Sharing Experiences with Practitioners Who Have Difficulty Clarifying the Truth to Family Members
(Clearwisdom.net) During discussions with fellow practitioners, I have realized that many practitioners can clarify the truth very well to everyday people, but they have encountered significant obstacles with their own family members. Some of their family members not only refuse to listen to the truth and withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), they also don't understand what practitioners are doing. As a result, sometimes they even speak disrespectfully of Teacher and Dafa. Fellow practitioners are deeply troubled by these situations. I'd like to share my own experiences regarding these issues.
Lack of Understandings by Family Members
At the beginning, I encountered the same problem. My family often said this and that about what I did to try and hurt me. Since they already knew the truth about Falun Gong and they had already withdrawn from the CCP, I simply treated it as a matter of forbearance from a cultivator's perspective. However, the conflicts within my family could not be completely resolved.
Recently, I suddenly remembered what Teacher said,
"Wherever a problem surfaces, go tell people the facts, and you shouldn't be doing it just to push the lawsuit forward but to tell them the facts. And if the lawsuit is stuck somewhere, then that must be where it needs you to clarify the facts, and then maybe the lawsuit will naturally go forward." (From "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
In "Teaching the Fa at the Washington D.C. Fa Conference" Teacher also said,
"When there are big problems I'll definitely tell you. That exception aside, when it comes to a lot of the specific things you come across, you need to carefully think them over for yourself, and it's up to you yourself to come up with a way to resolve them. Wherever there's a problem, that is where you need to clarify the truth and save people."
So, I thought to myself, "The reason they [my family] are against me, must be that they do not understand why I tell them the facts. This is the root-cause. I cannot walk around it. I must solve the root problem." Before, they would say bad things to me when I tried to clarify the truth to them. I was afraid they would do the same thing, but then I thought, "This is not a righteous thought; it is a degenerate thought. Dafa practitioners should have righteous thoughts. Telling them the truth about Falun Gong is to save them. What right do they have to say bad things to me? They should be nice to me!"
Just like that, I calmly explained the facts to them. At the same time, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors behind them. In my heart, I did not worry that they would say bad things to me. In this way I found the results were very good. They immediately understood what I said. Instead of getting angry, they were very nice to me. From this, I understood two things: when a practitioner encounters a problem, that is the time he/she needs to clarify the truth; a practitioner must have righteous thoughts, otherwise, the evil in other dimensions can see it and will use it as an excuse to persecute that practitioner.
How to Clarify the Truth to Family Members
Some practitioners may say, "I've told them the truth many times, but they won't listen." I think that is because we treated them as family members instead of everyday people. My own experience with my sister can clearly illustrate this issue.
A few months ago, when I first learned that people should withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations, I called my younger sister immediately. I told her about it and added, "You are my sister, and therefore I told you first." Unexpectedly she said, "You are being used by overseas anti-Chinese factors." As you can imagine, I failed to convince her to withdraw from the CCP. A few months later, I went to visit her. She picked me up at the train station. I brought up this issue again. At the time, she was very impatient and said, "You don't talk about anything but this." That time, we just argued and I failed to convince her again. The third time, I went to her workplace. Before I opened my mouth, she said, "Are you going to talk about it again? I knew it." Of course, I had nothing to say.
Just as I was about to give up, I remembered one question in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York,"
"Disciple: As the time of Fa-rectification rapidly moves forward, [I am concerned that] it's still really difficult to clarify the truth to my family. I find it hard to figure out how to go about clarifying the truth to them.
Teacher: Some students do find it really difficult to clarify the truth to their families. I think for the most part it's actually because you still see them as people in your family and treat them differently from people in the outside world. You should remember that they, too, are sentient beings in the human world, instead of thinking of them first as your family. And you should find out what in their minds is unresolved. Once you work those things out everything can be resolved. Under normal circumstances when you clarify the truth, don't think about having people learn the Fa right away and the results will be better."
I felt that this described my shortcoming. So once I understood the root of it, I called my sister over as she was about to leave for a long trip. I told her, "Why don't you sleep over tonight. I haven't chatted with you for a long time, and you are leaving on a long trip. We should take some time to talk." That time, I patiently explained the truth to her as I did to everyday people. I first talked to her about things she was interested in. The more we talked, the wider the topics became, and naturally we started to talk about Falun Gong and withdrawing from the CCP.
My sister asked me, "Sis, I believe that your telling people the truth and asking them to withdraw from the CCP is to save them, but when you insist on people declaring their withdrawal on the Internet, I think that this is just following a formality." Immediately I understood her issue. I said, "The fact is you don't need to declare it on the Internet, when you put a poster on a lamp post, heaven can see it." My sister said, "To post it on a lamp post; that I believe. Why don't you post one for me?" I was very happy to hear that. That night, she asked me many questions regarding Dafa. We talked late into the night. In the end, she didn't even want to sleep.
From this experience, I realized the reason fellow practitioners cannot convince family members to withdraw from the CCP is that we treat them as family. We do not treat them with the same heart as we treat everyday people. Only when we don't have the attachment of qing can we slowly guide them to successfully withdraw from the CCP.
These are two experiences I have had. Please correct anything inappropriate.