I Am a Particle of Dafa
From The Second Mainland China Internet Experience Sharing Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner from rural China and have been cultivating with my celestial eye open. Although I haven't achieved any magnificent accomplishments in validating Dafa like some other practitioners, I have walked my path with firm belief in Master and Dafa.
Before and After I Began Dafa Practice
I began Dafa practice in January 1996. I used to suffer from backache, leg cramps, arthritis and stomach disease. When I first opened the book Zhuan Falun and saw Master's picture I cried and felt like a lost child who has finally found his parent. I vowed to practice Dafa until the end. From then on, I conducted myself according to the standards of a cultivator, and all of my illnesses disappeared within one month. It's truly wonderful to be free of pain.
Before practicing Dafa, I slept for about 10 hours a day, and if I slept less than 10 hours, my head felt heavy. After I started Dafa practice I realized the importance of Fa study, but sometimes I was quite busy. To make time for Fa study I slept less and less, between seven and ten hours, and eventually about four hours. One day I felt drowsy when studying the Fa during the day. I couldn't keep my eyes open and wanted to doze off. When my head touched the pillow, however, I heard a voice saying, "a giant between the heaven and the earth, yet he is slumbering." I immediately snapped awake, because I knew Master was prompting me. The feeling of drowsiness during Fa study is interference and I must suppress it. I strengthened my resolve and overcame this tribulation, which only came up once or twice after this incident.
Once when I was studying the Fa in 1997, as I saw the word "cultivator," the word "outstanding" suddenly popped up, surrounded by rays of golden light, and I saw the meaning of Fa on my level. When I came across Fa principles in the book that I should remember and live up to, light blue, golden and pink lines would underline those sentences, and they would disappear after I memorized them. I knew Master was encouraging me to study the Fa more and conduct myself according to Dafa. I also saw each character in Dafa books turning into Falun [law wheel], and in the spaces between sentences were countless worlds. I saw my gong column constantly changing color, and I saw large Falun of various colors. I saw red-colored energy when I did the third exercise set, Penetrating the Two Cosmic Extremes. The mechanism for the Falun Standing Stance is snow white, and I saw the mechanism of the rotating meridians while doing the meditation.
On the day of the 1997 Chinese New Year it was cold and there was no heater in my room. I didn't feel cold at all sitting in front of Master's picture, and I was very happy. When I was doing the sitting meditation I saw Master's fashen [law body] smiling and sitting right next to me with his hands in the jieyin gesture. I felt so blessed that I was spending New Year's Day with Master. Master is looking out for us and taking care of us every second of every day. He gives us hints and encourages us to improve ourselves.
Fa Rectification Cultivation
Out of envy and resentment, Jiang Zemin launched the persecution against Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. That day, a few practitioners including myself went to Beijing to appeal. We were illegally arrested and sent back to the local county police department. The other practitioners were released, but I was detained for a few days because my home had served as a practice site.
On September 27, the government labeled Falun Gong as an undesirable cult. The next morning my sister and I set off toward Beijing again, but were intercepted halfway. We were first brutally beaten and were not allowed to eat dinner. The next day we were handcuffed, paraded through the streets and then sent to a prison. During my first interrogation I didn't know what to do. I thought I should renounce Dafa to get out, so I could again go to Beijing to validate Dafa, so I said "I won't practice Falun Gong anymore" and right after I uttered these words, I froze! Everything stopped, and I felt as if someone had removed my heart, and I was separated from Master. I felt I had lost the root of my being. I cried for a few days and I called out to Master in my heart. I said repeatedly, "Master, I practice Dafa. I am your disciple. I always will be."
Several days later an opportunity arose to redeem myself. The persecutors told me that whoever says he would continue to practice Falun Gong would be sentenced to prison. When they asked me, I answered that I would always practice. They told me, "You'll be sentenced to two or three years in prison." I didn't acknowledge it but I felt uneasy. I was afraid of losing access to the Fa if I was locked away in prison. After other practitioners fell asleep, I picked up the only copy of Zhuan Falun in the room. I wanted to read as much as possible. As I read the book my righteous thoughts came out and I thought, "I am Master's disciple! No one can take me away. I will walk the path arranged for me by Master. I am a Dafa disciple. I will never deviate from the Fa." The next day they told me that they would take me away the following day, and I didn't acknowledge it. I thought, "I am gold. I firmly believe in Master and Dafa." Because of Master's compassion and the power of Dafa they failed to sentence me to prison.
Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
I took sending forth righteous thoughts very seriously when Master first told us to do it. I sent forth righteous thoughts seven or eight times per day, and sometimes even more. When I first sent forth righteous thoughts I was angry and I wanted to eliminate the evil all at once. Once when I sent forth righteous thoughts I saw in front of me a bright red and transparent word "compassion," about ten floors tall. I realized Master was telling me to be compassionate but I couldn't do it, until Master again prompted me. Another time when I sent forth righteous thoughts I saw many Buddhas sitting in a circle with me in the middle. They all erected their palms and every one of their cells emanated compassion and harmony. From then on my heart became calm and compassionate.
Sometimes when I sent forth righteous thoughts I saw sacred infants flying out of my palms in the lotus gesture. Each infant was about one inch tall. They sat on top of pink lotus flowers and we eliminated the evil together. Once I felt sickly and didn't want to get up to send forth righteous thoughts at midnight. I remembered incarcerated fellow practitioners who are studying the Fa, doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, even as they are persecuted in prison. I remembered fellow practitioners abroad who hold candlelight vigils to support us. How can I refuse to get up just because of a slight discomfort? Maybe each time we send forth righteous thoughts, the persecution of incarcerated fellow practitioners would lessen. All of us are Master's disciples. I leaned against the wall and sent forth righteous thoughts. I felt great the next day.
I am deeply convinced that if we study the Fa well, our minds will be calm when we send forth righteous thoughts. The magnificence of righteous thoughts is brought into force and we will be surrounded by powerful energy. Among the practitioners I know, many of them don't take sending forth righteous thoughts seriously, and many don't do it at the four set times each day. Fellow practitioners: only by sending forth righteous thoughts as a whole body will we obtain the unlimited power of Dafa. I think sending forth righteous thoughts is a higher and selfless privilege Master and Dafa have endowed us with. I am enjoying everything Master has given me, including the powerful energy and boundless wisdom Dafa has given me. I am using the powerful righteous thoughts Master and Dafa have given me to eliminate all evil that disrupts Dafa, and to correct myself.
Clarifying the Truth
When I first started to clarify the truth I was anxious and became upset whenever someone badmouthed Dafa. Through calmly studying the Fa I realized that I should be patient and rescue sentient beings with compassion. My parents-in-law watched the self-immolation videotape the government made, and they were frightened out of their wits. They told my husband to watch over me, and they refused to listen to me. I didn't complain, and I was considerate of them in everything I did. Soon, they changed their minds, and my father-in-law said to people, "My daughter-in-law is such a nice woman. She doesn't practice Falun Gong for nothing. Her teacher taught her to be a good person, because she is nothing like what is shown on TV! Those TV programs are lying to us commoners!" When our relatives visit us at home I clarify the truth to them and my parents-in-law back me up.
Sometimes I accompany my husband on business trips, and people ask me if our steelyard is accurate. I tell them, "I practice Falun Gong and my Teacher tells me to be fair, and not do anything to harm others. If you don't believe me, you can bring your own steelyard and compare it with mine." Someone brought a steelyard from home and compared it with mine, and they were exactly the same. I then clarified the truth to them. After learning the truth, some people wanted to learn the exercises. Some said, "Falun Dafa is great," and some condemned Jiang Zemin. I clarified the truth wherever I went. When I gave some people one flyer they asked for more. One day I clarified the truth to 22 people, and they all learned the facts about the persecution.
Looking Inward is Also Fa Rectification Cultivation
In the spring of 2002 I saw a part of my Buddha's body when sending forth righteous thoughts. I saw three rows of copper-colored srivatsas in front of my chest. There were about nine srivatsas in each row. There were also srivatsas elsewhere but I didn't see them clearly. I heard a voice, full of compassion, say, "You have only cultivated to the lower-middle level." Master was encouraging me to be more diligent.
In the following months I did well with clarifying the truth, sending forth righteous thoughts, studying the Fa and doing the exercises. Master again told me that I have reached the upper-middle level. I became complacent and wanted to show off. I felt so good about myself that I thought I was doing better than everyone else. Although I was still studying the Fa and validating Dafa, I clearly sensed my xinxing dropping, and I was irritable and often got angry. One time when I sent forth righteous thoughts after becoming upset I saw many people running for their lives. Some tripped and fell, and some abandoned the things they had with them and ran as fast as they could. I asked one person, "What's going on?" He said, "The Angry King is here!" I saw black waves chasing the people, and I stopped and eliminated the waves. I cried. They were sentient beings in my universe and I scared them so with my bad temper. I had been sending forth righteous thoughts daily in order to be responsible to all righteous elements in the universe. I had let them down! I let down the countless sentient beings who placed all of their hopes in me!
We all know that as cultivators we should look inward, but it's easier said than done. Sometimes when I looked within myself, I only saw a superficial layer. I didn't truly look inward, and I always thought I was doing well. I refused to admit having fear and I felt I did more than anyone else in the area in terms of Fa-validating work. When someone pointed out my shortcomings I would admit it but still feel wronged in my heart. I was quite selfish. One day Master reminded me, "looking inward is also Fa rectification cultivation." I truly looked inward and asked myself, "Do I completely believe in Master and am I completely following Master's instructions? No. Am I safeguarding the Fa with absolute determination? No, because sometimes I had fear, and sometimes I was attached to comfort. Am I fully worthy of the title 'Fa rectification period Dafa disciple'? No, because I am sometimes irritable and quick tempered, and don't do well."
After feeling superior for a long time I suddenly felt ashamed. I would never let others hurt me. I was hiding selfish attachments, including the show-off mentality and complacency. I blushed and no longer felt smug when Master prompted me. I experienced Master's boundless compassion. He didn't want me, a disciple with poor enlightenment quality, to fall behind, which is why he prompted me time and time again. I have been so selfish, although I have been practicing Dafa for a long time. All of a sudden, I felt that selfishness was so insignificant. It is the root of degeneration and I felt I must remove it.
As I looked inward, the profound and all-encompassing Fa again manifested itself during Fa study. When I saw the word "tolerance" I realized on my level that it means selfless compassion. I saw that as I assimilated to Dafa, tremendous compassion entered my mind. I shook as tremendous compassion permeated my whole body. I felt the power of kindness and understood the meaning of compassion.
Dafa Practitioners Can Only Rescue People
After the Minghui website called for widespread Dafa materials production sites to be established in Mainland China in June 2004, other practitioners suggested that we should have a materials production site in our area. I immediately agreed, and I gave a practitioner over 1,000 yuan to buy a small copying machine. Where should we put it? After thinking it over I decided to keep it at my home. I like the small copying machine. It is like my Fa weapon and it is quite cooperative. I produce truth clarification materials, including Master's articles and Minghui Weekly, which are needed for about 80 practitioners in nine villages. I never missed a single batch. I cherish everything used for making truth clarification materials. When fellow practitioners give me money I give it to practitioners at other production sites. In the past few years I took more than 20,000 yuan [from my savings] to be used at numerous production sites. I am not rich. At home, I only have an old TV bought more than a decade ago and several pieces of aged furniture. We don't even have mats in the summer [bed mats have a cooling effect]. I never squander money, because I know Master and Dafa gave me everything, and everything I have I should use for Dafa.
After The Epoch Times newspaper published the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I withdrew from the Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers, and all of my family members followed suit. Most of my relatives have renounced the Party, and I clarify the truth wherever I go. It works well when I first clarify the truth to people and then ask them to quit the Party. I was initially attached to numbers and I kept count of the number of people who agreed to quit the Party after learning the truth from me. I felt I would be considered more diligent if I helped more people quit the Party. I again became attached to my concerns. One day when I was studying the Fa the word "responsibility" appeared in my mind's eye. I no longer kept track of the numbers, because rescuing sentient beings is what we are supposed to do. Sometimes when I don't have time to talk to a person, my first thought is to let him learn the truth, withdraw from all of the evil Party's organizations, let him remember that "Falun Dafa is great," and "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance is grand," so he will have a bright future.
While doing the exercises, on my level I realized the inner meaning of "if one person practices Falun Gong, the whole family will benefit." I previously thought the word "family" referred to my family in ordinary society, but now I understand that all beings within and near our bodies, all beings within our dimensional fields, within our systems and firmament would benefit greatly from our practice. We are rescuing them as well. We are rescuing them when we study the Fa well. Although I am busy, I never neglect any of my responsibilities. I cherish the wisdom and abilities Master and Dafa endowed me with. I will use them to rescue more sentient beings. The inner meaning of "selflessness" on my level has again manifested. Selflessness is the source of eternal bliss and true freedom.
I've never written any articles, and this is my understanding at my current level.