With Righteous Thoughts and Actions, Cultivate by Following the Fa
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, respected Teacher and fellow practitioners.
Looking at my experience in Fa-rectification cultivation over the past more than six years, I found that the lessons we learn, righteous thoughts and actions, and Teacher's benevolent care are all part of it. Now, I want to write down my experience to validate Dafa and hopefully give fellow practitioners some reference. If there is anything inappropriate, please compassionately point it out.
To fulfill my prehistoric vow, the truth-clarification materials production site was initiated
Because I needed it for work, I bought a computer and printer in 1998 and learned basic computer skills. After the persecution began in July 1999, I lost contact with other practitioners. In order to help local practitioners read Teacher's new articles, I went to the Telecommunications Bureau and registered a dial-in Internet account with my home phone number and my own name. I had no idea how to access the Internet or how to protect myself at that time. In fact, I could have gotten access to the Internet without going to the Telecommunications Bureau to register. There were only a few dozen people who registered in our small town. When truth-clarification materials appeared in the local areas, the police began to examine the registration file. I was the only practitioner registered and thus was easily found. Fortunately, my classmate in the Telecommunications Bureau told me about this in time, so I was able to transfer my computer to a nearby fellow practitioner's home before the police came.
However, that fellow practitioner was also monitored by the police and his home was not secure either. Despite his strong support, I moved the computer to a relative's house a week later for the sake of the practitioner's safety. In that overwhelming harsh environment, my relative strongly opposed me making truth clarification materials. I went to seek help from fellow practitioner A and rented a space from a friend. Therefore, our small Dafa materials production site went though three relocations within six months.
When the materials production site became stable, we bought a laser printer and a CD writer. However, the issue of breaking through the Internet blockage and downloading materials from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website emerged. It was not as easy to get access to the Minghui website four years ago as it is now. There were not many tools for breaking through the Internet blockade at that time. Being without access to the Minghui website and Teacher's new articles for such a long time was like being held in a dark room, not to mention the difficulty of keeping up with Teacher's Fa-rectification progress. I went to Shandong and Jilin Provinces to learn Internet skills from practitioners whom I knew before, and adopted the methods at our materials production site. No instructional material was available at that time, so I had to learn some of the computer skills by trial and error. In this way, I learned some basic skills such as downloading from the web, editing and printing, burning CDs, and sending and receiving e-mail.
Initially I worked with practitioner A, and later we were joined by practitioner C. Practitioners in the nearby city also gave us great support, making the local truth clarification work very effective. However, with the increase of the amount of truth clarification materials we produced, some hidden issues emerged from the busy situation. I was very busy with my job in the daytime and with producing truth clarification materials at night. Therefore, I could barely find time to study the Fa. Since I was occupied by all the things I had to do, I could not make myself focus during Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts. While many practitioners came to my home to get materials, I unknowingly developed some undetected attachments such as complacency, attachment to fame, and the attachment of doing things. The evil forces were staring at me to find an excuse to persecute me.
Eliminating the evil persecution with righteous thoughts, and escaping from detention with Teacher's benevolent care
Fellow practitioner B from another area gave out my information after he was illegally arrested by the authorities. I was once again arrested by a group of vicious police late one night in early 2002. Those police, who found nothing, brutally beat me and forcibly separated my arms with a torture called "Riding an Airplane." They grabbed me by the hair and beat me in the face while demanding that I tell them where the materials went. I denied the persecution with determination and refused to disclose any information about other practitioners. With Teacher's protection, I easily shook my hands out of the extremely tight handcuffs, freed myself from the police's close monitoring, and escaped from detention in the middle of the night. This was the first time I eradicated the evil persecution with righteous thoughts. To avoid future persecution, I became homeless and continued my cultivation under that special situation.
Looking inward with a peaceful heart, I found that it was my many attachments, being busy with doing things and not having a peaceful mind during Fa study that gave the evil an excuse for the persecution. The lesson was so bitter! In addition, I did not deny the evil persecution completely. Although I was sending forth righteous thoughts while I was so severely persecuted, I did not ask Teacher for help. Instead, I endured the pain while being severely beaten, treating the persecution as something within the human category. Teacher said,
"When you conduct yourselves righteously Master can do anything for you. If your righteous thoughts are truly strong, if you're able to put aside the thought of life and death, and if you're solid and unshakable like diamond, then those evil beings won't dare to touch you, because they know that other than killing you any type of persecution will be useless. The evil will have no choice but to leave you alone." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")
I did not want to bother fellow practitioners, so I managed to live in some relatives' homes in the suburbs. Having switched from a busy working environment to a quiet one, I felt extremely lonely. Although I studied the Fa every day, I could not keep my mind clear. One day I dreamed that while I was walking with great difficulty in a muddy field, a string of air bubbles emerged from the ditch at the side of the field. I poked a stick at the bubbles and suddenly a snake came out of the water. I was so scared that I moved several steps back. After I woke up, I could not enlighten to its meaning. I did not realize that due to the attachment that I could not relinquish and my laziness in cultivation, the evil forces were planning to continue persecuting me using these attachments as an excuse.
One week later, I went to take a bus to help a practitioner at another place. As soon as I got on the bus, a policeman on the bus recognized me. The policeman waited for me at the door of the bus, and ordered the bus driver to make a stop at the next station so he could take me away. I had ridden this bus quite often, and had clarified the truth to the bus driver. The driver knew that I was good person, and he tried to ask the policeman to treat me well. Suddenly, an idea came to me. I thought, "I must break through the evil persecution: Jump off the bus! Yes, just do it." At that very moment the bus was approaching the next station, and the driver started to slow down unexpectedly. I quickly jumped out of the bus from the rear window. I fell down when I hit the ground due to the forward momentum, but I stood up immediately with no injuries. The bus was still moving forward. Feeling a little bit nervous in my heart, I jumped over the ditch on the side of the road and ran into a muddy field. The scene was the same as what I had dreamed a few days earlier.
The policeman did not know that I had jumped off the bus until the bus arrived at the station. He gathered many police officers to go after me. I took a taxi and broke through the traffic blockade with Teacher's benevolent care. I broke through the evil persecution again and dissolved myself into the great current of Fa-rectification. I felt a little swelling on my wrist on the second day, but completely recovered by the third day. I knew this was because Teacher had endured much more hardship for me. I could not describe how grateful I felt to Him in my heart.
On the second day, a lot of police officers searched all the villages near the bus station, thinking that I must have been injured from jumping off the bus. Those police who couldn't find me became desperate. They threatened my relatives, tried to shadow me, monitored my phone, blocked local transportation, and issued an arrest warranty on the web. This group of police tried to use all evil means in order to arrest a good person who followed "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance."
I went to some relatives' homes in another place and clarified the truth to each of them. Some of them had some understanding of Dafa as a result of hearing about my supernormal experience. There were others who tried to persuade me to write a "confession" letter so I could get my good job back. I told them that that was a deformed way of thinking due to the declining moral standards. If somebody helps you get rid of illness and raise your moral standard, but now the benefactor has been falsely charged by evil persons, how could you assist the perpetrators to drop stones on someone who has fallen into a well? I have benefited so much from Dafa, I could not do anything bad that would make me feel regretful towards Teacher and or to my conscience.
Putting down the attachment of fear, and building up the materials production site again
Two weeks later, I came back to my local area and lived in a practitioner's home. Fellow practitioner A had been taken away and sent to a labor camp for a two-year term and fellow practitioner C had transferred the truth-clarification materials production site to another place. Since resources were scarce, we found a "place" to use as the materials production site. I used the word "place" because no one could live there. It leaked in the summer and there was no heat in the winter. In the deadly cold of Northeast China, I kept on making truth-clarification materials. Although the amount of truth-clarification materials I made was not much, and I needed to overcome technical difficulties, Dafa's greatness manifested itself in the work. The computer and printer worked normally in the minus-30-degree-Celsius (-22oF) weather. When fellow practitioners received the truth-clarification materials, they might not have imagined how hard their fellow practitioners had worked on the materials.
I also went to practitioner C to help him in break through the Internet blockade. Every time I went out, I had to pass by the detention center where I had escaped. I did not have fear in my heart, but felt sorry for the people inside who were still being controlled by the evil to do bad things to harm sentient beings. I felt sad that I did not have the ability to save them.
In the beginning of 2003, practitioner C could not break through the Internet blockade and almost lost contact with the outside. At that time, we received Teacher's new article. Teacher said:
"I hope that every Dafa disciple won't overemphasize the form of things. Your own cultivation, your own improvement, your validating the Fa amidst the evil, saving sentient beings, and steadfastly doing well going down the path that you should take are what's most important." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference").
"What is the path that I should take?" I asked myself, "Even if I become homeless and have to move from place to place, should I keep the mentality of being downtrodden and live this way forever?" Although I had the shadow of having been persecuted in my heart, I knew some technical things that could help me to step forward. Finally, I decided to get a computer and build up a truth-clarification materials production site in my relative's home.
Using almost one month to figure out how to break through the Internet blockade, I found that all of the overseas proxies I could find were blocked. Just when I was about to give up, I received some software from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website through an overseas Minghui Daily subscription mailbox. At that moment I felt like a lost boy who had found his home. I felt Teacher's great benevolence. As long as we disciples do things well, everything is under Teacher's control and arrangement.
Getting rid of attachments and making truth-clarification materials with a pure heart
The local practitioners didn't know much about my situation and they thought that those truth-clarification materials were delivered from the city. With the regular supply of truth-clarification materials, money also came in from fellow practitioners: 100, 200, even 1,000 and 2,000 yuan. I knew this was the money that they had saved from eating less and spending less. It also reflected their trust in the practitioners making the truth-clarification materials. The money was to be used to save more sentient beings. When I bought hardware and accessories, I considered how to spend money wisely on everything, from big things like a computer and printer, to small items such as a disk or a ream of paper. For example, a second-hand desktop computer only costs around 2,000 yuan, but a notebook would cost 5,000-7,000 yuan. The notebook is easily stored away after use, but buying it would mean using up all the money from fellow practitioners, leaving nothing for buying accessories. Although I could not go to the store for security concerns, I managed to bargain with the sellers to reduce the price on the phone. I rarely considered bargaining when I purchased things in the past, but now I had to change this habit, in order to save more money for saving sentient beings.
Last winter, several of us coordinated together and made a huge amount of truth-clarification materials such as pamphlets, flyers, CDs and small cards with Dafa messages. Several practitioners rode bicycles to deliver them to nearby villages. On one moonless night, fellow practitioners were amazed to find that the small truth-clarification cards (entitled "Golden seeds for peasant friends") shined with golden light. We understood that it was Teacher encouraging us to do the three things well.
Last month I was busy printing the Minghui Weekly every day and did not study the Fa with a clear mind. Several practitioners sent me feedback saying that they found that many copies of the Minghui Weekly in their area had been thrown into trashcans. I started to examine my own cultivation status. The truth-clarification materials that Dafa practitioners make are powerful instruments for saving sentient beings. Did I make these materials with a pure heart? Did I make them for the sentient beings to read? Was I attached to the amount of materials or to finishing the task while keeping myself busy? I found that I had these impure factors in my heart. Having these impure factors while making truth-clarification materials added these impure factors into the materials, which reduced their power in saving sentient beings and gave the evil excuses to interfere with the predestined persons accepting the materials. I realized that making truth-clarification materials is also cultivation and that only by studying the Fa with a pure heart and using the pure righteous mind cultivated from Dafa, can we produce more and better ways for saving sentient beings.
There are only a few practitioners in my area, and they have been severely persecuted. In the last two years of opposing the persecution and rescuing fellow practitioners, we formed one body and accomplished a lot. When information about fellow practitioners being illegally arrested came to us, we posted the news on the web within a short time. In the meantime, we also made truth clarification materials and posted them all across the city overnight, strongly exposing and eliminating the evil. Some fellow practitioners stayed home and supported us by sending forth righteous thoughts, some came to send forth righteous thoughts in the vicinity of the evil, and some helped fellow practitioners' family members in their work.
When one fellow practitioner was being persecuted, his family members were threatened. The perpetrators said, "Initially we wanted to release him, but now since the truth clarification materials have exposed the persecution, he cannot be released."
From this you can see how sneaky and afraid the authorities are of being exposed. They wanted to instigate antagonism in the practitioner's family members to prevent the other practitioners from exposing the evil. Finally, this practitioner managed to come out of detention.
There were also times when I was taken advantage of by the evil. When one practitioner was arrested, the information surrounding his arrest was that he had had an argument with some people in his own store and even fought with the other person, and therefore he was reported to the police. In fact this was just a false cover up spread by the perpetrators. However, I did not realize it at the time and thought that it was the practitioner's own problem. Therefore I did not expose the persecution.
I didn't learn the truth until two weeks later. This fellow practitioner had not had an argument with the other party. The truth was that the person who reported him was a scoundrel who owed others money. Therefore, he reported Dafa practitioners, who were clarifying the truth, to the police. I found that I had been taken advantage of by the evil and immediately posted the news on the web. However, the momentum had been lost and the practitioner was soon put in a labor camp and transferred to another place.
This was a very harsh lesson. Every practitioner being persecuted is a big loss to the sentient beings in the local area, and every rescue is a good opportunity to expose and eliminate the evil as well as to clarify the truth.
Wisdom comes from Dafa and the power is given by Teacher
Over the previous two years, I simply downloaded and printed the truth clarification materials that were edited by the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Gradually, I realized that some of the materials needed some editing before being printed. I learned how to use Word and Photoshop software for the editing. I started with simple things such as designing CD covers and CD envelopes. Although they were simple, other practitioners needed to spend time editing and proofreading them before printing them out. I thought that if I had edited them first and then sent them to Minghui or posted them on the web, everyone's time would be saved.
Therefore, I started to make all kinds of CD covers, books, and tapes, which had been published on Minghui in its technical forum. When I studied the Fa well, I could feel wisdom continuously come out from my mind. This wisdom came from the Fa, rather than being ordinary people's inspiration. Sometimes, when I looked at the book covers, I felt amazed at myself. I thought, "How pretty these covers are! Did I make them?" Then I thought, "This is the attachment of zealotry. I should not think in this way." Fellow practitioners also praised me saying, "You are so smart!" I said, "I am not that smart, the wisdom comes from Dafa and my ability was given by Teacher."
I found this process was also a process of eliminating attachments. I remember that after I edited and printed the book cover for the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I felt it was good enough. I wanted to share it with fellow practitioners and use it right away. So, I posted it to the technical forum. The following day, I found that part of it needed to be replaced, so I modified it and posted again. After a while I found something else needed to be modified. In this way I modified the cover five times. Last week, I finished a technical article and sent it to Minghui, but when I was trying to print it the following day, I found that I had used a rare font in the attachments. So, I modified it and sent it to Minghui again. On the third day, when Minghui published the article, I found that I had not changed all the files that should have been changed, so I sent Minghui four revised letters within two days.
Although there are technical difficulties and some unpredictable factors, the major interference to the Fa-rectification work came from the attachments of doing things, and impatience. These are the things I need to deal with in the future. Teacher said,
"So, no matter how busy you get, when you study the Fa you have to set aside all other thoughts--don't think about other things at all, just study the Fa. Maybe as you study the Fa the issues you've been thinking about will be resolved, since behind every word are Buddhas, Daos, and Gods. How could they not know exactly what you want to resolve and what you're anxious to get done at that time? Then how could they not tell you? But there's one thing: you must achieve the state of studying the Fa without any pursuit. You understood this a long time ago--you can't read the Fa with an attachment to solving your problems. Just read calmly, and the effect is sure to be excellent." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
Selfless and humble, willing to be an unknown hero
I lived in a relative's home for three and half years, seldom going out. Sometimes, I wanted to go out to walk a little bit, go home to see how things were going there, or go to fellow practitioners' homes and just sit down for a while. However, when I thought about my responsibility, I realized that I should not let any loopholes interfere, nor should I create more burdens for fellow practitioners.
It was hard to go from having a well respected, happy family and a good job to working in an isolated environment, not to mention the fact that I was still young. The pain of making such a choice and the pressure from family members who had been threatened by the evil, together with the unendurable loneliness, were all very difficult tribulations for me to pass. Looking through the window into the endless darkness at night, sometimes I cried silently. I told Teacher about the pain in my heart, but right at the moment another soothing thought came, "You are a Dafa disciple and a man; don't cry. All gods in the universe are watching you. Don't disappoint Teacher." However I still could not get over the pain in my heart. Holding the book Zhuan Falun and looking at Teacher's photo in it, I felt that Teacher was right by my side. I thought about how Teacher has suffered countless hardships and endured huge unimaginable tribulations for all sentient beings. This tiny bit that I suffered was simply incomparable to what Teacher has suffered. Why should I complain to Teacher?
The pain that I suffered was due to the attachments that I had not relinquished and my lack of righteous belief in Dafa. When I dissolved myself into Dafa, I felt the free blue sky again.
My son was very small when I had to leave home. When he came to see me, he always asked me, "Dad, when are you going to take me out to play?" I said, "There's no hurry, I will take you out to play later." Now the child has grown up and is in elementary school already. He has been cultivating in Dafa with his Mom for the past eight years. He is very disciplined. He does well in his studies and is liked by his classmates and teacher. I know that I have not fulfilled a father's responsibility. Yet growing up in Dafa, the child naturally has a lot of joy and happiness. Compared with those Dafa practitioners who were forced to be homeless, held in prison, or even persecuted to death, our situation is much better. How could we not do good work?
Ordinary people who know the truth have praised Dafa disciples as contemporary heroes who did not bow to the dictatorship and who used peaceful ways to stop the persecution. But I say that Dafa disciples should also be selfless and humble, unknown heroes who live for saving sentient beings.
Get rid of all attachments and walk the righteous path
I heard from my wife that one year after walking out from the labor camp, practitioner B finally put down his attachment of fear and joined the experience sharing with local practitioners. My wife told me about the situation when he was being persecuted. When he was arrested, he persisted in not cooperating with the perpetrators. The police used a low-level trick to deceive him. The police gave him a cell phone and allowed him to call his closest friend. He said, "I will not use your phone even if I want make a phone call." The police released him, and he went to the pay phone to make the call. He felt that nobody was following him, and therefore he called me to remind me to carefully store the materials. He tried very hard but could not get the line connected. Shortly afterwards, several police came to take him away again. He then realized that he had been deceived. He was very sorry for involving me by exposing my phone number to the police.
I felt quite uneasy hearing this. How could such a low-level trick successfully cheat him! I had always thought that he had been through the same kinds of tribulations as me, and I really could not imagine that after so many tribulations he could still be so careless. I resentfully thought, "Now you have been released, but I still cannot return home because the police are after me due to your carelessness."
My wife said, "Your mind is not right with regard to this situation. If at that time you had not been attached to doing things and had no loopholes, how could the evil have persecuted you? You should look inward at yourself. Fellow practitioner B had good intentions, so you cannot blame him. It was your own attachments and loopholes that were taken advantage of and used as an excuse by the evil to persecute you." I am a Dafa disciple, and I should have a great benevolent and tolerant heart. Many years ago, Jesus treated his disciple who betrayed him with compassion, and today Teacher has compassionately forgiven all the crimes sentient beings have committed in the past. How could I still hold a grudge in my heart for this tiny mistake? The light of compassion shined on my world again, and the haze disappeared all at once.
Once in a while, when loneliness came, I longed for my wife to come live with me and could not relinquish the attachment to affection. I often found some excuses for the attachment but would feel regretful the next day when I could not maintain my xinxing. This repeated itself again and again. My wife helped me by sharing stories of other practitioners. Practitioner B was arrested twice because he went back home to see his wife. Another practitioner who was homeless for three years was arrested the second day after he came back home to see his wife. Two young practitioners who just graduated from college lived together unmarried while making truth-clarification materials. They were illegally arrested a few months later.
I knew the principle, but always tried to find excuses for the attachment. Teacher's new article made me clear minded. Teacher said,
"All human attachments and notions that interfere with validating the Fa and saving sentient beings must be removed. For cultivators traveling a divine path, is it really that hard to get rid of those attachments that arise from human thinking and to change those notions? If a cultivator doesn't want to get rid of even those things, well, how is he to show that he's a cultivator?" ( "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")
I felt that Teacher's words were directed towards me, telling me that the will to be diligent should be firm. I still remember that six years ago we used to go to the practice site to do the exercises at 3:00 a.m. every day through the cold winter and the hot summer. But now, I was caught up in qing and could not free myself from it. This is not right. It is time to completely change myself, even if it is as painful as piercing the heart and bone. I did not know how to cultivate before and just did the exercises. I gradually realized the seriousness of cultivation. Only by eliminating all attachments and diligently making constant progress in the path of Fa-rectification can we deserve to be called "Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period."
Looking back at the staggering six years of Fa-rectification cultivation, every step was full of Teacher's benevolent care, detailed hints and immeasurable wisdom. There is no way we can repay Teacher except to follow His teachings, treasure the great opportunity and not disappoint Teacher's benevolent and painstaking salvation. Let's walk the righteous path and save more sentient beings.