(Clearwisdom.net) On the evening of July 20, 2005, I suddenly had a state of "illness." My eyes stared blankly, my head felt heavy and I could not even speak a sentence. I could not move my right arm and leg and had no feeling in them. I threw up two times in a row, lying in bed, and I could not move anymore. My head went totally blank and I forgot paragraphs from Zhuan Falun and Master's other scriptures that I was able to recite from my memory before. I even forgot the formulas for sending forth righteous thoughts and forgot the Falun Gong exercises. My family members hurriedly brought over Master's picture and asked me whether I could recognize the picture, I signaled them that I recognized the picture. My mind was clear and I knew this was persecution. My family members read Hong Yin to me and asked me whether I understood. I signaled to them that I understood. My family members then taught me to say, "Master, please save me." I could not vocalize the phrase but I said it in my mind.

My mother was very worried about me and went to look for a doctor without telling anybody. She wanted to arrange for me to be hospitalized, saying, "Beyond 12 hours will result in complications." I was anxious but I could not speak. My mother is also a Falun Gong practitioner. She believed that Falun Gong could cure illnesses and provide a person with good health, but she did not believe in Consummation. When she encountered problems she still thought as an ordinary person. She wanted me to be hospitalized and she even looked into the perpetual calendar and tried to calculate my fortune. I understood that she loved me with sincere affection and I appreciated that. There are five Falun Gong practitioners in my family. My mother wanted me to be hospitalized but the other four disagreed, so I stayed at home. All the fellow practitioners who heard about my situation sent forth righteous thoughts for me, some for two days and nights. They truly demonstrated that "his matters are my matters."

I was able to sit up on the second day and could open my eyes for a short duration. I could speak a few words each time. On the third day, I was able to walk but still my legs still felt weak. I wanted to send forth righteous thoughts together with other practitioners, but when I sat up, I could not remember the phrases for sending forth righteous thoughts. So I sat for five minutes and then lay down again. On the fourth day my eyes returned to normal, and I sat up and started to read Falun Gong books. Even though I still spoke in broken sentences, I could read Zhuan Falun. My tongue felt awkward and I had a severe headache by the time I had read halfway through a chapter. For the later paragraphs of the chapter, I had to read a sentence several times before I could remember what I had read, and it got worse as I got closer to the end of the chapter.

On the fifth day, I could read through one chapter of Zhuan Falun and my memory gradually recovered. I was able to read with accurate pronunciation and with normal feeling in my tongue. When I did the Falun Gong exercises with my family members, I finished all five sets without taking a break! When my relatives came to my home, they could not tell whether I was different from before. I answered the telephone readily and nobody could tell whether I was any different than before. I totally recovered.

Before I was persecuted, I once clarified the truth to a relative. She was a member of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and she had come back to her hometown to visit relatives. I talked to her a lot. She said, "Your Falun Gong has started becoming political. I would have forgotten if you did not mention it that I have not paid my party dues for several years. Now I want to make up the dues and I also want to write an application to re-join the party." I said, "I am telling you this for your own good." She said, "You are allowed to say that Falun Gong is good, but I am not allowed to say that the CCP is good?! I do not believe in Falun Gong." She called out Master's name without any respect. I said, "What choice you make is your own business. But you should not speak this way, because you may receive retribution." She said, "I am not scared of retribution!" She then mentioned Master's name and said, "You can let him give me any retribution. I don't believe in this." About a week later, she fell and was badly injured. Her breastbone bulged and became distorted, and she had several scars on her face. She then recalled our conversation and willingly resigned from the CCP. She also thanked me repeatedly. After she learned about the persecution I had suffered and experienced her retribution, this relative stopped opposing Falun Gong from then on.

My mother also witnessed the whole process of the two events and she improved in her understanding. She also started going out to tell people the facts about Falun Gong. But as soon as she started going out, those evil spirits and rotten ghosts started persecuting her, taking advantage of her attachments. She had the same state of "illness" as I did: she threw up three times and her limbs stopped functioning normally. But she could still talk with a clear consciousness and was not as severely ill as I was. But at that moment, she had other thoughts and tried to use ordinary people's ways to cure her "illness." Within half an hour she passed away.

From my mother's death, I became aware of how a difference in thought can be the difference between life and death and the difference between an ordinary person and a god as in the section, "Your Mind Must be Right" (Zhuan Falun). When it is close to the end, those evil spirits and rotten ghosts see their own end approaching. They are desperate and take any chance they can get to persecute practitioners. We must walk the righteous path of Fa-rectification, steadfastly do the three things well, totally reject the arrangement of the old forces, eliminate the evil completely, and not give the evil any chances to persecute us. We also must be vigilant, for the evil may take an indirect path to persecute us. The evil failed to persecute me directly and they then worked on my mother. They ruined her and created significant difficulties for me. They wanted to ruin me through this indirect path. However, I will not be deceived by them and I will not let the evil take advantage of the attachment to family affections again.

Master said,

"And so it is that when circumstances ease up, one is prone to becoming lax; when the pressure lets up it leads a person to feel relaxed and not make every minute count as before. But that's not acceptable. The fact is, you are cultivators, and you can't afford to cease being diligent no matter what kind of circumstances you encounter. The more relaxed or comfortable things get, in fact, the more serious is the test you face." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005")

Through learning the Fa, I realized that the evil had taken advantage of the fact that I was not diligent; my mentality of pursuing ease and comfort was too strong. When the environment got easier, I was more relaxed. I have keenly regretted my lack of diligence. I will diligently cultivate myself and keep up with the process of Fa-rectification.

"It has been said: 'When I come to this ordinary human society, it's just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes." (Zhuan Falun from the 2000 translation version)

These words suddenly awakened me!