(Clearwisdom.net) I am a 65-year-old retired teacher. After I retired, I had various illnesses, including cervical vertebra problems, coronary heart disease, brain arteriosclerosis, liver problems, rhinitis, and so on. In October 1998 when I was taking a shower with an electric water heater, an accidental shock knocked me down, and I broke my third lumbar vertebra. After that, I had to stay in bed all day long. I often had nightmares. I realized that I would be lucky if I survived only a few more years.

Fortunately a friend of mine introduced me to Falun Gong. As I kept reading Zhuan Falun in the following month, my illnesses disappeared without a trace. In particular, my back pain was gone, and my whole body became unbelievably light. Shocked by this miracle, I vowed to follow Teacher and practice forever.

In my six years of practice, I have deeply understood the importance of studying the Fa. While regularly studying the Fa with a pure heart, I constantly use "Truth-Compassion-Tolerance" to guide my speech and conduct. Diligently studying Teacher's lectures from the various Fa conferences, I learned how to cultivate myself. Reading every article on Minghui Weekly, I am delighted to learn from fellow practitioners and strive hard to overcome my own shortcomings. On the path of cultivation practice, I constantly try to "part with non-self." (Hong Yin II) When conflicts come up, I search within. My steps on the path of cultivation are relatively stable.

Since July 20, 1999, when the persecution of Falun Gong began, I have gone to Beijing twice to appeal for justice for Falun Gong. The second time, the police at a local police station illegally detained me for 15 days. After searching within, I managed to bypass the persecution and return home without problems. Since the first half of 2000, following Teacher's teachings, I started to clarify the facts in various ways to save sentient beings. Many times I delivered truth-clarification literature to various government organizations, including the courts, the procuratorate, police departments, judicial departments, police stations, and forced labor camps. Every time I did this, I was able to return safely, thanks to the protection of our compassionate Teacher.

In 2004 I began to be in charge of receiving and delivering Dafa literature. During the process, I learned well that every step in the practice in the Fa-rectification period is arduous, and for every step we move forward, we need Teacher's protection and we have to rely on our righteous thoughts.

The authorities launched a large-scale arrest effort across the city in April 2005. On April 19 I went to the Dafa materials site to get some truth-clarification literature. The next day the authorities destroyed the materials site and arrested eight practitioners. Yet I managed to deliver all the new literature to other practitioners.

On the morning of April 26 when I was at home, I heard noises outside, which turned out to be the police "illegally arresting" a practitioner next door. Too late to send forth righteous thoughts, I could see the police taking the practitioner away. I ran to my neighbors on the lower floor, who told me, "Stay at home! They'll be back soon to arrest Mr. B." I knew another practitioner was at risk. I quickly told that practitioner to leave and asked other practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts altogether.

Right after I returned home, fear popped up in my mind. My heart was in such chaos that I felt I was about to throw up. I tried to restrain myself and began to send forth righteous thoughts with my full concentration. In less than a week, my heart gradually became calm. "Now that our local materials site has been destroyed, I must find another site," I thought.

A neighbor told me, "You'd better stay at home these days. There are plainclothes police at both the south and north entrances. It is said they want to arrest Mr. B." First I was delighted that practitioner B had moved out in time. Then I realized that the plainclothes police also blocked my way out. How should I deal with this?

I happened to pick a recent Fa lecture in which Teacher said:

"The fact is, at this time Dafa disciples have to do divine things, because for Dafa disciples their personal cultivation is no longer first and foremost. Saving sentient beings and reconstructing the colossal firmament during the Fa-rectification are the purpose. You have to do Fa-rectification things and things to save sentient beings, so you need to clear away the obstacles presented by this environment and validate Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at Western U.S. International Fa Conference")

I was awakened that this was exactly what I should do. I asked Teacher to strengthen me. I sent forth righteous thoughts and started to think about ways to leave home to accomplish my mission. Yet my husband, a new practitioner, constantly followed me and tried to stop me from going out. "Three dozen practitioners are waiting for Minghui Weekly and other literature. How can I stay at home only because of my fear? Don't we save sentient beings?" I patiently tried to explain to my husband. "This is not cultivation practice. You're just looking for trouble! You're walking a tightrope," he responded.

Then I recollected what Teacher said:

"Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation." (Essentials for Further Advances II)

"With steadfast belief in Teacher, I must walk the tightrope uprightly and steadily," I said to myself.

Knowing that the plainclothes police had to go home for lunch and that they wouldn't be on guard in such a hot weather, I decided to give it a try. After finishing sending forth righteous thoughts at noon, I walked out of the building, got in a taxi, and quickly arrived at another materials site, where I picked up the new literature.

It is indeed hard to get the materials, but it's even harder to deliver it to other practitioners. While it was not difficult to deliver to two of the elder practitioners as they always stayed in one place, it proved to be very difficult to deliver the literature to other two practitioners who worked in a store. I had to wait until they were on duty at noon or when they were on the way home from work. We had to keep changing places. Sometimes I had to wait until 8 p.m. This was certainly a good test for me, an impatient person.

One practitioner lives in the residential building for city government officials, where guards were on duty all the time. Sometimes I delivered the literature to her in person, but most of time, I had to call her in our secret language and make an appointment in advance for the delivery. On one occasion I called her and asked her to go shopping in the shoe department of a department store, but our conversation was tapped. Hardly had I stepped out of my home with the literature, when I felt full of electricity and numb in my heart. I quickly realized that Teacher was telling me that the evil would be interfering. Since I had called the practitioner, I must not let her go there alone. Sending forth righteous thoughts, I walked straight to the north gate of the store and waited for the practitioner to come. Finally she came. I hinted to her not to go to the shoe department. I told her in a low voice that the authorities were here and that she must leave. She left the department store by the north gate, while I went to the south gate. I quickly found two policemen waiting there. In addition, I recognized them as the very officers who had arrested my practitioner neighbor. Recognizing me as well, the two officers exchanged glances. "My Teacher is with me. Nobody is worthy of testing me," I thought. Sending forth righteous thoughts, I walked away unhurriedly in the opposite direction. After a while I got into a taxi and safely left the scene.

As soon as I stepped into my home, I pressed my hands together in front of my chest. Thanks to the protection of our compassionate Teacher! From the bottom of my heart, I felt the greatness of Teacher that was hard to express in any language.

I clearly understood that every step was arduous under the communist terror. As Master said:

"Your path is, and I think you've all seen this now, actually very narrow." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")

Every time I received or delivered a piece of literature, I felt as if I were walking a tightrope. This situation lasted for about a month. Then the evil was gone. The environment became more relaxed, and so was my mind. But tribulation quickly reappeared.

In the evening of August 5, I received a call from my son. "You were reported to the police for delivering and receiving Falun Gong literature. The police are coming tonight to search the house," he said.

With the unexpected phone call, I forgot to deny the arrangements by the Old Forces. I simply hid the books and literature. My son came with a woven bag. He searched carelessly until his cell phone rang. "Hurry up. The police are coming soon," the caller said. "Composure Amidst Calamity (Hong Yin)," I recited. However I forgot that Teacher's picture was still hanging on the wall. My son quickly removed the picture and started to put it into his bag. Anxious and determined, I tried to get it back. As he fought with me, I slapped his face. Finally I took the picture back.

After my son left, I locked our door and calmed down. My husband also said that he was not afraid. "The evil must be tricking us," I thought. Soon someone knocked at the door. I thought it was the authorities. It was my daughter instead. She wanted me to live with her for a few days. Despite my refusal, she insisted that I stay with her. I finally agreed.

The first night at her home I could not sleep at all. In addition to sending forth righteous thoughts on time, I began to seriously review the shortcomings in my practice and especially the recent incident. First, my initial thought had not been to deny the arrangements of the Old Forces. Instead I casually cooperated. Second, I did not pay Teacher enough respect. I should have thought of protecting Teacher's picture first. I was at fault when my son fought with me for the picture. Third, I did not have enough compassion and tolerance. I was impatient. The root cause for the lack of understanding of the facts about Falun Gong among my family members was my own demon-nature. Finally, I tended to be too engrossed and to show off when the situation was more relaxed. It manifested in my attachment to complacency, resulting in spirit possession when sharing experiences with other practitioners.

In the end I revisited if the cultivation path I had been taking was upright or not. I concluded that I was doing the right thing by correcting myself in the process of saving sentient beings and validating the Fa, and by denying the arrangements of the Old Forces with Teacher's requirements. The only problem I had was that I did not advance enough.

My heart gradually became more peaceful. I returned home in three days. I read Teacher's recent lecture one more time. Teacher said:

"Having gotten to where they are today, Dafa disciples have won the admiration of beings at all levels, high and low, and the evil beings are scared, terrified. Right now the evil beings are basically following, in an irrational way, the factors originally arranged by the old forces; they are being used and are doing things that interfere with the Fa-rectification. Some evil beings get up and flee the moment they are in proximity to Dafa disciples. Some tremble with fear, hesitant, while they do bad things now. So Dafa disciples should not be afraid, and they should handle everything in an upright and dignified way. It is the evil beings that are scared." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Manhattan International Fa Conference")

The teachings encouraged me. Once again I began to do the three things.

A week later, my son told me, "Two officials from the police department and the security brigade talked to me and ordered me to persuade you to attend their brainwashing sessions." As soon as I tried to clarify the facts to him, he ran away. Of course I did not take his words seriously.

One afternoon the following week, an official from the education committee of the city called my husband and ordered him to go there. After he came back, he said to me, "The authorities at the committee ordered me to persuade you to report to the brainwashing session." Soon the phone rang. It was the official from that committee again. Asked how he had persuaded me, my husband hung up the phone. Suddenly I realized that the reason the evil was in such a hurry to interfere with me must be because of my attachments. Over the next three days, I tried very hard to find my attachments. I found an attachment that was hard to notice. Whenever I clarified the facts, I was looking for ways to avoid tribulations. As soon as I let go of the attachment, no phone calls bothered me any more. Finally I understood Master's teachings in Hong Yin II,

"As you get rid of human mentality, evil naturally disappears."
"If disciples have strong righteous thoughts, Master can help resolve any problem."

(Provisional translation subject to further improvement)

"The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be." I must follow Master's teachings, do well the three things with the purest heart, and walk the last steps steadily. Following Teacher, we must make our Fa-rectification path a straight and upright one.