(Clearwisdom.net) One day during a recent vacation I visited a female practitioner who sells clothes, and bought some clothes and shoes at another place. After awhile, my five-year-old daughter wanted to go home, but I did not take any notice of her request. Shortly after, my handbag was stolen. It contained my cell phone, 150 yuan and several truth-clarifying materials. I felt very depressed and anxious, not only because of the theft, but also because of my carelessness. This was not the first time that I had lost things on the street, as this kind of thing had happened many times before. During the same vacation period the previous year, my handbag was also stolen, along with my cell phone, which cost 2,000 yuan, my ID card, and keys, among other things. On top of that, my two brand new bicycles were also stolen several months ago. When I returned home, my husband became angry and blamed me. I asked myself, "Am I still conducting myself like a practitioner?"
I studied the Fa that night and recalled that our Teacher once said that nothing that happens to a practitioner is by chance. So why was I always losing my belongings? There must be something wrong in my cultivation, there must exist some loopholes in my cultivation of which the old forces are taking advantage.
At an earlier time I was twice taken to a brainwashing session. During the year after I returned from detention, I know Master continued to take care of me, trying to help me return to the true path of a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-Rectification Period. However, I began to enjoy the topics of how to take care of one's skin, what hair style is currently in vogue, and so on, and paid more and more attention to my fitness. In my heart, I knew I was placing too much emphasis on these things, but I still enlarged my human attachments little by little by giving myself such excuses as, "This is the way we cultivate in human society, and maintaining a good image in front of ordinary people is also one way to demonstrate that Dafa is good." The result was that I spent more and more time going shopping and even started buying make-up, even though I had never bought or used make-up before! Sometimes I used "doing Dafa work" as an excuse to go shopping. Yesterday, I chatted with some colleagues about who has the best appearance, who has a good personality, and so on. And today, while I was trying on some clothes, I was even thinking about how much other men would like my appearance when I wore them.
Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
"On a lighter note, young women like to do facials to get fairer and better skin. I'd say that if you truly do a dual practice of nature and longevity you'll naturally get that, and I can guarantee you won't need to do facials."
Before the persecution, I witnessed the wonderfulness of many practitioners with healthy complexions practicing together in the powerful energy field. After the persecution began, I seldom practiced the exercises, and human notions developed because I could not see the changes in my own physical body. Until now, I didn't realize the danger of the attachment to one's image. I remember that when I was first sent to a brainwashing session, I was not deceived by the twisted words of those who had betrayed Dafa, and kept clarifying the truth to them. But I was deceived by some who claimed that my body and teeth were foul-smelling, and my heart was moved. Later they sometimes praised me for being smart and kind, and sometimes criticized me of being impolite and haughty. My heart was then led by these things. Reflecting on the experience, I realized that my being forcibly "transformed" had something to do with the attachment to vanity and caring too much for other people's opinions of my image.
Teacher said in "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference:"
"An article published on the Minghui website described a student who told people the facts about Dafa and shouted "Dafa is good" wherever she went. "No matter where they take me, I'll ignore everything the vicious policemen say, and no matter how violently you beat me or how terribly you swear at me, I'll remain just as I am." The labor camp was so scared that they sent her back in a hurry--"We don't want her." It's because they figured, "We won't be able to convert her, and on top of that she'll influence a large number of people." (People laugh) And they won't be able to get a bonus, either. (Applause) They had no way to handle it--where could the local police station put her? They had no way to handle it, so they sent her home.
"That looks like human conduct, but in fact it's not. That was because she reached that point through cultivation and truly arrived at that realm--"Now that you've arrested me, I haven't thought at all about going back. Now that I've come here, I've come to validate the Fa." So the evil was scared. Also, the number of evil beings is quite small now. The more we eliminate them the less of them there are."
These passages left a deep impression on me. Though I like to write and say, "Falun Dafa is good," I was unable to shout out this sentence at the most crucial moment. The reason is that I was blocked by human notions, being afraid that I would be laughed at by others. Teacher said,
"I want to treat you as my disciples, but what should I do if you, yourselves don't want to be my disciples? Every attachment for you to remove in your cultivation practice is a wall, standing there and blocking your path of cultivation practice. If you cannot be determined about the Fa itself, you cannot practice cultivation. Do not take your position among everyday people too seriously. Do not think that others will fail to understand you if you learn Dafa. Think about it: Even people's claim that they have evolved from apes is able to be highly regarded. Yet with this great Dafa of the universe, you are embarrassed to give it a correct position--this is human beings' true shame." ("Environment" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I feel much better after writing to this point. Teacher also said in "To the Chicago Fa Conference:"
"Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating. A cultivator cannot achieve Consummation when laden with human thoughts, laden with karmic debts, or laden with attachments."
I think I can make the event of losing my bag a good thing, and hope that fellow practitioners who have experienced similar things can get some enlightenment from it too.
Finally let me quote Teacher's answer to a student's question in "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia:"
"Student: Could you tell us the root cause of our vanity?
Teacher: Emotion. You like it when other people say that you're good. You like it when other people praise and flatter you. You like it when other people respect you. And you are afraid of anything that damages your image. All of which is developing the mentality that is vanity. It's an attachment. The human desire to save face is very strong. In fact, when you set your mind at ease and don't carry so much baggage, you will cultivate faster."
