On My Way Back Home
Part 1 Background
I came down with hepatitis B in 1988. Western medicine couldn't cure me, so I relied on Chinese herbal medications in the hope that it would make a difference in improving my health. However, I suffered side effects, and developed stomach disorders. My health went downhill from then on. At that time, qigong was quite popular in society, so my doctor recommended that I try qigong. I knew nothing about qigong, nor did I believe in qigong. However, as I had no other alternative, I gave it a try. In 1990 or 1991, I began to practice qigong. Marvelous and unimaginable phenomena made itself known to me within a short time. For example, I saw clearly in a dream how I came into this world and how I left it. I saw a doctor who held my liver in his hand and asked me to touch it. He said that I did not have liver cirrhosis. Then he pulled a blade of grass from the liver, explaining that this grass was the reason for my hepatitis. If the grass was removed, I would no longer suffer from hepatitis. I dreamed for several nights in a row that people were treating my illnesses. My body felt light and movements came easy. My thoughts were fast and clear. I was told that I had two mothers. One was the one who gave birth to me on this earth, and the other was my mother in heaven. All these strange things surprised, puzzled and excited me.
It seemed a Master was helping, teaching and looking after me in another dimension. I understood for the first time in my life that man could enjoy such a wonderful, supernormal and spiritual state of existence. I realized that man could live in such a healthy and sensible way. How wonderful it would be if I could live like this forever. However nothing is permanent. I lived in this blissful state for only a few months before it disappeared. I called for my Master thousands of time. I longed for him to come back and respond to me as before, but he did not reappear. That is when I began my search for a Master to guide me. I wanted to find someone who could help me find my Master, and achieve that wonderful state again. During the following years, I learned several different qigong and martial arts practices. None was what I was searching for. I felt disappointed and my health deteriorated again. In 1995, I was admitted to a hospital and spent more than 20,000 yuan in 105 days. Yet, my jaundiced look and other symptoms got worse instead of better. Some had gotten worse than they ever were before. I was admitted to a hospital, and I was so weak that I couldn't even hold a bowl. I decided to give up treatments, return home and wait for whatever was in store for me.
In 1996, a friend of mine heard that Falun Gong was very good in treating illnesses. He immediately recommended it to me. I had lost interest in qigong, and I had no confidence in being cured. I was very pessimistic. However, Falun Gong had made an impression on me before, as I had seen the Falun Gong booth during the 1993 "Oriental Health Expo." I saw many people line up for treatments, and I approached the booth to see whether there was anyone who taught qigong. I wasn't looking to be treated. I only wanted to find a good qigong so that I could return to that wonderful state. However, I was dragged away by my friend before I found out anything.
Because of the impression I had of Falun Gong and recognizing my friends wish to help me, I didn't have the heart to refuse. I decided to buy the book Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Gong, and have a look. I couldn't put the book down. I began reading the morning after I bought the book. I cried while reading. I finished the entire book in one night. Many years' puzzles were all answered. I found my Master. I had found my way back home. For several days my entire being was deeply bathed in boundless happiness and joy. There was nothing in my mind except Zhuan Falun. I only remembered my issue of sickness when my friend called me and asked about my health. I realized that the concept of sickness in my mind had completely gone. Looking at myself, I found that all my symptoms had disappeared. The jaundiced condition I suffered for ten months had also disappeared. I changed from an invalid suffering from hepatocirrhosis [liver disease] into a healthy person. This appeared to have happened in an instant. My hepatitis was gone forever.
Part 2 Effects of Falun Gong
I often recall when I first began to cultivate. At that time, I experienced tremendous changes in body and mind, and the changes in my xinxing were even greater. At the mid-autumn festival in 1995, my husband received several boxes of moon cakes from his workplace. He could not return them. So we kept the cakes, but decided to donate 500 yuan to our practice site. However, the practice site didn't accept donations. So, we decided to donate the money to the Hope Project to help poor children who were too poor to go to school. At that time everyone's salary was very low and no one would spend 500 yuan on moon cakes. We remembered the Fa-principle "no loss, no gain" in Master's book Zhuan Falun. We knew that a cultivator must behave according to Master's teachings. We didn't hesitate. On our way to the bank to donate the money, my face was bathed in tears. I was deeply touched in my heart. I knew instinctively that this feeling arose from the knowledge that I was within the Fa. I was being changed, molded, purified and elevated by Dafa. I was deeply touched by Dafa's power and Master's merciful salvation.
All practitioners at our practice site practiced the exercises and cultivated our "xinxing" very diligently. Many practitioners encountered tests related to money. Some found money on the ground, some received extra money during check-out at the store, some lost money, and so on. The situations were different, but the purpose was the same -- letting go of the attachment to money. It might just have been an insignificant amount, but I always remember them. Falun Gong practitioners are assimilating into Dafa through these insignificant incidences. Practitioners are working on becoming better people, and be true cultivators.
Once, several hundred practitioners from several practice sites gathered to do the exercises. The minute the music began, it suddenly became quiet. The traffic noise and shouting by people disappeared. It became so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Only the exercise music filled the entire dimension. I couldn't hold back my tears. After we finished the four sets of exercises, I noticed that many peoples faces were bathed in tears. They all commented that the feeling was just so wonderful. Later, a young practitioner who worked at a restaurant and who had just started practicing talked about her experience. She said that as soon as the music played, all practitioners appeared in front of her eyes. She saw a huge dragon hovering above the practice side, and then lying on the ground amongst us. A huge red flower also could be seen in the air, illuminating the entire site. Everyone who heard her sharing gasped in admiration about Dafa's wonder, and became determined to cultivate diligently.
That was an extremely wonderful time. Everyone studied the Fa, practiced the exercises together, and encouraged one another. We progressed together.
Part 3 The Beginning of the Persecution
On the night of April 24, 1999, after studying the Fa as a group, we talked about the recent arrest of Tianjin practitioners [an event marking the beginning of the persecution of Falun Gong]. The local officials couldn't deal with this issue and asked practitioners to go the central government. So some practitioners went to Beijing. Practitioners were having different understandings about this issue. Everyone participated earnestly in the discussion. However, my mind seemed empty. I couldn't think about anything. In the early morning of the following day, I went to the petition office immediately after I got up.
When I arrived at Fuyoujie at 7:00 a. m., many practitioners from other provinces were already there. We quietly stood on the street and read our Dafa books. There were many policemen standing in the middle of the street, facing the practitioners as if we were their deadly enemy. Several vehicles were running back and forth to film the scene. However, practitioners who stood in the front row did not retreat. As time passed, the peacefulness and order of Falun Gong practitioners made an impression on the police. They gradually eased up. Some even talked to practitioners.
Rain was forecast that day. However, it didn't rain. It was neither too hot, nor too cold. A practitioner among us held her ten-month-old baby. The baby neither cried nor created any trouble. It always smiled and was happy no matter who held it. It waited as quietly as the adults. Everyone commented as to what a lovely baby it was.
In the afternoon, I left for lunch with two practitioners. When we returned, our space was taken by others. I saw there was still space beside a gate. There were very few people at that spot. So, I stood there, and another practitioner joined me. After a while, a young man said to me, "You should stand on the other side." I didn't understand and looked around. The man laughed and said, "Falun Gong people are all standing on the other side." I suddenly realized that I had been standing among the plainclothes police.
At about 9:30 p.m., after learning that the arrested practitioners in Tianjin had been released, we left quickly.
The scene of so many practitioners safeguarding Dafa was magnificent and moving. However, I felt it was what I was meant to do and didn't cost me anything. I didn't realize how important a test it was for a cultivator until Teacher published his article, "Position." Every practitioner was faced with many issues, such as how to cultivate, whether one could cultivate, whether one could really follow Master, and so on. All these issues were heart-rending. I was very grateful that I had been able to walk this step well. At the same time, I also saw where I had fallen short in my cultivation.
On July 20, 1999, I heard that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was going to "determine the character" of Falun Gong. On the morning of July 21, 1999, we went to our practice site to do the exercises. That was also the last group exercise we ever had. We focused our attention on the music only, ignoring people and vehicles passing by (later practitioners told us that police had taken photos of us). When doing the meditation, I felt that my legs were as soft as cotton. It was as if they did not exist. I felt extremely comfortable sitting there. When I asked others, everyone said that they had the same feeling. We knew that this was Master hinting his approval of our action. After finishing the exercises, we went to the petition office one after the other, to appeal for justice for Falun Gong.
I was not sure when it began to thunder that afternoon. The thunder was very strange. It didn't come from the sky, nor did the thunder claps come one by one. Instead, it sounded like it came from the earth, circling around Beijing continuously, depressed, yet loudly. It thundered a very long time. On the following day, the newspaper called it "thunder rolling over the earth."
On July 22, 1999, we returned to the petition office to appeal for Falun Gong. We were stopped by police and taken to a place at Xinhumen. A policeman in his fifties took the book Hong Yin from my bag and put it under his armpit. I took the book back. The policeman became upset and snatched the book again. He used one hand to hold my arms, and another to grasp my neck. Another policeman also came over and got hold of me. They pushed me into a bus parked near the road. I had never been insulted like this in all my life. I felt extremely angry. The bus was already full of practitioners. After I was pushed into the bus, several practitioners stood up and gave their seats to me. I thanked them and refused, standing beside the door with a gloomy face.
I heard practitioners around me say that many practitioners came from other cities. Some of them were stopped and beaten by local police before they could leave for Beijing. However, they still managed to come to Beijing. When hearing their words and looking at the calm and determined faces of practitioners, I felt ashamed. At a sacred time to safeguard Dafa, I was feeling wronged because my dignity had been hurt. How huge was the gap between me and other practitioners! Eventually, I calmed down. We were taken to a place where there were many armed soldiers and police. I felt shocked and heavy-hearted. I knew I was facing the test of life and death. I thought to myself, "I won't give up Dafa no matter what, as Dafa is my life."
In October 2000, I was illegally arrested for distributing truth-clarification materials. I remembered that the headline of the flyer was "Jiang Zemin must be held responsible for the persecution of Falun Gong." It seemed that this was the first time that Jiang Zemin's name was mentioned. I felt a little bit puzzled, fearing that it would be too sensitive for people to accept. However, I was very clear that if the Clearwisdom website had singled him out, it was because the Fa-rectification had come to this stage, and we just needed to follow. If I had doubt in my mind, that was my own problem. It was because I still had human notions.
Perhaps because I had notions, after my arrest, the police always said to me, "You are a party member, you should act in line with the CCP," and so on. When the evil party began to persecute Falun Gong in 1999, a practitioner said, "The CCP is the real evil cult." Although I felt what she said was reasonable, I still found it was hard to fully accept such a thought. However, something within me responded to this thought. I realized that from the day I began to practice Falun Gong, I had become a believer. I had chosen a different way from the atheist CCP in terms of belief. As soon as it began to persecute Falun Gong, I had chosen Falun Gong without hesitating. However, I still felt uncomfortable when people said bad things about the CCP. Therefore, whenever I tried to clarify the truth to the police, I always stumbled over issues such as "keeping in line with the party, party nature, party's discipline, party's history," and so on. I couldn't avoid this. I couldn't make myself clear no matter how hard I tried. It seemed that I always lacked confidence. From all this I realized that all the notions I had formed from the CCP education had become a huge obstacle to my cultivation. Over the next several years, I studied the Fa diligently, clearing away and discarding my notions. Gradually, I didn't feel uncomfortable at the mention of the so-called "party nature, party discipline, keeping in line with the party," and so on. I moved mentally away from such thoughts and within time I began to feel that they had nothing to do with me. What I needed to do was cultivate, purify myself by Master's requirements. In July 2004, I seized an opportunity and officially resigned from the party.
In the detention center, I met many practitioners who had been arrested many times. I was deeply moved by their Fa-safeguarding experiences. There were three practitioners in our cell who were arrested together, including a mother and daughter. The mother and daughter had been arrested three times. Every time they were detained separately. This time they both went on a hunger strike, but in different cells. I asked the mother, "Are you worried about your daughter?" She said calmly, "No, Teacher has given the best to her. What can I give her?" Tears flooded my face. This was the greatest, wisest, and most loving mother in the world. From then on I often said to people, "If you really love your children, tell them that 'Falun Dafa is good,' If you really love your parents, tell them that 'Falun Dafa is good.'"
Initially, I was a very timid and introvert person. However, just as Teacher said,
"You should know that once a person learns the truth and the real meaning of life, he will not regret giving up his life for it." ("Some Thoughts of Mine" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
During the nine days of my detention, I not once held any fear. I never thought about the time of my release, nor did I hold any emotional attachments to family. Although the policeman who interrogated me said that I would be taken to a labor camp, I wasn't frightened. I only wanted to listen to other practitioners' experiences and find out where I had fallen short so that I could do better in the future when following Teacher on the Fa-rectification path. My heart was pure, harmonious and peaceful. I was greatly surprised by my own changes. I couldn't help feeling how great and wonderful Dafa was.
After I was released, I didn't recognize my own home. I checked the unit number again. I was convinced that I was at the right place. After entering, I still felt this was a strange place. Great changes had taken place in my heart and mind during these few days. Later I heard the song, "Song of (the word) One." The author expressed so well what I had felt while detained: "One Master, One Dafa, and One hundred million disciples. One lifetime (to read the) one book. One test, one tribulation (means) one new level of heaven. One faith, one thought, that is the one way back home."
Part 4 Letting Go of Attachments
Cultivation is most serious. One must always maintain one's xinxing and righteous thoughts. It is easier said than done, it is the process of cultivation. After I was released, I suddenly lost the calm state I had in the detention center. I was hit with "post traumatic stress disorder." My heart would beat rapidly as soon as I heard police sirens. I could hardly breathe at times and it was as if a formless pressure was pressing down on me. I knew that this happened because I had slacked off after my environment had changed. At the same time, it was also because bad substances were eliminated layer after layer during our cultivation. I studied the Fa diligently and did well what a Dafa disciple should. Although I had managed to rectify myself very quickly, there was still regret. In the detention center, the policeman who interrogated me held my glasses in his hand and said, "Your glasses are mine now." He repeated it five or six times. However, I didn't understand. The glasses were not returned to me when I was released. I thought to myself, I won't wear glasses as I don't have them. However, I was afraid that I wouldn't see that I was followed without glasses. Therefore, I bought another pair. Later, I realized that this was perhaps an opportunity offered by Teacher for me to upgrade my xinxing and eliminate my karma. I had lost this opportunity because of my fear. Every opportunity was not easy to arrange. There are painstaking efforts by Teacher in arranging such opportunities, however, I didn't cherish the opportunity because of my fear. I felt very bad for having let Teacher down.
After being released from the detention center, I encountered another problem. A red rash appeared all over my body and itched like crazy. In the beginning, I thought that it was because I had been detained with prostitutes and drug addicts, and it was very unsanitary there. However the rash didnt disappear after some time. Then I reasoned that I had been wrong and the rash was because of karma. I should try to forbear. I was very busy producing "truth-clarification" materials, sitting in front of the computer for more than ten hours daily. I often went to bed as late as one or two o'clock in the morning. I was too busy to notice the itch when I worked. However, as soon as I was in bed, the rash itched like crazy. I couldn't help scratching during the entire night. I slept in fits and bounds. After I got up, there was blood everywhere on the bed sheet and quilt. I still suffered from the rash after several months. The red rash had disappeared and reappeared over parts of my body. Why couldn't the rash be entirely eliminated? I thought perhaps I had misunderstood its cause. I looked within but still failed to find any xinxing problems. I thought it must be another form of persecution and interference from the evil. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it, but it kept reappearing. I was deeply troubled, but didn't know what to do. I just couldn't find the cause.
A practitioner reminded me, "You'll form another attachment if you keep on like this." I agreed. I thought that as this state had lasted too long, I should just let it be. I just didn't believe that I couldn't be tougher than that. Thus, it took me eighteen months to get over this tribulation. The rash had passed, however I didn't really pass the test, nor did my xinxing improve. When studying Teacher's "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006," I understood something that Teacher said,
"Even though it's hard, those are tests that they must overcome. When you are able to think correctly on the matter, keep the difficulty in the right perspective, and make it through the right way, you will have overcome that test, your level will have been raised, your realm will have elevated, and your gong will have risen, right? Isn't this how the entire process of Fa-rectification cultivation works?"
Recently, I gained a very deep understanding of the word "right" in the above sentence "make it through the right way." It was just like when I was in the tribulation, I suffered a lot and was really anguished. But I didn't make it through the right way. I didn't realize what my problem was from the viewpoint of Dafa. My level wasn't raised. Suffering hardships in cultivation is not enough. What's important is whether one can make it through the right way in the process and upgrade one's xinxing.
In 2001, the evil adopted a new form to persecute Dafa disciples: brainwashing centers. This has caused uneasiness among practitioners. Some veteran students, even some assistants, who were regarded as being very diligent, and who had stayed very steadfast after being arrested many times and badly beaten, were "transformed" in these brainwashing centers. After being "transformed," they helped the evil "transform" others. At that time, I was producing truth-clarification materials. My heart was relatively calm. However when hearing this news over and over again, I began to ask myself, "If I am arrested, can I walk my path well?" I didn't feel steadfast enough. Therefore, I went into hiding with my computer and printer. However, I became more uneasy. I thought that I had found a safe place, but I had become more fearful. Footsteps and a knock on the door would make my heart beat rapidly. I knew that this was not right. My thought and actions were not based on the Fa.
Teacher has told us, "By having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations", ("Teaching the Fa at the Middle U.S. Fa Conference 1999"). But I felt torn in different directions. It wasn't that I had forgotten Teacher's teachings at the critical moment, I just couldn't act according to Teacher's teachings at the decisive moment, although I did remember them. I didnt have 100 percent faith in Master and Dafa. I felt ashamed that I couldn't validate Dafa with my actions as a Dafa disciple. The Clearwisdom website published a lot of articles during that period. The articles talked about how practitioners looked at cultivation in the Fa-rectification period, and how to think and act righteously. They discussed common problems among practitioners, and cultivation experiences from different angles. I was greatly encouraged and inspired. I repeatedly studied Teacher's article, "Coercion Cannot Change Peoples Hearts," "A Message," "A Suggestion," "Dafa Disciples Righteous Thoughts are Powerful," and so on. My righteous thoughts became stronger, and I had gained a clear understanding about the persecution and Dafa disciples' responsibilities in the Fa-rectification period. I understood increasingly that one would always encounter incidents where their faith in Master and Dafa was tested. Only by having faith in Dafa can one assimilate to Dafa, enlighten to the Fa-principles, not deviate from the Fa and truly validate Dafa.
Master talked many times about the Fa-principle of not acknowledging evil tests by the old evil forces and totally denying the arrangements of the old forces. It took me a long time to gain some understanding of these Fa-principles. In 2002, during a period of several months, nine fellow practitioners around me were illegally arrested. I felt very upset facing the rampant persecution, and I didn't know how I could totally deny the old forces' arrangements. Sometimes I thought, "The evil does indeed exist. It just wants to arrest practitioners and how can this be denied?" When we feel unclear about the Fa-principles, the most important thing is to keep a clear mind and study the Fa more. One should rectify one's every thought and action according to Teacher's Fa-principles without hesitation.
Therefore, while doing the three things, I tried my best to eliminate the notions which continued to clutter my mind. One day, I suddenly realized that what Teacher had told us were principles of the vast cosmos. Yet, I always looked at things from a human angle. I only focused on surface phenomena, and took the false illusions as the unchangeable true situation and the truth. Just as Teacher said,
"Ill give you an example. In Buddhism they say that everything in the world is an illusion, that its not real. But hows it an illusion? Whod say those real, material things right there in front of you are fake, right? The form that material things exist in is one way, while the form they manifest in, it turns out, is different. And our eyes have an ability: they can fix the material things in our material dimension so that they appear to be in the state we now see. But actually, thats not their state. Thats not even their state in our dimension." (Zhuan Falun)
The truth, falsehoods, and reality of the human world are ever changing. The fundamental reason for the change lies in the thoughts of Dafa disciples. If our thoughts are righteous, the falsehoods immediately disappear. I didn't really understand the fundamental reasons why the persecution happened, nor did I understand the concept of eliminating the evil in other dimensions. Whenever I encountered something, I unknowingly tried to deal with it at the human level or the person in the human world. When I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil in other dimensions, I couldn't help fighting with the person in this human world. How could the false "reality" be eliminated like this? I felt I began to understand some of the principles of denying the old forces' arrangements.
During our cultivation, we can often be hindered by our notions and attachments. We are allowed to gradually gain an understanding of the Fa, even during the evil's mad persecution. However, during the process we must keep very clear minds. We must know what we want and be steadfast in Dafa. If we hold on to our notions, our attachments and our desires in this human world, we can very easily be taken advantage of and persecuted by the old forces. We can even develop evil understandings and enlightenment. Therefore, cultivation is most serious. We must walk our paths well, solidly and righteously. Only by doing so can we follow Teacher to the end.
Part 5 Dealing with the Persecution in an Upright Manner
Like many practitioners in China, police and staff members from the local resident committee often harassed me. I tried to follow Master's teachings and did not treat them like enemies or adopt a hostile manner. I only told everyone who harassed me that Falun Dafa is good.
When I was escorted from the detention center to our local police station, the policeman who was responsible for me took me to their office on the third floor. Pouring a glass of water for me, he said, "Look at you! Is it worthwhile?" I smiled and said, "You are only twenty-plus years old, while I am already fifty-plus. I haven't eaten anything for six days. You went up to the third floor, while I also went up to the third floor. I wasn't one step slower than you. If you had not eaten for six days, would you be as strong as me? Do you think it is worthwhile or not?" Later, we talked for about an hour. I told him about my cultivation process. I learned that his family lived in the countryside. I said, "Peasants today are having a difficult time. They can't afford medical expenses. If your parents ever encounter any health problems, you can tell them that practicing Falun Gong will do them good and restore their health. If they like, I can teach them the exercises." He said, "You're asking my family to practice Falun Gong when I am trying to ask you to give it up!" We both laughed.
From then on, when police or staff from the resident committee came to my home, I remained polite and cordial. Once, two resident committee members came to my door together. One of them, Mr. A, had come many times, while the other, Mr. B, came for the first time. He insisted on talking to me outside the door. His face was stern, as if he was very much on his guard in front of a Falun Gong practitioner. I said with a smile, "Don't feel afraid. Since you're already here, come in and have a chat." He came in unwillingly, and asked me very seriously, "Are you still practicing Falun Gong?" I said, "Yes, why not? How can I give up such a good practice?" We talked a while about Falun Gong, and his face was no longer stern. Before he left, he repeated several times, "You are a wise person! You are a wise person!" The resident committee was very close to my home, so I often ran into the committee members. I always greeted the ones who had been to my home. Sometimes they pretended that they didn't see me, but I greeted them anyway. I didn't expect that after Mr. B had come to my home, he would greet me whenever he saw me. Once, he called my name from behind me, and said that he really had nothing particular to say to me. He just wanted to greet me.
Once, the resident committee posted a notification about the re-election of the committee in the building. One item on the notification stated that Falun Gong practitioners could not be elected as committee members. I said to them, "Falun Gong practitioners haven't violated any laws. You are the ones violating the law. You are one level of the government and must take responsibility for what you do. Who of you has the right to deprive Falun Gong practitioners of their right to elect officials or be elected?" They were stunned and said that the notification was drafted by someone from the management office of the street. I said, "It doesn't matter who drafted it. It is you who posted it. The drafter has violated the law, and you have also taken part in it." I then told them not to follow others in the future when dealing with Falun Gong related issues. It was not worthwhile to violate the law with others, as everyone should be responsible for one's own deeds.
During the past years, police and members of the resident committee often asked me to fill out forms, saying that this was required from everyone. Sometimes they even showed me a pile of forms to prove to me that they were not singling me out. I said to them, "If it is something that every citizen should do, it will be published in the newspaper. If it is something that every resident in the area should do, it will be posted on the call-board of the area. If it is what I should do, I will cooperate with you. If this is neither in the newspaper nor the call-board, what you are asking me to do must have something to do with Falun Gong. All things targeting Falun Gong are wrong. I won't cooperate with you. Im doing this not only for myself, but more for you, and because the persecution of Falun Gong is wrong. By cooperating and filling out this form, there will be a record that shows that you have participated in the persecution. It is just like during the late period of the Cultural Revolution, those who had committed crimes were and will be held responsible. What can you do at such a time? So I won't cooperate with you. I won't let you successfully participate in the persecution." For several years, I never filled out any form, nor did I write anything. From 2003 on, no one came to bother me any longer.
Part 6 Producing Truth Clarification Materials
I have produced truth-clarification materials since 2000. From the minute I sat in front of the computer, I felt sacred. I never felt tired, even when working more than ten hours.
A small materials-production site is different from big ones. There is no such a thing as cooperating with others or keeping contact with only one person. I had to do all jobs by myself, including accessing the Internet, printing, passing on the materials, buying the material supplies, and so on. The practitioners around me all knew where the materials came from. My home is very small, and nothing can really be hidden. In the beginning my thought was very simple. I could read the Minghui/Clearwisdom website daily. It felt like every day I was participating in a small scale Fa conference, benefiting a lot. I hoped that practitioners around me could also read Master's new articles and practitioners' articles published on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Therefore, I began to give different materials to fellow practitioners. I tried continuously to eliminate my attachments to fear and to doing things, and offered to help practitioners who helped and encouraged me. Together we experienced different kinds of hardships, bitterness, difficulties, as well as happiness. I could always feel Master's protection and care at all times.
Once I had to take a large amount of materials to a practitioner's home by 4:30 p.m. However, I encountered some problems with the transportation of the materials and was more than one hour late. I couldn't find that practitioner. Later, I learned that she was arrested exactly around 4:30 p.m. If we had arrived on time with that many materials, the consequences could have been very serious.
Once during the New Year holidays, we distributed truth-clarification materials. The practitioner who drove the car forgot to pull out the key from the ignition before closing the door. While he tried to open the door, I went into the more than 10-story high building. Several minutes later, he succeeded in opening the door. He waved to me. I was just about to distribute the materials when I saw three security guards walking toward me from the other side of the corridor. Obviously they were on patrol. So I followed them down level by level and finished distributing the materials. It was too "coincidental." If we had not forgotten the key in the car, we would have bumped into the guards when we started distributing.
There were several other such "coincidences." Some incidents were just too "coincidental" to be anything but Teacher protecting us. I only knew the reason afterwards. Many kinds of dangers have been dissolved by Teacher. Teacher is so compassionate and has done so much for our cultivation and consummation. We disciples can only thank Teacher by being more diligent.
Practitioners around me also cherish very much my truth-clarification materials production site. They maintained their xinxing and never revealed the site. Once, a practitioner was arrested. He thought that the site couldn't be discovered and damaged. So he kept sending righteous thoughts. All practitioners who live in my area and who were arrested protected the site. Under everyone's care and protection, this site has produced materials for years. We were able to spread the truth of the persecution and Dafa's beauty to the world's people without interruption. I hope more people can be saved.
Under Teacher's care and protection, I have walked my ten-year-long cultivation path. Sometimes I did well and sometime I stumbled, but I will keep walking to the end. Is there anything more sacred and fortunate than following Teacher and walking on the way back home?
One time when it snowed heavily in Beijing, the thick snow on the trees broke many branches. In the early morning, when taking materials to a practitioner, I stood at a junction and looked at the snow covered, white city. I couldn't help reciting out loud Teacher's poem, "Plum Blossoms,"
In the chaotic world, like pure lotus flowers
plum blossoms, a hundred million
Cold winds only accentuate their beauty
The interminable snowfall and rain
are the tears of gods,
Who look longingly for the plum blossoms return
Never, ever get preoccupied with worldly things
Steel your righteous thoughts
For all [that you have gone through] since ancient times,
Was for none other than this time around.
(Hong Yin Vol. II (Translation Version A))
The cold winter wind hurt my face, and my shoes and pants became damp from the thick snow. However, beautiful warmth flowed through my heart.