Human Form - A God's State
From the Third Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings revered Master. Greetings fellow practitioners.
I would like to discuss my experience and understanding on how I validated the Fa using my technological knowledge during this period of time. We must not neglect our own cultivation and Fa study while handling technical issues. When equipment malfunctions, let's not neglect sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference and rectify the various beings inside the machine, nor neglect looking within ourselves. If we overlook cultivation and merely seek technical solutions, then often the equipment problem will become worse the more we try to repair it, and we may waste a lot of time. Another thing is that in pressing situations or if technically challenged, we must not forget to ask for Master's help.
Because I had not let go of my attachments, I was interfered with and persecuted, therefore fellow practitioners and other sentient beings were impacted.
Master stated in "Touring North America to Teach the Fa,"
"Then perhaps many beings won't be saved because you didn't cultivate well--it's because you haven't cultivated well that they can't become good. Your not getting rid of a lot of attachments interferes with them, and they, in turn, are also interfering with you."
"But if you don't cultivate well, many beings will be weeded out since we can't not weed out beings who are no longer salvageable. Why is that? During this persecution, beings in different dimensions are all playing a role, whether they're good beings or bad beings. The bad beings are interfering with the Fa-rectification, persecuting our students, and at the same time they're interfering with you. So you must eliminate them with utter seriousness."
I had a deeper understanding of this section of Master's Fa after encountering a number of tribulations and hardships validating the Fa recently, especially in validating the Fa utilizing my technological skills.
(1) Our own state of cultivation caused the machine's malfunction.
As soon as I saw the submission request for articles for the Third Annual Dafa Practitioners Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference, I wanted to write my story, but more than twenty days passed and I just could not squeeze in time to write because I spent so much time fixing machines. Each time I decided to write, some machines would break down. I would go to check and found that it was a problem with the toner cartridge. Before I even finished fixing the toner cartridge, the toner supply system broke down. On the way home one evening I felt a lot of resentment. How could there be so much interference? It would take two more days to fix the new problem. I thought to myself, twice now I had to stop writing my story half way through. I wouldn't let it happen again this time. After I fixed the printer this time, I would not fix anyone else's printers for a few days until I finished writing my story. After I got home I did not feel right. How could I have so much resentment for such a small issue?
The next day someone came to me in a great hurry, telling me that his computer had broken down during this period of urgent materials production. I had to go. I was calmer this time, and calmed down to search within, realizing that all incidents were aiming at my attachments. First of all, I had recently tried to get each information distribution center to be self sufficient for simple maintenance tasks, and be independent in their operations. But the practitioners did not enthusiastically embrace it, and I became impatient. Perhaps I was too attached to it. Secondly, I noticed my own selfishness through yesterday's incident. I was always too self-centered when dealing with problems. I felt I had already contributed so much, and people took too much of my time and interfered with my plans. I resented that. But after all, it was my own prehistoric solemn vow that I must accomplish all tasks well to validate the Fa. It was my own vow to do this, so Master arranged it accordingly. It was my own negligence in studying the Fa and cultivating myself that caused such big resentment and disequilibrium. How could I validate the Fa well with such serious attachments? How could I achieve consummation?
The biggest obstacle to saving sentient beings in the old cosmos is selfishness. The old cosmos' sentient beings' mindsets were based on selfishness. During the process of assimilating to the new cosmos' standard of altruism, our selfishness would manifest itself at various levels. This selfishness would also give rise to many other attachments. As a practitioner, we must let go of everything. After understanding this principle, I no longer have any resentment. I know it was my poor cultivation state that interfered with fellow practitioners. I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate all dark minions and rotten ghosts who tried to interfere with truth-clarification materials production, I also communicated with a printer, wishing it to assimilate to Dafa and resist the evil. I felt that the machine would not have too big a problem. After I got there, the machine was indeed working fine. The people there also found it odd.
In such a relatively isolated environments of the information distribution points, a well-adjusted mental state, righteous thoughts, a responsible attitude to the Fa, and tacit understanding and cooperation among fellow practitioners are extremely important. Yet all these stem from a solid foundation of Fa study, and an unshakable faith in Master and the Fa. If we could not handle it well based on the Fa, we could easily get mired in conflicts and bicker as ordinary people, thereby adversely impacting our efforts to validate the Fa.
In 2001 there were very few information distribution points in our area. Both the area of distribution and the quantities needed were considerable. Several practitioners and I shouldered the excessive workload for a long time, and our Fa study and exercise practice suffered as a result. There were lots of conflicts among us. In the beginning I could work fairly well with another practitioner because the other practitioner had very good xinxing. Then another practitioner replaced the first one. We both had some experience in the technical area. We both had bad jealousy and were very egotistical. We bickered over nothing (such as what font to use for the truth clarifying flyers, which practitioners' experience sharing articles to select, etc.). Once we even got into a heated argument. We did not look within when facing conflicts and arguments, and instead felt resentful and aggrieved.
Later, the printers malfunctioned. Still neither of us enlightened to it, and insisted on our own points of view. In fact neither of us knew about repair techniques, yet we both thought we were more knowledgeable than the other person. It ended up that we made the situation even worse, and we had no idea what to do next. It was much too risky to send such a large printer out for repair. It would not be prudent for the repair technician to come to the house since we had a lot of paper and information. This was a bitter lesson for me.
Reflecting back on our efforts to validate the Fa in the last few years, many practitioners who worked on technical issues fell after they were illegally arrested and could not endure the various tests. Some even did things that supported the persecution. What were the reasons? Were they incompetent in their technical work? No, it was because in their efforts to validate the Fa they spent all their energy on the technical wherewithal, and ignored raising their levels by solidly studying the Fa and cultivating themselves. They were strongly attached to accomplishing things, and treated validating the Fa as ordinary people's work. This is a painful lesson. I neglected to study the Fa and cultivate myself. I did not search within but always tried to pick on others' shortcomings when facing conflicts and arguments among fellow practitioners. My omissions brought severe problems for myself and hardships for fellow practitioners, and caused damage to Dafa.
(2) Tribulations resulting from my lack of trust in fellow practitioners and my attachment to technical issues.
A few years ago local information distribution points blossomed all over the place. I was so busy day and night, and I had very little time to study the Fa because my attachment to accomplishment was so overwhelming. I could not break through the limitations in the technical realm. I did not clearly understand the place of technical ability based on the Fa. I did not pay attention to rectifying my every single thought. The evil exploited many of my omissions and caused a lot of damage to Dafa and fellow practitioners. Here is one example.
In August 2005 I went back to my work unit to ask for my job back. Unexpectedly my work unit conspired with the Public Security and arrested me and took me to a labor camp on the spot. They sentenced me to two years forced labor. I demanded to know what the charge was. They took out the labor re-education tickets to show me that there were five "transformed" practitioners who confessed and implicated me. Four of them learned how to use a computer through me. I knew they had exposed me to the police, one of them even shamelessly told me to hide for a little while.
I thought about it. If there was no omission on my part, could they have exposed me to the police? I could understand them, and not blame them. But I did not examine what the root cause of my problem was. If I did not resolve the basic issues they would form an obstacle to my effort to validate the Fa. I felt that I gave so much to build up information distribution points. I taught them how to use computers with lots of handholding (some did not even know the English alphabet), yet they treated me like this. Sometimes I felt so aggrieved and resentful. I kept on re-examining this issue - exactly what was my omission?
(3) I did not treat fellow practitioners with righteous thoughts.
Subconsciously I did not quite trust these few practitioners, I always seemed to have doubts as to whether they could maintain their xinxing when they had to pass another test. Some of them had been arrested and "transformed" more than once, so I always had reservations and fear when I taught them about the computer. But in order for sentient beings and fellow practitioners in the area to be able to read the truth clarifying information, I did it in earnest. Now I could see my intolerance and selfishness. I never quite got over emotionally what they had done. Subconsciously, I had concerns about my own safety even before anything happened, instead of truly treating saving sentient beings as my mission when doing Fa validation work. I never gave much thought to fellow practitioners' elevating their cultivation levels, nor to treating their previous wrongdoings with righteous thoughts. This is such a big omission.
(4) Being too attached to teaching the technical know-how, and neglecting xinxing elevation.
A few years ago we had very few technical support practitioners, and very few practitioners had the courage to set up information distribution points. I was attached to technical matters, emphasizing material quality, and insisting on safety. I never considered from the information distribution center's perspective the xinxing level and the prerequisite needed for practitioners to work at the information distribution points. I did not pay close attention to Fa study and cultivation. Many practitioners at other information distribution centers were also like me. Often we were attached to accomplishing things when we were working on the information materials, and we were so wrapped up with the self and attached to validating ourselves that we neglected Fa study and cultivating ourselves. Subconsciously we treated doing tasks as cultivation. Later we started discussing the issue of Fa study, but many of us still failed to treat it seriously. We failed to recognize that we should pay closer attention to Fa study and cultivation when we were involved with work at the information distribution center. Many practitioners unwittingly praised those practitioners who were involved with multiple projects, thinking that they were very diligent in cultivation. This actually reinforced some practitioners' misunderstandings. A few practitioners did not cultivate well, and not only failed to pass the tests themselves, but also divulged information about the distribution centers and other practitioners, and brought serious damage to Dafa.
Everything in our cultivation comes from the Fa, and only Dafa can unlock practitioners' wisdom, enabling us to raise our levels and ascend in our cultivation. Practitioners must raise their xinxing levels and realms constantly, and only then can their technological skills advance and mature, and can they better validate Dafa and rectify the lives of malfunctioning machinery by cleaning out all corresponding factors in other dimensions. Only then can they carry out Fa validation tasks in a god's state using the human form.
(5) Sentient beings changed for the worse because I did not let go of my attachment
My purpose in cultivating in Dafa was to escape from mental, familial and physical agony. That was my fundamental attachment. For the past few years I did not realize that this basic attachment created a mentality of escapism. This mentality of escapism allowed the old forces to exploit my omission, resulting in the breakup of my family.
In 2002 I faltered in the brainwashing class. I signed the three statements. I knew I did wrong even before I was released, so I verbally declared that the statements I signed were null and void. After I got out of the class, my husband insisted that I could not practice Falun Gong and study the Fa at home. I did not clarify the truth with the compassion of a practitioner to save him. Instead, I bargained with him from the standpoint of myself that he must allow me to study the Fa and practice the exercises at home, otherwise I would leave home and go out of town. He countered by saying that he would get a divorce if I left home. I thought at that time, "If I do not have the proper environment to study the Fa and practice the exercises, how can I raise my level?" Master stated in Zhuan Falun,
"Accordingly, in your future cultivation practice you will run into all kinds of tribulations. How can you practice cultivation without these hardships? If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interests or interference from the human mind, how can your xinxing make progress by your only sitting there? That is impossible. One must truly temper and upgrade oneself through actual practice."
In fact, Master is really providing an environment for me to cultivate. Because I did not study the Fa well enough I did not catch on to it, and I used my human notions to look at the situation. I thought that my husband was treating me unfairly, so I left home and went out of town (escaping to avoid the conflict). I did not remember what Master said,
"How can it work if a person views high-level things with the standard of everyday people? Therefore, a lot of these cases often take place when people regard their suffering in life as being unfair. Many people drop down this way." (Zhuan Falun)Not long after I left home I was arrested at an information distribution point. The personal reason was that I had the strong attachment of fear since I got out of the brainwashing class. The evil exploited my omission and intensified the persecution. I was very weak, having held a hunger strike for more than 40 days before I was released. My dad and my sister took me to my parent's home. After I got home my sister told me that my mom nailed Master's photo on the door after I was abducted. I was shocked, how could mom do such a thing? How much karma did she create? Later through my clarifying the truth to her, she started doing the five sets of Falun Gong exercises. Her severe cervical spondylitis ameliorated even before she learned all the exercises.
Before I even had a chance to return to my own home, my husband went ahead on his own with preparations to divorce me and to get remarried. He called me on the phone, "If you stop practicing Falun Gong now we will still be one family." Yet I did not know how to mend the pen after a sheep was lost, and to search within to find my omission. Rather, I acted like an ordinary people's "hero" upholding certain religious formalities, and told my husband, "Don't you use divorce to scare me. That won't work." I even felt that I had strong righteous thoughts and was resolute in my faith in the Fa. Actually, I did not follow the requirements of the Fa. I was not rational, and I forgot that I came to save sentient beings. I did not act with great compassion and forbearance. I shouldn't have stooped to his level and haggled with him. I should instead have saved him with a heart of great compassion and forbearance, eliminated the evil factors behind him, and clarified the truth to him patiently. My thinking at that time was to follow the course of nature. Now I can see that I was not willing to face the conflict. Later my husband not only went through with the divorce by himself without my presence, he illegally transferred the ownership of our house from mine to his.
(6) Since I did not quite transcend the individual self-cultivation state, my efforts on various projects was not based on saving sentient beings. Consequently, I did not have the compassion it takes. Whenever I failed to recognize it, my human notions would be mixed in.
When I went to ask for my job back last year, my work unit ganged up with the police and sent me to the labor camp. When I reflected on this, I realized that my motivation at the time was not based on saving sentient beings. The purpose was for my own cultivation. That was why I suffered such a severe setback.
(7) There was an incident at the labor camp. According to the regulations, no long hair was allowed. They tried to cut my hair as soon as I was taken there. At that time I was adamant that my hair should not be cut since I was not a criminal. I did everything to resist whenever anyone tried to cut my hair. So it remained uncut, and everyone would always said that I was the only one with long hair in the labor camp. Without realizing it, my strong attachments to elation and showing off loomed. If I got out of the labor camp with my long hair intact everyone would be surprised and admire me. I even started thinking about what kind of hairstyle I should wear when I got out of the labor camp. Suddenly one day (about twenty days before I was released), they came and asked me to get out of my bed to exercise. I did not know what tricks they had up their sleeves, but I refused to oblige. Without any explanation, they held me down on my bed and started cutting my hair, leaving it in a mess. Later I found out it was one of the brigade leaders, whom I thought was treating Dafa practitioners better than others, who proposed to the labor camp administrators to have my hair cut. My attachment, to a certain extent, resulted in the old forces manipulating the brigade leader to turn bad. Those inmates who cut my hair also sinned just like the brigade leader.
From these lessons I know that the old forces regard our individual cultivation as most important, and use that as an excuse to exploit the omissions in our xinxing. They constantly set up tribulations and obstacles to make me stumble, and only allowed me to discover the numerous attachments I had so as to be mired in the state of individual cultivation, ignoring the more profound connotations of Fa rectification cultivation. Then when I encountered something, I forgot that I was a Dafa practitioner in the Fa Rectification period. We need to consider issues from the perspective of Fa Rectification and on the basis of saving sentient beings, and not be trapped in the framework of individual cultivation. The meanings of Fa Rectification cultivation and individual cultivation are totally different.
I now realize the importance of Fa study, sending forth righteous thoughts, and cultivating oneself. Furthermore, we need to study the Fa with a tranquil mind every day, and cultivate based on the Fa, otherwise we cannot advance if we do not cultivate based on the Fa. The Fa principles that you understand today may not be able to guide you tomorrow because different levels have different Fa. You must continue to study the Fa and raise your level in order to ascend. You will know what to do when you encounter tribulations, and your xinxing will elevate. Without high-level Fa providing the guidance, you would not be able to overcome this test.
"Every test or every tribulation is related to the matter of either progression or regression in cultivation. It is already difficult, yet still you add this self-imposed tribulation. How can you overcome it? You might come across hardships or troubles as a result of it." (Zhuan Falun)
Therefore we must use the Fa to continuously renew and cleanse ourselves.
The old forces' evil factors are closely watching our every thought and idea. Isn't the biggest excuse they use to persecute us our own omissions? If we do not pay close attention to our own cultivation, our slacking off in our thinking and not treating cultivation with the utmost seriousness are all excuses the old forces use to persecute us. If we do not treat this in all seriousness, transform ourselves fundamentally, and completely repudiate the arrangements of the old forces, then it will be extremely difficult to get out of the difficult predicament.
(8) Miracles happen when you believe in Master and the Fa
One time when I went to visit a practitioner, the printer stopped working when I got there. She said, "It was working fine before you came. As soon as you told me you were coming the machine broke down." I then thought to myself, "I must look within." However, I looked but could not find where I had stumbled. So I decided to fix the printer first. But I had never fixed that kind of machine before. How could I find out the problem? How to repair it? I was stuck. Out of desperation I prayed in my heart, "Master, would you please help me. I do not know how to repair it." So I thought first of all the things I needed to disassemble the printer. Even though I was holding a screwdriver in my hand, I could not find a single screw. Somehow I suddenly saw two little arrows. I pried the case open after I inserted the screwdriver at the spot where the arrows were pointing. After the case was opened I still did not know how to proceed. I thought to myself that I should start from "here," and the next step could be "there." I was able to completely disassemble and put back together the printer. It took a whole day. I then tested it, and everything worked fine. At that instant tears ran down my face, as I could feel that everything was done by Master. I was so moved and sighed, "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun) I was just like that screwdriver, and functioned as a tool. I thought to myself, I had always been so attached to myself, I always thought I was better than others technically. Without realizing it, I had nurtured my attachment. I did not realize it even after I lectured others on it. Now I understand, because I have the wish, Master helps me to accomplish everything that I need on the path of cultivation using technical skills to validate the Fa.
I remember at the work unit, the printer used by our project team ran out of toner. The printer was idle and could not be used for a whole year. I did not know how to fill the toner. But when I was involved with Dafa projects, even though no one taught me, after I purchased the first laser printer, I knew how to remove the toner drum, fill the toner and fix various minor problems. Even the large all-in-one printers of various models could be dealt with similarly. Yet all of this far exceeded my capabilities, because I had never been taught how to do it. From this one area I can attest to Master's statement in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,"
"And don't get conceited because of your roles, and don't think you're different from others. You're each a particle. And in my eyes nobody is better than anyone else, since I scooped all of you up at the same time. (Applause) Some are more capable when it comes to one thing, others with another--you definitely shouldn't let your thoughts run wild based on that. You say that you have such great abilities and so on and so forth, but that was all bestowed upon you by the Fa! Actually, it wouldn't work if you failed to attain that level of abilities. Fa-rectification required your wisdom to reach that point, so you definitely shouldn't think that you're so capable. Some practitioners want me to check out their abilities and skills. But actually, what I think is, all of that was given by me, so there's no need to look."
While writing this article during the past few days, I suddenly found attachments that I never thought I had, and realized Fa principles that never understood. I could feel my level elevating at the same time. It is not important whether my article is published or not. Through writing this article I reflected on and summed up the progress of my cultivation during this period of time, and I identified my shortcomings and deficiencies as compared with fellow practitioners.