart, which made me uncomfortable and my mind unclear. This filthy stuff also separated the righteous thoughts from me. Later I realized that the filthy stuff was the self-centered substance which maximally keeps me attached to self and encloses this part of me.
However, regardless of how strong the human notions were, how painful it was and how confused I felt, this was a temporary feeling. I knew that the fundamental yearning and longing for Dafa in my life, which is also the purified nature of Dafa, is unshakable. It is because, after many years of studying the Fa and cultivating, the principle of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" is already deeply rooted in my heart. I have previously experienced many tribulations and difficulties, and during those times it seemed impossible to overcome those difficulties. However, through studying the Fa constantly, I overcame those difficulties with solid righteous thoughts and the will to overcome them.
In this most recent tribulation, regardless of how difficult the situation was, I kept reading the Fa, memorizing the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, clarifying the truth, exposing the persecution, looking inward, sharing with fellow practitioners and reading articles from "Minghui Weekly."
Finally I overcame the tribulation. All the pain and pressure and the substances that separated me from the righteous thoughts disappeared. My mind became clear and my understanding of the Fa also became clear. I had the feeling of:
"...The heavens clear, the cosmic body transparent, the universe rectified,..." ("After the Catastrophe" in Hong Yin)
Thus, I would like to share with those practitioners who are in a similar situation. We should cultivate even more solidly in this tribulation. We should not follow our bad thoughts and notions. We need to realize that such notions, which can shake our will, are actually not ours. If we can do well the three things that Master asked us to do in any situation, then we will be able to overcome any difficulties regardless of how bad they seem on the surface level.
We should also realize that all the pressures we have are actually tests that target our belief in Dafa. In fact, regardless of how strong our human notions are, as long as they come up to the surface level, this is an opportunity for us to get rid of them. We should not take them too seriously regardless of how strong they seem on the surface. Since things turn around when reaching the extreme, we will be able to get rid of them as long as we can solidly cultivate.
When I was in the tribulation and confused, I looked back at the path I had walked. My body had experienced dramatic changes right after I started cultivation. I also had experienced all kinds of miracles in each period of my cultivation. When I obeyed the principles of the Fa and followed the requirements of Fa-rectification, I experienced (again and again and again) what Master said:
"'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'" (Zhuan Falun)
Moreover, my understanding of the Fa kept improving. I asked myself: "Aren't all of these real?"
I looked inward and wondered why I had so many horrible thoughts and doubts about Master and Dafa in that period.
What was the problem? There must be a reason behind the surface level stuff. I decided to look for my fundamental attachments.
When I first started cultivating Dafa I had attachments to healing sickness and the fear of death, but I had recognized and realized these two human hearts before the Sujiatun incident. So what else was there that I had not realized? When I looked inward again, I realized that I had another fundamental attachment--the heart of avoiding disaster by cultivating Dafa.
Yes, I did have this attachment. Just like those who worship a Buddha to eliminate tribulations, solve problems, and make a fortune, I also had similar desires. When I first started practicing I felt that I had obtained the Fa and so Master would protect me and my family. We would be healthy and have no disasters. I remember one occasion in the early days when my wife wanted to give up cultivation. I was very worried and thought that there was no reason to lose such a good Dafa. I also clearly remember my strong human emotion: I was afraid that she would lose the protection of Dafa and experience disaster, and I was afraid that I would lose her. I not only hoped that I would be able to avoid disaster by cultivating Dafa, but I also hoped my family would have the same benefit. Behind the desire to avoid disaster were the attachments to benefit and sentiment in the human world. Those attachments were tangled with my fear of death. In fact, it was my human heart that tried to use Dafa to protect the benefits I was attached to.
Master is benevolent, and He has given us time to improve our own understandings. Since I was in the Fa and continued cultivating, I realized why humans have diseases and I eliminated my desire to avoid disease.
How did I let go of the fear of death? Since the age of 10, I often experienced the fear of death. I felt that death was very scary because one would lose everything after death. This strong fear lasted for a long time, even after I started cultivating. Although it was not evident when I was diligent in my cultivation, it was still there. The old forces took advantage of this gap in my cultivation. In 2000 and 2001 I experienced a big tribulation. Because I had seen that others who previously seemed to be very diligent and solid were "transformed," my belief in Dafa was shaken. The old forces beat me down mentally by taking the advantage of my shortcomings, such as my inferiority and extreme self-blame. Due to the illusions created by the old forces, I thought that I had lost Dafa. I was suffering from fear and despair 24 hours a day. I had pain everywhere in my body. Also, the pain in my mind kept torturing me non-stop, like a machine that runs 24 hours a day. I felt like I didn't deserve to read the Fa, and I didn't dare to read the Fa although I knew that Dafa is good. My family members, who are also practitioners, talked to me, encouraged me, and comforted me, but I still could not wake up. At times, they could not do anything but cry for me.
However, during the pain, which was indescribable, I realized that everything Master said about virtue and karma, good and bad, etc. is true. Everything in the human world is really just illusion and imaginary. Regardless of how close my family is to me, they cannot eliminate any karma for me. Without Master's enduring and eliminating the karma, we would all have to face our boundless and numerous karma that we have created in each of our own lives, and it would be impossible for any of us to overcome this karma. A human's life and death is not the real life and death. If a life is away from Dafa and betrays Dafa, this life will face endless and boundless extreme pain and despair. This is the real death and destruction of a life, which is real and horrible.
Later in my tribulations and difficulties (including being jailed in a forced labor camp) when I experienced the miracles of Dafa and realized that Master didn't give up on me and was taking care of me, my appreciation for Master and my cherishing Dafa were beyond description. That was the renewal of my life.
I kept memorizing the Fa, and I felt incomparable happiness. I didn't experience difficulty regardless of how harsh the circumstances were. I smiled everyday and felt calm in my heart. When memorizing the Fa, I often felt Master's benevolence and had tears in my eyes.
In my view, all of the evil's tricks, persecution, and deadly threats were actually like kids playing. They were laughable and miserable. I was objectively standing outside of the play and watching the ridiculous, foolish, and evil play.
In this manner, I moved from a fear of death to gradually understanding the meaning of life and death. My human heart faded away. I realized that a cultivator's letting go of life and death is different from an everyday person's not fearing death. It is not simply accepting that one is going to die. Instead, it is the understanding of what life and death truly are after breaking through the limits and illusions in the human world. Once a cultivator lets go of life and death, he or she won't fear the death of the physical body (which, for an everyday person, is unpredictable). The reason that we cherish this physical body is because it is a means through which we can validate Dafa and save sentient beings. What Master has arranged for is to have both benti and the Immortal Infant. Our Falun Dafa is really a cultivation practice of mind and body. As Dafa disciples, we should only take the path arranged by Master; no other being can test us or arrange anything for us.
I kept looking inward for the reason for my attachment to avoiding disaster. Master told us:
"Actually, you don't yet know that this selfishness reaches all the way up to very high levels." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland")
I let go of the fear of life and death, but I needed to continue cultivating to get rid of this selfishness. The old forces are also gods, and at some point they also let go of the attachment to life and death. At the beginning of Master's spreading Dafa, in order to let people know about Dafa, Master treated illnesses for people. At that time those old forces arranged for countless, innumerable gods to instantly block where the root of the person's ailment was to obstruct Master in order to maintain the principles of the old universe. Those old forces were not afraid of death when doing this, but they were doing this based on the degenerated notions from the old universe. They were attached to their arrangements and the stuff that they didn't want to let go of. Actually, their attachments are fundamental attachments that exist on different levels, that is, self-interest. They didn't want to harmonize with what Master wants; instead, they wanted the Fa-rectification to harmonize with what they wanted and to maximally protect their own interests. Therefore, they have chosen self-elimination because they interfered with Fa-rectification.
I realized that the source of my attachment to avoiding disaster was self-interest. At the beginning of my cultivation, the manifestation of my selfishness was to seek comfort in the human world. Now the manifestation is my worry about my gains and losses in cultivation. Although the manifestations are different, the fundamental attachment is the same.
In the human world the manifestation of my self-interest was as follows. After I was released from the labor camp and back in a normal situation, my environment was relatively easy although I sometimes still felt pressure. Due to erosion caused by fame, benefit and sentiment, I slacked off without knowing it. I relaxed the requirements for myself. Although I was still doing the three things, I didn't have a heart of benevolence to save sentient beings and didn't feel a sense of urgency to do so. The pure heart of cherishing Dafa and saving lives without any complaints or other pursuits had been trapped and separated from me by the dirty stuff in the human world. I gradually lost my previously pure heart. I became "joyful or anxious over petty gains." I was satisfied with what I had done and didn't want to contribute anymore. I was attached to the end of the persecution. For a period of time, I was even hoping that the head of the CCP would end it for us.
I was attached to gain and loss in the human world, and I was attached to the gain and loss in cultivation. I feared persecution because I was afraid that I would not be able to endure the torture and lose the cultivation fruit that I had already achieved. When I was doing the three things well I would think, "Good, I am walking on the righteous path and the evil won't dare to persecute me." When I was not doing well I would have many worries, "Will evil take advantage of my gap?" It seemed that I was doing the three things to avoid persecution and disaster. It seemed that I was doing business with Master and doing the three things conditionally, just like those who thought the Buddha should protect them just because they worshiped the Buddha.
I didn't fundamentally get rid of the strong desire to avoid disaster that I had at the beginning of cultivation. It had been covered, wrapped up, and changed so that I could not detect it.
When I read the news report that said 6,000 solid practitioners in the Sujiatun concentration camp had been jailed and brutally persecuted, my desire to avoid disaster instantly reappeared. Why had they been persecuted if they were so solid? Why did Master allow this persecution to happen? Why couldn't Master protect them? Would we be persecuted like this? Would Master protect me? At the surface level, I felt sad for those practitioners. I also wondered how many sentient beings could have been saved if those 6,000 practitioners were still alive. However, deep down, I was worried about myself. I thought that I had done the three things well and saved sentient beings; thus, Master should protect me.
What I was thinking about and attached to at different levels was self-interest. I treated what I had done (which was my responsibility to do) as the condition to pursue the strongest protection in the universe. I once had doubt about this protection. I even had complaints and completely forgot about Master's benevolently saving us and what Master has endured for us. What was I thinking? How dirty was this heart? I don't even want think about it.
I now realize that Master has always been with us, watching us, and giving us guidance. Think about it. How could we make it all the way up until today without Master's protection? The question is, "Why does Master protect us?" Is Master's protection for our comfort in the human world? Is it to address our attachment to benefits in the human world? Is it for our human notions? Master hopes that we will treat ourselves as cultivators at every moment and deserve the title of "Fa-rectification Dafa disciples." Master hopes that we really treat ourselves as His disciples.
Regarding the secret concentration camps and persecution of fellow practitioners, we cannot see the complex reasons and intricate relationships behind it with our physical eyes and human hearts. Recently, many practitioners have analyzed this incident in articles on the website, and their articles are very good. However, I think that, regardless of how we analyze this incident, if we cannot let go of our human notions, how can we still cultivate? Do we have to find an answer that is satisfying and fits our human notions so that we can keep cultivating? Cultivation is unconditional. Who are we cultivating for? Aren't we cultivating for ourselves? There are no models in cultivation. We should not take what others have done as a reference for our own cultivation, and we should not take others as models for our own cultivation. What has been touched must be our own human notions and sentiment or attachments that need to be eliminated. As a cultivator, isn't the whole thing a test?
We should also understand that the concentration camp in Sujiatun has existed for a long time and that the practitioners were jailed there until their recent transfer. There must be reasons why it was exposed at the crucial moment when the evil party and the evil spirits are being disintegrated. The crimes that the evil has committed have completely destroyed any possibility for them to exist.
We should realize that, through this incident and by its consequent affect on our mental states, Dafa disciples have gotten rid of a lot of attachments and human thinking and have improved overall. If we can all maintain the status of divine beings and not feel human hatred, anger, worry, or fear, then, with this pure heart, we will be able to send forth very strong righteous thoughts to stop the persecution, rescue fellow practitioners, and disintegrate the evil. Then we will be able to bring all the evil to justice and save more sentient beings when the evil is completely eliminated.
The above is my personal understanding. Please correct me with compassion if I am wrong.
