Awakening from a Despondent State
(Clearwisdom.net) My spouse and I are in our seventies. We have been practicing Falun Dafa for eight years. Under Teacher's merciful protection we have gone through a lot of tests from the evil, old forces during Fa-rectification. Our determination to cultivate has never changed. In recent years we have been doing the three things that all practitioners are required to do during Fa-rectification. We usually considered ourselves to be veteran practitioners as we demonstrate good behavior on various aspects of cultivation. Sometimes we have felt satisfied with ourselves when compared with other practitioners, thinking that we are "worse off than some, better off than many." At times we did not realize that we had indulged ourselves with the strong human notion of happiness. Understanding it from the Fa, we realized that this was actually interference from human notions. These are precisely the attachments that practitioners should eliminate. However, lured by the everyday things in a person's life and influenced by emotion, we still had worries. Eliminating all the attachments and notions that have been deeply rooted for thousands of years is not easy.
Because we were attached to when Fa-rectification would end, we sometimes used the human time-space concept to evaluate the enlightened beings' Fa-rectification time. what Teacher said,
"Get rid of any attachment you have, and don't think about anything. Just do everything a Dafa disciple should do, and everything will be covered" ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference" in 2001)
Although we could recite what Teacher said when we clarified the truth to the people, we still maintained a strong attachment to using human notions to guess when the Fa-rectification would end. This has caused a large, negative impact. Because the timeline that we guessed at and told people from our human notions was not met, we felt that we lost credibility. Therefore, when we clarified the truth, we fell short and were not frank and righteous. A feeling of waiting with anxiety started to emerge. Eventually we were forced to recognize our shortcomings, and our righteous thoughts of validating the Fa and righteous actions of cultivating diligently were re-awakened. But in the meantime our loophole was used by the old force's dark minions and the evil beings.
On the one hand, the old forces manipulated people to have completely different understandings from practitioners, so as to make it very difficult for us when we needed to expose the evil party's nature and ask people to withdraw from the party and its subsidiary organizations. The evil forces purposefully built this misunderstanding among sentient beings, making it very difficult to save sentient beings.
On the other hand, our own deeply rooted human notions prevented us from clearly understanding how to conduct ourselves amidst the quick and drastic changes in the Fa-rectification that have resulted in improvements in practitioners' cultivation environment. As for the good things that have transpired, and the righteous Fa-principles and expectations that Teacher has taught during this time, instead of conducting ourselves diligently, we slowed down and sometimes slid backwards. In this state we prevented our enlightened sides from doing the right things, which caused us to lapse into a despondent and depressed condition.
"...the cultivators of the past didn't dare to slack off for even a second, and that was when it took an entire lifetime to complete the journey. So how can Dafa disciples-who are to achieve the Attainment Status of a being who is saved by Dafa and who have the most convenient cultivation way-not be even more diligent when they are given this most glorious honor of Fa-validating cultivation in a brief cultivation period that passes in the blink of an eye?" ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")
When we read this article, we regretted how we had been. We realized that currently it is a critical time in our cultivation to validate Dafa, and that the universal law has given us a great historical mission and responsibility. At this time, when we needed to be more diligent in fulfilling our mission, we became despondent and slacked off. If we do not correct ourselves and let go of our attachments, we will not be able to fulfill our missions, and be responsible to those countless beings who depend on us.
When we enlightened to this, we awakened from the despondent state! Study the Fa well, keep righteous thoughts and actions. We must meet Teacher's expectations and diligently catch up.