(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who began Fa study in September 1995. I had enough time during the personal cultivation period to study the Fa well. I read the book Zhuan Falun more than 400 times and listened to the audiotapes more than 100 times. I studied the Fa then almost all day long, from dawn to dusk. Thus I built a solid and reliable foundation for the later Fa-rectification era.
On July 20, 1999, I started to walk the path of Fa-rectification cultivation. During the past seven stormy years, regardless of the many tribulations and regardless of my inability to understand Fa-rectification cultivation, I did not do a single Dafa-damaging thing. Regardless of how good or bad we did, and regardless of how many regrets I have and how mistakes I made, there is one thing I am grateful for, which is that no matter how brutal the persecution and no matter what evil means the persecutors deployed, I never said a single word of disrespect about Dafa or Master. I have consistently and firmly followed in Master's steps on my path until today.
1. Put Down the Concern for Life and Death During Personal Cultivation
During my personal cultivation period I experienced a life and death tribulation, or one could perhaps say suffering. It was a choice between life and death. I knew I could continue cultivation if I passed it; otherwise I might have been destroyed at that time. That was the first time I put down the concern for life and death in cultivation. It happened as follows.
In 1998 I suddenly felt a severe pain in my lower abdomen. I had suffered from kidney stones before, and the pain was unbearable. However, this time was many times worse than the pain from the kidney stones. I rolled in bed and screamed the whole night. The pain the first night lasted nine hours. Because I had studied Fa a lot and was firm during personal cultivation, I conquered the fear of death but found the pain so difficult to tolerate. When it was the time to do the exercises in the morning the pain had gone. I hurried to the exercise site.
After I returned home, the pain started again. I wondered when it would end. I rolled on the floor and screamed. That time the pain lasted more than ten hours and suddenly got much worse. The pain was so unbearable that I almost lost consciousness. I screamed loudly but was afraid to disturb the neighbors, so I held the book Zhuan Falun and started to read. I thought if there were no help, rather than screaming with all of my strength, I would be better off reading Zhuan Falun, and perhaps the pain would be relieved.
Perhaps this thought helped me. Just like that, I spent another ten-plus hours loudly reading Zhuan Falun one-and-a-half times from cover to cover. I finally passed this tribulation, which lasted 40 hours. After this tribulation, my surface body dramatically changed and I also experienced many conditions I never had before. Since then I have understood the truth of Master's words,
"If you can let go of life and death, you're a God; if you can't let go of life and death, you're a human." ("Teaching the Fa in New York City" in Lectures in the United States, 1997)
This experience set a firm foundation for later on for me, to step forward for Fa-rectification and maintain my righteous thoughts during the persecution.
2. "Practicing" is Validating Dafa
On July 20, 1999, when the persecution began, I went to the municipal government to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa. I encountered persecution and imprisonment. When I was released in the afternoon on July 22, 1999, the police were everywhere. A soldier in camouflage clothing guarded each intersection. The situation had suddenly became extremely bleak. It looked liked the sky had fallen. I made up my mind that no matter how the situation might change, I would firmly cultivate Dafa.
The first morning after my return I went to the exercise site and found only four or five people there. One practitioner said, "What we have left is the real gold." After we finished the exercises we saw a police vehicle parked nearby and two police officers watching us. They placed a poster at the exercise site. The general idea of that poster was to forbid practicing and gathering in groups. I confidently passed the police vehicle and acted like they did not exist.
Early the next morning another female practitioner and I were the only ones there. When the exercise music started, I suddenly felt solemn. When we got to the Falun Standing Stance exercise I heard someone shout. I opened my eyes and saw two police officers standing before us. We ignored them and closed our eyes to continue our practice. One police officer turned off our tape recorder and told us to get in their car. The police drove in a circle and asked whether or not we wanted to continue practicing. We said, "Yes," so he drove ahead. It looked like if we had said "No," he would send us back. I made my choice firmly: no matter where I went, the one word would be "Yes." When we reached an intersection, a large group of police and vehicles were already there. It appeared they had just returned from different exercise sites. When they saw our car they came to see who was inside. When one officer in the car told how we had dared to practice at the exercise site, a fat police officer gave us the thumbs up and said, "Very good! You are the only two in the whole province who dare to come out to practice!" We laughed. So did he.
When we arrived at the local police station I had had enough time to think things through thoroughly. I spent the whole morning in a room. They started to process us in the afternoon and repeatedly asked whether or not we wanted to practice. We said, "Yes, why not? This is such a great Fa!" Though this was only a simple statement, one small difference would produce very different results--"yes" meant jail and "no" meant home. The police did not understand at all and said, "Good, you can practice secretly at home. Why come out? You are too stubborn. If you do need to practice out-of-doors, we will send you somewhere."
I was detained for 15 days. During this time, the police talked with me several times asking, "You are forbidden to practice. Why would you still practice?" I told them all of Dafa's advantages. They all agreed but felt helpless.
One day a group of reporters from several districts and TV programs and various leaders arrived and filled the room. They wanted to talk with me. They carried a camcorder and audio recorders. I remember one man that looked like a manager asking me, "You said that Falun Gong can make a person more healthy. Why are 1,400 dead?" I said, "If 100 people went to hospitals and 99 recovered but one died, would you said that the hospital is bad? 100 million people worldwide have practiced for seven years and a mere 1,400 are dead. Let's for the moment ignore how these people died. Do 100 million persons who have practiced for seven years not beat the normal death rate? Doesn't this answer the question?" They all nodded in agreement and listened quietly. I thought they should also consider this question positively.
Returning from the detention center, people from the street committee and residential committee came to persuade me, asking to choose between Party membership and Falun Gong. They said that I was a key person in this district, and it would affect their job performance. They said they must break me. They used both hard and soft tactics for a week at my home, with all kinds of tricks. I remained unmoved. I thought: "Even dead I could not leave any regret on the way of cultivation." I did what I understood. They finally backed off.
Now many things sound extremely easy. However, with such evil pressure everywhere, I then really needed an extremely strong, righteous mind to achieve what needed to be done.
After they left, I started to read the Fa again and within three days finished all of Zhuan Falun. In September when I saw the words "Beijing" and "Tiananmen" in Zhuan Falun, those were like hints to me, and I could no longer sit still. I wanted to verify Dafa before October 1. A kind of solemnity sprang out from my heart and mind.
The authorities had set me up as a key person, so I encountered interference and interruptions as soon as I left, but caught the train to Beijing. Probably because I had done the exercises in the hotel someone reported me. When I was on the train someone traced me. I didn't pay any attention and read Zhuan Falun all the way. The police arrested me, took me back, and detained me for 15 days. In detention I told the criminal inmates the truth. Several of them said that they would practice Falun Gong after their release.
Shortly after I was released from detention, they put me in prison and threatened to send me to a forced labor camp if I said again that I would continue to practice. I had already disregarded the matter of life and death. When they asked me whether or not I wanted to practice, "Yes" was my answer. When they asked if I still wanted to go to Beijing, "Go" was my answer, because I realized that saying "Yes" to the practice is verifying Dafa. Because it is good, no matter what happened, I would practice. This is using one's own actions to verify the goodness of Dafa.
In the autumn of 1999, the authorities sent me to a forced labor camp. Just because of this "Yes" to the practice, they used all kinds of methods to persecute me.
3. Righteous Thoughts to Verify Dafa Are Indestructible
In the labor camp, those in charge used my attachments to brutally persecute me. They used all kinds of tactics to try and destroy us practitioners. Most of the practitioners detained were "reformed" under the tremendous persecution pressure. The common persecution methods they used were as follows:
A. They ordered us to read things that slandered Dafa thereby creating karma. Thus they achieved the goal of destroying us. I strongly resisted this. They could do nothing about me because of my firm resolve; everything had to yield to me. Normally I didn't need to participate in their camp "tests." If I had to, I refused to answer questions about Falun Gong. After this happened many times, they didn't bother with me anymore and left me alone.
B. They ordered us to read books that slandered Dafa. I refused firmly. Each time there was "study" with other "reformed" practitioners, everyone had to read one paragraph. When it was my turn I refused to read. They could do nothing about me. Once, to try to "reform" me, I was detained in a small cell. Several criminals attempted to force me to read. I refused firmly. They tortured me to make me suffer physically. Later, they ordered the cell head to come over. He asked me why I didn't read. I gently told him, "In the past there was a saying: 'If someone helps you by giving you a drop of water, you should pay him back with a rushing stream.' I used to be very sick. My Master cured me. You want to make me in turn betray him; I would rather die! During the Cultural Revolution, many senior cadres were labeled 'counter-revolutionary', and many were promoted because they were the kind of people who threw stones when you were down and who returned enmity for graciousness. I despised such kind of people the most."
After the cell head heard about it, he no longer forced me to read but respected me a lot. He made an exception and let me bathe and walk around during rest time.
Later, Master spoke of not cooperating with the evil. Many practitioners understood that as resistance. Actually, clarifying the law with kind interpretations can also reach the goal of not cooperating with evildoers and have a much better effect.
C. They made us do unbearable, intense physical labor. That meant unbearable fatigue and pain that one could barely tolerate, which they used to attempt to "reform" us. It is virtually impossible to describe the suffering. I withstood this day after day and overcame huge physical and mental pressure. Even the most evil camp team leaders whose hands are full of Dafa practitioners' blood were polite toward me after several rounds of verbal contests, but they were not polite with those who were "reformed."
D. They tortured us. To achieve the goal of making practitioners give up cultivation, they used ruthless torture that is difficult to withstand. When the officials started the large-scale persecution of Falun Gong practitioners at that camp, they used all kinds of vicious methods, savage torture, and cruel tactics. Many practitioners wrote the three statements against their better judgment. I was forced to sit several days, listening to the miserable screams of fellow practitioners. They wanted to destroy my spirit by making me witness this.
I pondered how to act when facing a sudden disaster. Fellow practitioners around me were also pondering. They asked me, "What to do?" I replied, "I'd rather die than be 'reformed!'" This is an extremely strong righteous thought. Although it was blurted out at that time, later we understood the importance of its weight.
Shortly after, a very evil camp head arrived with several team leaders. This head pointed to me, saying, "Take care of him tomorrow!" I sat there with a solemn expression and looked at him. I did not know what it meant to be confronted by the evil, because Master's lecture [pertaining to this] had not yet been released. It was my natural reaction when I was confronted with the evildoers at that harsh time. However, a "reformed" practitioner later said, "I was so scared when I saw you." In retrospect, it is that firm righteous thought that took effect and scared the evil. It is not that we fear evil. It is the evil that fears us!
I thought of a recent article on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website the other day. The general idea was of a practitioner going to appeal in Beijing. He thought that being arrested and beaten are persecution from the evil and should not be acknowledged. He thought he should not be arrested or beaten; thus he returned home safely. That was the first time I had ever read an article on the Minghui website. A practitioner on the outside brought it to me, just those few pages. I thought I should not acknowledge the evil persecution, either. I did not have that tribulation. I told my guardian angels and all lives I had cultivated to protect me and eliminate the evil (the Fa-rectification verse had not then been released), as otherwise, if I am destroyed, all of you will be, too. Strong righteous thoughts permeated my whole body. My mind gradually became calm.
During the evening a team leader on duty came to see us. Although I knew he came to find out about our circumstances in order to "reform" us, I still felt this to be an opportunity. I pointed out explicitly that their methods were in severe violation of the law. I asked him what we did wrong to make him treat us this way. A few other practitioners also said, "You have to take responsibility for what you did!" He was also afraid of trouble and replied he would relate our explanations to the upper level officials. They eventually did not bother us at all.
The behavior of the majority of practitioners under the large-scale brutal persecution is righteous and indestructible, like diamond, fully exhibiting to sentient beings that Dafa is indestructible.
4. Doing the Three Things Well; Widely Disseminating the Nine Commentaries and Promoting the "Three Withdrawals"
A. Sending forth righteous thoughts is to safeguard Dafa and rescue sentient beings.
Master has written,
"China's Labor Re-education Camps are dark dens of evil forces." ("Suffocate the Evil" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I then had a thought, "If I enter a labor camp again, I will keep on sending forth righteous thoughts and eradicate the evil there." I didn't know whether it was the old forces' arrangements, which I didn't deny strongly enough, or whether my instant thought had made this happen, but I was arrested again the following spring and sent to a forced labor camp again. I thought, "Since you have got me here, I will eradicate you here."
My daily average time for sending forth righteous thoughts was altogether three to four hours and sometimes even five hours. The labor camp eventually released many strictly monitored practitioners. The environment also loosened up. Until the publication of Master's related articles, fellow practitioners just realized certain things and sent forth righteous thoughts together, making this once extremely evil camp never again resort to large-scale brutal persecution of Dafa practitioners.
B. Studying the Fa is the basic guarantee for consummation
For quite a long time my living conditions were bad. My wife used to be a Dafa practitioner but appeared to have extremely heavy sickness karma in her mind brought on by the persecution. I had to take care of all the burdens at home by myself. For three years I was alone in clarifying the truth, sending forth righteous thoughts, studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, and making a living. I endured with great difficulties for three years. Right up through today, no matter how busy I am or how difficult it is, I persist in Fa study because I deeply understand that studying the Fa is the basic guarantee for consummation. If I really could not make time to study, I then held a small recorder, listening to the Fa while preparing truth-clarifying materials. I saw my shortcomings when studying Fa, and got rid of ordinary people's attachments and anything bad. Step by step, I continued on the path and arrived where I am today.
C. Use all available methods to let people know and understand the truth
During the entire Fa-rectification period, clarifying the truth is a main, underlying theme. Lately, the importance of this manifested more and more. To let people know about and understand the truth, I have used the following methods: writing posters, putting up self-adhesive stickers, distributing brochures and CDs, face-to-face conversations, etc. I want people to understand what the persecution has done to Dafa and Dafa disciples. I have exposed the evil. I became aware that getting truth-clarifying materials from materials production sites is sometimes limiting. When I urgently needed materials there were sometimes none available. I bought an all-in-one machine, convenient and quick. Whenever I met a person that didn't know the truth, after I had clarified the facts to him or her, it was accepted. The person's state of mind changed instantly; there was genuine appreciation, and the enthusiasm when they met me again made me sincerely congratulate him for his life reborn, as well as the hope for embracing a future.
D. Let people know and understand the Nine Commentaries
Last December I suddenly realized the importance of widely disseminating the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. Thus I began that journey.
I had a chance to meet many outside people at my workplace. I tried to chat with them whenever I had time. I asked them whether they knew the truth of Falun Gong and whether they had read the Nine Commentaries. If someone said "No" but wanted to, I gave the person a copy as a gift and briefly told them why they should read it and emphasized the importance of quitting the Party and its affiliated organizations. If they said they didn't have time, I told them of the declaration on the last page and asked them to read it on their own and make their own choice.
My mind became more and more pure. The power of my meditation has became stronger and stronger during the Fa-rectification period through the following: with each experience verifying and safe-guarding Dafa; exposing the evil and clarifying the truth; studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts, giving up the concern for life and death, and giving up all kinds of attachments. However, one can only achieve these gradually during cultivation. I feel that I have not disappointed Master, or his careful protection and continuous, merciful salvation. I didn't hesitate, I haven't wandered, but I have followed Master all the way until today. I feel incomparably grateful. I am fulfilling my promise. I should cultivate towards higher levels. We are following closely the mercy and grandeur of our Master toward a spectacular end, step by step!
I have related my personal experiences. If there is a mistake or anything improper, please feel free to point it out mercifully. I sincerely appreciate Master's grandeur and the grandeur of Dafa. I salute with highest respect Master's magnificence!