(Clearwisdom.net) I am an uneducated, elderly practitioner. After I began practicing Falun Dafa, our compassionate Teacher purified my body and gave me wisdom. Thus, I was able to calm down, study the Fa, and improve my understanding. During the process, I learned many new words and came to understand many principles.
One time I accidentally left my house key at home and could not get back into the house. As a result, I had to wait outside my door for quite a while. Suddenly, I thought about what Teacher said in Zhuan Falun "...she would unlock the door just by pointing her fingers at the lock." (Lecture Six) So I picked out any key, put it into the key hole and unlocked the door. Just like that, the door opened.
Another time, I saw several banners that slandered Dafa hanging in the street. My fellow practitioners and I then sent forth righteous thoughts, and within a few days, the banners were gone. As long as we have righteous thoughts and righteous actions, the Fa will display its magnificence.
After the severe persecution began on July 20, 1999, it did not affect my firm belief in Dafa, and I felt that Teacher was right by my side. I recalled when I was released from detention, a guard said, "If you don't transform, we will send you to a brainwashing center." I did not say anything and only sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evils. She then said, "It is your choice." I replied, "I know what to do." After a while, she asked, "How are you going to face them?" I said, "Just follow the natural course." During this critical moment, I only filled my heart with the Fa and was not moved. As a result, the evils could do nothing. I did not have any attachments or fear at that time, and I knew Teacher was protecting me.
Overcoming the Demon of Sleep
Currently, my biggest obstacle is the demon of sleep. For two months now, it has interfered with my Fa-study. I have not been able to pass this test. During the day, I am busy with housework and clarifying the truth. Thus, I do not have time to study the Fa. Whenever I try to study the Fa during the evening, I feel sleepy. The main reason is because my environment has become relaxed and I am attached to comfort. The evils then take advantage of my loophole.
In March 2005, I read an article on the Minghui Weekly about practitioners sending forth righteous thoughts together to eliminate the evil. From this experience, our local practitioners also began to send forth righteous thoughts together for over an hour every day in order to spread the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party smoothly. Besides doing some of our daily household chores, we also sent forth righteous thoughts and studied the Fa at night, and I never felt sleepy once. Lately, whenever I picked up the book, my eyes would look at the pages and my body remained in the same position, but I would soon fall asleep. After I opened my eyes to find where I had left off, I would soon fall asleep again. This kept repeating to the point that I could not complete even one lecture after three days. I then stopped studying the Fa and decided to do the first four Falun Gong exercises. After doing the exercises, I no longer felt sleepy and was able to study the Fa.
At that point, many small round dots appeared on the pages of Zhuan Falun. It started out by looking white, and then golden and shiny. For a moment,I thought it was because of the reflection of the light, but when I carefully looked at the pages again, the whole book was beginning to be filled with shiny golden stars. I stared at them without blinking. The longer I stared, the more there were, filling even between the lines. Later, the stars turned into plum blossom flowers with well-defined petals. If I could have added leaves and stems to the flowers, then it would have become a plum blossom tree. Didn't the plum blossom tree symbolize the whole body of Dafa disciples? Then why were only the petals
shown to me? I thought that Teacher was trying to enlighten me to the fact that our local practitioners did not cooperate well with each other and we could not elevate together.
Letting Go of Attachments
From the surface, I seem kind. I don't take advantage of others and love to help people. But I like to measure myself with the standards of ordinary people and feel that I am better than others. Most of the time, I can pass my tests, but I sometimes throw temper tantrums at home. I like to be in control and make decisions. I always thought this was the real me. I have now discovered my layers of attachments to selfishness, vanity, jealousy, etc.
For cultivators, we should at least be able to not fight back when we are beaten or sworn at. At home however, I did not act as a Dafa practitioner should, because if anyone irritated me I would get very angry. I blamed others and avoided taking any responsibility. I also often complained about others. Just like Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,"
"When Dafa disciples make mistakes, they do not like to be criticized. No one can criticize them, and when someone does, it sets them off. When they are right, they don't like others bringing up things they could improve on; when they are wrong, they don't want to be criticized."
Isn't this a selfish heart? Why not look within? Ordinary people become good people for their reputation, they want others to say that they are good. This deeply hidden human notion has finally surfaced.
While trying to write this article, I was often interfered with by thought karma. This tiny bit of sharing took me three years to write about and submit to the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. After experiencing tribulation after tribulation, I finally realized that my impure notions, thought karma, and the old forces were trying to interfere. Once I understood this, I no longer fell asleep while studying the Fa, and I felt like I was sitting in an eggshell when meditating.
After eliminating the evil forces, understanding where I should be, and breaking through the layers of human notions, I now feel much lighter. To encourage us, Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,"
"I hope everyone will do better and better at the end. Be sure not to become lax. You must not slack off, and you must not become apathetic."
Category: Improving Oneself
