(Clearwisdom.net)
In "Dafa Cannot be Used" Teacher said,
"The key point is that deep down inside these people do not regard me as their true master. Their purpose for learning Dafa is to use it to protect things deep down inside that they cannot let go of, things in religion, or God. This is an act of plagiarizing the Fa. The intention of using Dafa is itself an unforgivable sin." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
I used to think that these words were aimed at other practitioners. I felt I did not have these problems. This thought stopped me from making further advancement and enlightening. But recently I had seen several articles from practitioners about their fundamental attachments when they started to practice Falun Dafa. These problems made me think deeply. Were my thoughts righteous when I started to practice Falun Dafa?
I remembered the last experience sharing article I wrote. I had said that I knew Zhuan Falun was a book about cultivation practice so I started practicing it. I asked myself, "Did I genuinely think that? Did I have other thoughts at the time?" I thought about it and found my fundamental attachments. I was afraid to die or get sick, and my mind was worried about it. Because I did not get sick when I practiced Falun Dafa, I continued to practice it. I thought that I could escape the cycle of reincarnation and cultivate into a god. In my mind, I wished that Falun Dafa would protect me, and I learned Falun Dafa so that Teacher would protect me from suffering.
A few days ago, my husband said that some people were like flowers in the greenhouse--they did not go through hardship like the others. I listened to him and I realized that I was one of those people. These words described my situation so plainly! I wanted to be a flower in the greenhouse of Dafa. I did the three things and knew that saving sentient beings was our responsibility, but I did not do it wholeheartedly or with compassion. I did the three things like I was doing an assignment. My problem was that I was too selfish.
In "Dafa Cannot be Used" Teacher said,
"Human beings! Think about it! What should you believe? What shouldn't you believe? Why do you practice cultivation? For whom do you practice cultivation? For whom does your life exist? I trust that you will weigh such questions properly. Otherwise, you will never be able to make up for what you will lose. When Dafa reveals itself to mankind, these are not the only things that you will lose."
Aren't these words meant to eliminate our fundamental attachments? Our fundamental attachment is selfishness to the core. "Selfishness" is like the root. All the other attachments are like branches and leaves. We may wonder why, after we hack the branches and leaves away, they grow up again. We keep hacking, and so we become very tired. "Cultivation is very hard!" Many practitioners think so. This is actually our fundamental attachment that we do not want to let go. Some practitioners "do well" for the sake of curing their illness, some to not be persecuted, and some in order to reach consummation, but these attachments keep us from truly doing well. It is hard to get anywhere while carrying these heavy attachments. Cultivation is very hard.
We should change our thinking.
Reading Teacher's Fa with human notions is not beneficial. For instance, when Teacher said, "Those who can make it through are bound to be Kings of sentient beings." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference") some of us used human notions to understand it and thought that if we kept up with and helped with the Fa-rectification then we would be victorious. "Being victorious" was the motivation to keep up. In this way we were not continuously eliminating our human notions and concepts, and we were not purifying ourselves with the Fa.
If we learn the Fa using human notions, we may think some words that Teacher said as "advantageous" to our cultivation and thus we are more willing to listen and follow. We may also think some other parts of the Fa as "unfavorable" so we do not like to listen or pay attention. We may even consider yet some other parts as "dangerous," and thus look for excuses to do the "safe" things. Doesn't this mean that we do not believe in Teacher's Fa completely? Isn't this a sign that we are not firmly steadfast?
Teacher told us that Zhuan Falun should be read fully and in order, from start to finish. I could do that on the surface, but in fact I did not pay equal attention to all the sections of the book. When I read about upgrading xinxing I was very patient and paid close attention while reading. When I read about stealing Qi, collecting Qi and the heavenly circuit, I could never understand it. I did not pay much attention to these sections, as I felt I could not understand it. When I studied the sections: "Cultivation of Speech," "The Attachment to Zealotry," and "A Clear and Clean Mind" I would pay much attention while studying. I developed a concept: "These words can upgrade me." Then why did Teacher say those words that were not about upgrading xinxing? I still do not understand completely right now, but I should pay attention to a point: We should calm our minds while learning the Fa. We should not allow our human notions to judge which part of the Fa is more important, or feel that we like to read some parts but not others. When we have this kind of thought, we should reject and eliminate it.
It is important to remove the attachment. Many practitioners who faced persecution were resolute and steadfast, and we should think of them with esteem. Why didn't I have righteous thoughts? The reason was my fundamental attachment. I thought to myself, "The old forces are strong so I should avoid the evil. What if other people do not understand [and turn me in] if I give them materials and clarify the truth to them?" My ordinary notions weakened my righteous thoughts. These attachments would flicker, and I became passive with wrong intentions.
Teacher said, "...only Dafa Disciples are worthy of displaying their glory here." ("To the 2005 European Experience Sharing Conference") This is the correct basis. Falun Dafa practitioners already have all the abilities they need to eliminate the evil. Many times we make superficial actions instead of having the correct intentions, causing us not able to understand the great power of righteous thoughts and thought we were weak. We have thus stained the title of Dafa practitioner, and disappointed Teacher's mercy.
I have found these attachments that need to be eliminated. I still don't fully know how to do well during the persecution, to validate the Fa, and to validate Teacher's words. I feel sorry that I haven't done everything a Fa-rectification disciple is supposed to do. But I cannot keep silent just because I have not done well. I decided to write about these attachments and expose them to other practitioners, and eliminate them as well.
