Improving Myself During Fa-Rectification

(Clearwisdom.net) I am a new practitioner who started to practice Falun Dafa in January 2004. I'm happy to share my experiences with everyone.

Since I was young, I have always felt that we came to this world with a purpose. One month before I learned of Falun Dafa, I suddenly had a thought, "For many years, it's always been 'I want..., I need..., I think..., etc.' Although life is like this, I should not have to live like this. I should really get rid of these attachments to myself." Shortly after, a classmate of mine from elementary school, whom I haven't seen for nearly 20 years, gave me the book, Zhuan Falun. I started to practice Falun Dafa. Teacher's Fa answered all the questions I had about life. After so many years, I finally understood the purpose of my coming to this world-to practice Falun Dafa.

At first, due to my introverted personality, I did not participate in group Fa study. I also did not consistently go to the group practice site to do the Falun Gong exercises with other practitioners. Although I read Teacher's new lectures, I still didn't completely understand why practitioners were persecuted in China. I was not even fully aware of the three things Dafa practitioners were supposed to do. I often read experience sharing articles written by Chinese practitioners on the Minghui website [the Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net]. I truly admired their courage and spirit. They continued to practice diligently in such a difficult environment.

After practicing for five months, I read on the Minghui website that many overseas practitioners were calling Mainland Chinese people to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa. I decided that I would like to take part as well (I believe this was Teacher's arrangement). I took down several policemen's phone numbers who persecute Dafa practitioners, called them and told them the truth about Dafa. I ran into many difficulties. So I called the Dafa coordinator in Xinzhu City. She told me about the group study sessions for practitioners who made phone calls to China and encouraged me to join the group. From then on, I started my Fa-rectification journey.

Through the group phone call sessions, I gradually became aware of the cruelty of the persecution against practitioners in China. I then realized that the persecution was being carried out by the dark minions of the Old Forces. I also became clear about the three things practitioners are supposed to do. The group calling sessions not only helped me learn how to clarify the truth about Dafa and the persecution, it also helped me see my attachments. I've been a teacher for many years, so that has helped me think logically and talk clearly. Very often after I finished making a phone call, fellow practitioners would tell me that I did a good job and that I was compassionate. Later, I was given the responsibility of drafting and revising the calling script. Practitioners liked my scripts. This stirred up my attachment of zealotry and the mentality of showing off. If anyone hung up on me, I felt that I lost face. I was also jealous of practitioners who did a better job.

Thinking back, I am still ashamed of my thoughts. Teacher told us,

"For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests." ("A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It" - Essentials For Further Advancement)

This is easier said than done. It took me a long time to admit that I had these attachments, let alone get rid of them. The group calling sessions helped me to gradually let go of my attachments. But later I realized that I had not completely let go of them.

Although I participated in the group phone calls, I did not make phone calls by myself at home. Fellow practitioners encouraged me and told me to also make phone calls from home. I procrastinated for a month. Every time before I picked up the phone, my heart would hurt and I would have diarrhea. I struggled to make a call for an hour. I almost passed out. This happened two or three times. I told myself, "This is interference from the evil force. No matter what, I have to call." After this thought emerged, I stopped having diarrhea and heart pains. I, however, was still nervous. I was concerned that people would hang up on me. I stopped making phone calls by myself. One time, I observed a practitioner who, after the person hung up on her, she called that person back four-five times until he understood the truth. She shared her experiences with us. She told us that people who didn't want to listen to us are the ones that needed to know the truth the most. Since then, I reserve some time to call the people who've hung up on me. Although not every phone call rectifies the person, my attachment of fear disappeared. Usually, after my second try, the individual on the other end of the phone became a totally different person. He or she would listen to the truth of Dafa and the persecution and thanked me afterwards.

The coordinator in my area told me that I should learn to call the forced labor camps. So a fellow practitioner and I went to Taoyuan City three to four times to learn how to clarify the truth to personnel at the labor camps. Being with the group of practitioners who called the labor camps, I felt the energy field was righteous, and when practitioners made phone calls, they were very compassionate. I realized where I needed to improve. I was moved by practitioners' experiences and realized the great power of righteous thoughts.

In early September, Teacher's new article "Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People" came out. I strongly felt the sense of urgency and started to think about how to encourage practitioners who have not stepped forward to clarify the truth, to join the telephone group. At the regional experience sharing conference, I shared with practitioners my phone call experience. Some practitioners were moved. They started to take phone numbers from me to make phone calls at home. Later I found out that some practitioners didn't participate in the group phone call sessions and didn't have a chance to exchange ideas or share experiences with fellow practitioners. They often stopped calling after one or two tries due to the attachment of fear. I didn't know how to help them until I attended the Taiwan Phone Call Experience Sharing Conference. I learned from the experienced practitioners and improved our group phone call sessions. Gradually, more and more practitioners participated in the group phone call sessions.

I thought I had overcome my attachment of fear when making phone calls and that there were no more obstacles. I remembered, however, that when I went to Taoyuan City to learn how to call the forced labor camps, Teacher's lecture was played in the car. Every time the lecture was on, I listened intently to Lecture Four, especially the section on "Upgrading Xinxing." Even when I studied the Fa at home, with my children, or with the group, I always happened to read the same section,

"By the time the gong reaches his xinxing level, the gong has also increased up to that level. If he wants to continue increasing his gong, the conflict will also become very serious, as it requires him to keep upgrading xinxing." (Zhuan Falun)

I thought to myself, this is not a coincidence. Teacher was trying to tell me something. Maybe it's time to upgrade my xinxing again. I was right. My elderly mother all of a sudden became angry with me. She would say to me, "All you do is to ask your children to study the Fa and do the exercises. On holidays, instead of playing with them, you take them to group study. Every night, you don't go to bed until after 1:00 a.m.. What are you practicing?" She scolded me several times. I realized that I had not been doing well in my everyday responsibilities. I thanked my mother for reminding me and adjusted my schedule and approach to doing things. Since then, she has stopped complaining and even took the initiative to tell our relatives how Falun Gong helped improve my health. She also doesn't say anything when I come home late after group study. Last time, when I took my children to a Fa-promotion activity to play the flute, she was happy to see that the children were dressed up.

Another attachment that surfaced was the mentality to showing off. In early November, we started to call people working in the Education Department in Beijing. I started to draft the new phone call script. I sent my draft to the Minghui website as an experience sharing article. I knew my mentality to showing off was problematic and I felt bad about it. I thought to myself, if I was in China, this show off mentality could hurt so many practitioners. As a result, I encountered many difficulties when I made calls to the students from Qinghua University. The students would talk to me, but I felt confined by my script, and I couldn't fully clarify the truth. I wanted to ask help from other practitioners, but felt embarrassed. After studying the Fa a lot, I encouraged myself to ask for help from practitioners in Taoyuan City. I realized that I needed to improve myself, but on what areas other than the mentality of showing off. I then found out where I should improve. When I made phone calls, I paid too much attention on whether I could convince the person I was talking to. That is, I was too concerned about my "performance." I was not validating the Fa. Instead, I was validating myself. I realized that Fa validation was not dependent on how much Dafa work a practitioner did. It depends on the purity of the heart.

In early December, we used a new script to clarify the truth. This time, as I wrote the script, I reminded myself that I should not have an attachment to showing off. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. Although it still came up occasionally, I knew it was not strong enough to interfere with me. When I made phone calls, my righteous thoughts got stronger and stronger. I stopped worrying about whether anyone would hang up on me. I only focused on purifying myself and saving people. In the process of upgrading my xinxing, I always remembered what Teacher told us,

"It doesn't matter that you fell down, it doesn't matter! Quickly get up!" (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference).

Teacher has always been so kind; I should not disappoint Teacher.

Since I started to practice Falun Dafa, many miraculous things have happened to me, as well as to my family and friends. I'm sure every true practitioner has had similar experiences. I'm fortunate enough to become a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. This is Teacher's merciful salvation. I will advance diligently and eliminate my attachments. I'd also like to thank veteran practitioners. Because of your help, new practitioners can keep up with the Fa-rectification process.