(Clearwisdom.net July 30, 2003)

I was involved in a traffic accident a few days ago. With the help of fellow practitioners, I have enlightened about some xinxing issues involved in the situation.

The accident happened like this: I was riding my bike through an intersection, and a motorcycle knocked me down. The woman riding the motorcycle cursed at me, and asked me to pay for her losses. I thought it was fine to pay her, so I went to get enough money, sending it to her with 2 truth clarifying VCDs. I told her we cultivators do not care about personal gain or loss, Falun Dafa is good, and the like.

I thought I did well, but when I shared the experience with fellow practitioners, I suddenly found out why I could not end the tribulations with my family.

My fellow practitioners reminded me that Master has not given us any personal cultivation trials after July 20, 1999. This accident is the arrangement of old forces, that I should negate it. The lady hit me while riding her motorcycle, and yet she insisted on me paying her losses. Another practitioner pointed out that this is a form of bullying me. I should not follow her even according to the ordinary society's principles. Speaking from the perspective of compassion, we should not let her create more karma by doing wrong deeds in the maze. Fellow practitioners pointed out seriously my way of treating this accident did not confirm with Dafa -- "Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance." I recalled an article on Clearwisdom, "What is True Kindness (Shan) and Master's Comments: Fa-Rectification and Cultivation" (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2001/7/8/12053.html)

From sharing with other practitioners, I found something I was attached to for a long time; that is, the point from which I consider things is unclear. I did not think from the standpoint of the big picture of Fa-rectification, but stopped at the personal cultivation level, resulting in my validating Dafa not being powerful enough, not convincing, and causing much interference from my family members. For instance, I never bargained or cared enough about product quality when shopping, as I thought I was not calculating personal gains. I did not put enough energy into my daily work, so I never did a good job in my post at work. Master said,

"If a Dafa disciple cannot validate the Fa, then he is not a Dafa disciple." (Essentials for Further Advancement II, On 'The Dignity of Dafa') "

A Dafa disciple who fails to achieve the effect of safeguarding and upholding Dafa has no way of reaching Consummation,..."

(Essentials for Further Advancement II, Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples)

Now I know that Master was talking about me also.

I remember that one month after I began practicing Falun Dafa, I had to face the beginning of the evil persecution in July 1999. I had not put straight the relationship between personal cultivation and Fa-rectification. I wasted 20 months of precious time of cultivation under the evil enlightenment's interference. After I came back to Fa-rectification period cultivation, I had not fundamentally negated the old force's arrangements, and had fear. The demon-nature of my family members was used by the old forces to interfere with me, causing lots of trouble. My righteous thoughts were not strong enough facing that hardship, and I hardly studied the Fa.

I found my loopholes from this sharing and Fa-study. I found a fundamental attachment--I walked into Dafa intending to avoid conflicts among ordinary people. This intention manifested in me as a lack of understanding of "Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance." I could not let go of everything to safeguard the Truth of the universe under the evil pressure. I was selfish; I only wanted to benefit from Dafa but did not want to sacrifice for Dafa. I held on to ordinary people's stuff when pursuing gains. Now I know that I did not have a good understanding of the relationship between personal cultivation and Fa-rectification amidst conflicts and tribulations. I did not negate the old forces' arrangements with righteous thoughts and righteous belief. These were all caused by lack of Fa-study, and I was not being responsible to Dafa, to myself, and to others.

I will try hard to do well from now on, catching up. I want to advance diligently with the one body of Dafa disciples and catch up with the process of Fa-rectification.