Recognizing Selfishness in My Thoughts
My daughter caught pneumonia again. I knew that the old forces and dark minions were trying to distract me from my righteous thoughts and Fa study, so that they could have it their way.
So every time I sent forth righteous thoughts, I focused on eliminating the old forces and the dark minions. However, after two days, my daughter's coughing had not subsided and had only become worse.
During the night, my daughter's coughing was even more disturbing, and my heart was pained by every sound she made. It was in the midst of those disturbances that I saw my deeply embedded selfishness.
I recalled that each time when I heard about a new case of our fellow practitioners being persecuted, I was unmoved, or rather indifferent, and each time when I helped by sending righteous thoughts, I showed no concern about the results. It was not a question of my level of attainment--a link was definitely missing between our hearts. Actually, sending righteous thoughts had become something of a routine. Moreover, whenever I was asked to help with other Dafa work, I was reluctant and often tried to find excuses to defer the work until later.
How selfish I had been! Yet I had been afraid to face the issue directly. But fear is no excuse for not facing up to our selfishness. This selfishness is embedded in all our thoughts, and it tightly binds us to our human thoughts and wishes.
When I finally cast off my shackles and faced the selfish thoughts directly, my daughter's cough simply disappeared.