Illness Tribulations as a Result of Unrighteous Thoughts
(Clearwisdom.net) Today I felt dizzy, uneasy, and not well. Also I had a conflict with my husband. I knew something was not right. I realized that it was the result of my xinxing problem. I must look within.
While searching for the root cause, I decided not to write up the experience sharing of my cultivation practice today. I figured I must have written too many papers about looking within. I often wrote about the good aspects of my practice. In fact, I have quite a few attachments. I wondered if I had been validating myself instead of the Fa. The main reason for my problem, I believe, is that I pay too much attention to how other people look at me.
Recently a few new practitioners whom I introduced to Dafa have experienced various tribulations. Whenever conflicts occurred, however, they did not know how to look within. Instead, they found fault in others. Sometimes I also got involved in their conflicts so I decided to stay out of their conflicts and to protect myself. "Just leave them alone. No matter how little they understand the Fa, it's their problem," I thought. Deep in my mind I just did not want to help them. In addition, I found that some practitioners became indifferent to other people and unwilling to communicate with others. It seems that they lack compassion for people.
Due to the above reasons, an unrighteous thought occurred to me. "I will just do well with truth-clarification projects and I should not be involved in other practitioners' issues." I was under the illusion that my thought was correct. I believed that without any conflicts or interference, I would be able to better concentrate on clarifying the truth and on saving more people. Now I understand why I have been suffering the headache for an extended period of time. Firstly, how could I possibly save other people if I only wanted to protect myself without being responsible for others? Is it genuine cultivation practice if I stay in an environment free of conflicts? How could I possibly improve my xinxing? How will I know whether my cultivation practice is solid if I do not experience the tribulations and the tests?
As soon as I finished writing this paper, my headache disappeared.
This is just a small piece of my experience to share with other practitioners.