Preventing Sentimentality from Interfering with Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) Some practitioners that I am familiar with have recently been interfered with by sentimentality. The primary manifestation is that they found a mate who agreed with their notions. For example, one practitioner enjoys ancient poems, and the person he met was also good at this. One practitioner appreciates those who are knowledgeable, capable, and detail conscious, and the other person has read many books, is outstanding professionally, and does things carefully. In cases like these, the couples are very fond of each other and may even think they met because of predestined relationships. When it comes to marriage, however, the non-practitioner may ask the practitioner to give up practice, comprise somehow, stop contacting other practitioners, or not go out to clarify the truth. If the practitioner does not agree, the relationship ends. Although these practitioners did not yield under the high pressure of persecution, some gave in upon meeting such situations.
I found that it is hard to see things clearly when you are trapped in this. One might erroneously consider it as a predestined relationship, and as a result become immersed in it and be unable to find a way out. When some practitioners jumped out of these situations however, we realized that it was our connivance with lust that allowed the bad elements to use our omissions to ruin us. When I came to realize this, I suddenly awakened. Therefore, I reminded those practitioners who are single and dating that we must pay attention to these issues. In fact Teacher has mentioned this many times. I just want to say that sometimes such situations are very puzzling.
Some practitioners may think that given the special period of time we are in, there is no time for dating. Does this mean that in a different time period or a relaxed environment, we will then be able to date, get married, and become immersed in sentimentality? I think we need to improve in the Fa. My current understanding is that whether or not to marry is not the issue, just like whether or not to eat meat does not make a fundamental difference. The key issue is whether you have an attachment to eating meat, or an attachment to sentimentality (or lust). If one could reach consummation just by staying single, wouldn't anyone in this world who is single be able to reach consummation?
Another aspect is the purpose of getting married. If one gets married because of lust, although he may have been very diligent in cultivation prior to marriage, he may become trapped in lust after marriage, and be unable to get out. In my understanding, Teacher has told us that getting married conforms with everyday society. With such an understanding, and having someone suitable as a spouse, marriage itself is not a fundamental issue.
I have recently realized that sentimentality is nothing but an element. When immersed in it one might become happy, angry, sad, or excited. It is a factor for human beings, and a person will have good feelings only when immersed in it. When you feel sentimentality is wonderful, you are actually still an everyday human being.
The above are my recent, limited understandings. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate. Heshi.