(Clearwisdom.net)
Before he began practicing Falun Dafa, my son had been absorbed in video games since second grade. After school, he would often go to video game arcades before returning home, and on the weekends and holidays, he would disappear after breakfast. It got to the point where he would often skip lunch and dinner unless we found him first and took him food. When I later found him stealing our family's money to spend on games, I was very angry. I scolded him for this and warned him of the harms of a life of pilfering. Although my son pretended to have learned his lesson, he could not escape the seduction of video games, and he fell deeper into them, eventually becoming so absorbed that he would not come home all night. He had abandoned eating, sleeping, and going to school because all he needed were video games, and he hid out in different video arcades to avoid our detection. Some arcades in particular do not have signs, so one would not suspect it was a video arcade at all.
After going out in the rain to search for my son, spending entire nights in taxicabs searching the city, and returning home exhausted, sadness, fatigue, anguish, and hopelessness would envelop me. The mental and physical anxiety was beyond words, and our past happiness was completely lost. To reduce the amount of time spent searching for my son, we were forced to purchase a computer of our own. However, my son complained, "Playing at home is less exciting, and it lacks the atmosphere of video arcades. In order to constantly improve, I have to keep current by playing at arcades.
Over the past ten years, the expenses of supporting my son's trips to video game arcades and Internet cafes exceeded ten thousand yuan. Even worse, my son was on the verge of collapse both physically and psychologically. He cared for nothing but games, and because of his playing at night and sleeping in the daytime, he only ate once or twice per day. In addition, the overly stimulating nature of the games caused him to spend too many hours in heightened concentration, and the violence in some games sapped his appetite and his physical strength. He often stared at us blankly, with sore and dry eyes, and his vision became more and more impaired. He knew what it meant to continue down his self-destructive path, but there was no way to stop for him. It was like a drug addiction.
Ever since the start of my cultivation of Falun Dafa, my mind and body have continuously improved. Teacher Li Hongzhi says in Zhuan Falun,
"Some people will lose their temper in disciplining children and yell at them, making quite a scene. You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well."
I calmly looked within myself and saw my excessive expectations for my son. When my son did something wrong, I often lectured him, whether he was listening or not. On the matter of my son's playing video games, especially, I often lost control of myself, letting my emotions take over and behaving rashly. Because I had once thought these actions were correct, I alienated my child, and this led to his dishonest behavior and unwillingness to stay home.
I began to alter my habits earnestly, apologizing where I did things that were wrong. I became more understanding when it came to school, and I tried to help him improve when he received low test scores instead of berating him. No matter what mistakes my son made, I always explained the consequences of his actions in a calm, logical, and empathetic manner to him. After finding him in Internet cafes, I would first prepare food for him and allow him to rest before having him look at his mistakes. Instead of passing judgments based on my own passions and opinions as I had once done, I explained the choices based on my own experiences and allowed my son to make his own decisions, which I would then respect. More importantly, I replenished my son's heart with Truth, Compassion, and Forbearance, and I led my life that way as an example for him.
Slowly, his closed heart opened up to me, and we began to talk on all kinds of subjects. Later, he asked to study the Fa and to give up video games for the sake of doing better in school. When I was detained illegally for holding firmly to my belief in Falun Gong, I wrote often to my son, encouraging him, and upon my arrival home, I apologized for not being there for him. He replied, "The attention paid to my living and other such material considerations do not matter much. You have given me something other mothers cannot offer." I felt then that our relationship had gotten to a place that I had never imagined possible.
The words my son spoke were a pleasant surprise for me, and I realized that my son had grown up. Although I did not provide in his childhood, as other mothers may, a great deal of material and living comforts, I gave him Falun Dafa's truly righteous way of leading one's life. It is what allows one to find courage and conviction in times of hardship, and improve and elevate even amidst misfortune and hardship. My son explained sincerely, "If my mother had not learned Falun Dafa and changed her temperament when educating me, our relationship would have disintegrated long ago, and the results of such a separation are unimaginable." In short, without Falun Dafa, my son and I would not have the happiness we share today.
