To Be a Particle Assimilated to the Fa
Before I obtained the Fa on October 29, 1998, I had minor illnesses for which I was always took medication, though I didn't have any major illnesses. But the "old me" no longer existed after I began practicing Falun Gong. My husband said, "Your health has improved. You don't get angry with me anymore. So please continue your practice."
But after the persecution began on July 20, 1999, my husband and other family members changed their attitude towards me. They no longer supported me. On the surface my husband opposed me and was unreasonable. But actually I knew that I had human attachments I had to let go. Time and again I painfully looked for my shortcomings, but my daughter would say, "Mom, you are not wrong. It is Dad who is wrong." I would say, "No, there must be something that I am not doing well. Otherwise, this wouldn't have happened." On the surface, everyone said he was unreasonable. But in my heart I knew that was ordinary people's reasoning. I had human attachments that I had to let go.
When I looked within, I found many ways that I had not met the standard of the Fa. However, once I found the attachments and wanted to get rid of them, the situation turned around quickly. My xinxing then improved among those conflicts. From my behavior my family members have learned how good Falun Dafa practitioners are. If I feel physically unwell, I also look inward. When I look within myself, my "unwellness" will disappear immediately and I recover at once. Wondrous things will come one after another. My determination in cultivating Dafa thus increases. In the first year of my practice, I had one laughable thought, which was on the day that the name of Dafa was cleared, I would let everyone know my grievances - but now I not only don't have any grievances, I am grateful to those who have made troubles for me. Through cultivation of Dafa I know the fundamentals of life, why human beings come to this world, the meaning of life and how much Teacher has borne for us.
Since I obtained the Fa, there have been occassions that I wanted to do this and didn't want to do that, or I had time to do this and didn't have time to do that. But with regards to Fa study, I have never been unwilling to do it. Once I pick up the book, I am not willing to put it down. Each week I finish reading "Zhuan Falun" once and read two or three other Dafa books and some of the Teacher's Fa lectures. If I don't read the book Zhuan Falun that week, I watch Teacher's Fa lecture videos or listen to Fa lecture tapes. In the first two years, I had to squeeze in some time to study the Fa because I was very busy with my own business. So I thought to myself, if I could exchange all my money for de, I would be more than happy to do so. Then all the de could be transformed into gong.
How nice it would be if I could spend all of my time studying the Fa and doing the exercises. Since I had such a thought, I became less busy with the business. Some unexpected incidents happened, but on the surface these things were not caused by me. I ended up having more free time, but financially I earned more. Thus, I could contribute more to Fa validation work. As a true cultivator, my attachments to material things and to qing become less and less, until one day I let go of them all.
In my heart I am so grateful to our Teacher. No matter what we want or don't want, Teacher harmonizes all of these for us. In order to save us, Teacher bears huge unimaginable hardships for sentient beings. We have no reason not to be diligent. When studying the Fa, sometimes I cannot understand a particular Fa principle. I do not doubt it or insist on making it clear. I instead think, "I will come to understand it with more Fa study." We have been in this human society for such a long time and have been reincarnated life after life. We did bad things in some of the lifetimes, incurred a lot of debts and formed many deviated notions. With so many marks that we haven't cultivated away, we are not able to fully understand such profound Fa that surpasses the human level. Only when we diligently cultivate ourselves and let go of the humanness will layers of layers of Fa principles naturally manifest before us.
The books we have are not ordinary people's books, and what we learn is not ordinary people's knowledge. What we have in our hands is the universal great law that human society wants to find, yet they are not able to, life after life. What we learn are the extraordinary principles that you cannot learn from the ordinary human society. Through constant Fa study, our hearts and minds are constantly being purified. Old notions are eliminated, and all sorts of bad human attachments are being let go. Supernormal abilities and supernormal visions will come up one after another.
In 2000, it was very hard to get Teacher's new articles or truth clarifying materials. Not every practitioner could get a copy of Teacher's new articles. We then hand-copied the articles. The truth clarifying materials were in short supply. We hand-wrote them and then typed them and wrapped them nicely or put them into envelopes. We distributed the materials to local residents. Every single piece of material we gave out, I gave a thought that I hope the family would learn the truth and thus be saved. We clarified the truth face-to-face to our relatives, friends and acquaintances.
When clarifying the truth to people, I find that only when I study the Fa more and well can I answer their different questions and discover my own human and selfish heart. For example, when I tell people how Falun Dafa teaches people to be good, better, selfless persons who consider others first, I myself first have to behave according to what I have told other people to do. If my action is not in accordance with what I say, how can I be called a cultivator? Can I validate the Fa in this way? Isn't it like hurting myself if I don't put what I say into action? Most importantly we can't damage the reputation of Dafa. So when we clarify the truth face-to-face, we can identify our hidden attachments and let them go immediately.
Here I'll give an example. My sister had a friend. I went to clarify the truth to her and told her my personal experience of practicing Falun Dafa. She was really moved and wanted to learn Falun Gong. Later she told me that on the following day after I clarified the truth to her, she had a meeting in the city, and each work unit was requested to report if there were people practicing Falun Gong in their work units. She worked in the office of the Party Secretary at that time. After she came back, she didn't do any investigation at all. Other people asked her why she didn't investigate. She said, "Why do you have to put your nose into others' business? Every one has his own belief." So she didn't report to the city bureau. Her work unit was a big factory with a staff of several thousand. There were quite a lot of people practicing Falun Gong. But no one was persecuted. After learning this story, I really felt happy for her. In 2005, I talked to her about the quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She said, "I have been thinking for several days about why would I want to be a Party member. The Party is rotten to the bone." All of her family members have now quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
From the above story I realized that when we clarify the truth to someone who is passively or forced to carry out an unrighteous order or participate in the persecution, if we clarify the truth to them from our hearts, their knowing sides will know that we are saving them, and they then may protect Dafa practitioners within their capacity. Then the persecution will become less and less severe and more and more people will be saved. Today Dafa practitioners are still being persecuted, so we have to look inside. Have we done anything that was not in line with the Fa principles?
Even when we clarify the truth face-to-face to people, we still miss chances if we don't do well. Under such circumstances, it is because our human hearts gain the upper hand. We may think that we have to look for another opportunity, to adopt another method, or may think that the person is bad in such and such a way. All sorts of warped notions will come up. Under such circumstances we have to study the Fa more and send forth righteous thoughts more. When it comes to clarifying the truth to a person, if we have the mentality of asking for help instead of saving others, the result is often not good. Only when we don't have any human notions in clarifying the truth to people, will the result be even better than expected. We know from the Fa principles to "gain naturally without pursuit." We should realize the importance of Teacher's Fa when we actually go out and do things.
When we clarify the truth face-to-face, we can clearly know what the other party thinks and in which aspect they have difficulty understanding. We can then provide the most relevant materials. If we study the Fa well, we can then answer their questions according to their different understandings. If we are not able to answer the questions on the spot, through constant Fa study, we will come to understand it. When we clarify the truth the next time, we will be more clear-headed and will answer the questions more confidently. This way we can improve ourselves step by step. When we clarify the truth to people face-to-face, we can send forth righteous thoughts from our hearts to clear the evil factors behind the person or recite the Fa rectification verse if the other party doesn't want to listen or doesn't believe what we say. The other party will change their attitude. They will believe what we say and they may even want to read the books. Though some of them will not practice Falun Gong right away, we are laying a foundation for them. I have five books of Zhuan Falun and some truth clarifying materials. The books are passed around from one to another. While loaning out the books with a delightful heart, I feel gratified.
Of course there are many other ways to clarify the truth. I adopt the methods of face-to-face clarifying the truth, mailing, and distributing materials. I often remind myself to let go of the mentality of doing more work, zealotry, anxiety, laziness and the human heart. Our behavior in daily life is a good way to clarify the truth and let other people know Dafa. If when we shop, we are not picky and don't bargain with the vendors and can understand the hardships they go through, then people will find we are good, and in this way we validate the Fa.
Actually we have to do well in every aspect of daily life. We have to let go of fame, personal interest and sentiment. If we think of sentient beings every moment, we can then do well all the things required of us on different levels. When we want to find someone, we will come across him on the street. Sometimes we will see a person from our past in our dreams. With such a hint, we can easily find him. And later when we clarify the truth to him or ask him to quit the CCP, he is ready to accept it.
We have to save different people with the same attitude and compassion no matter whether they are rich or poor, in high position or low position, educated or illiterate, young or old, relatives or strangers, or even those we look down upon due to our biased human notions (we have to get rid of our warped notions at all times).
Chinese people have been more or less affected by the evil Party culture in different periods of their lives. The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party is the most powerful tool to clear the marks left in their minds. One intellectual who is very arrogant said after reading the Nine Commentaries and watching the DVDs, "The CCP is finished. The Nine Commentaries reveals the truth. It is not written by ordinary people." As Dafa practitioners, we shouldn't neglect sending righteous thoughts to clear away the poisonous elements of the Party culture.
No matter how much we do, we must do it from the Fa and not go to extremes. We have to require ourselves as Teacher said in "Diligence and Righteous Enlightenment," from Hongyin II (Translation Version A):
"Don't let up in studying the Fa;
amidst it transformation happens
Let nothing sway conviction;
of it comes right fruit and the blooming lotus"