On My Way Home

(Clearwisdom.net) Ever since I was young, I have been very sentimental, particular in relationships. That's why I have had a lot of tribulations in this regard in my cultivation. A very big part of my reason to study the Fa was also due to emotions. My boyfriend at that time said to me shortly after he started practicing that this was what he had been looking for all his life, and he would start cultivating, all the way until the end. He also said: "Now I've chosen cultivation." This will for sure cause huge differences in our life goals. You're still young. You can still go for other options. Do what you think is right! What he implied was I should either cultivate with him or find another good man to marry. By that time, I did not know that he said those words because he did not have a deeper understanding of the Fa. I was so upset hearing those words. But at the same time, I started to think about one thing--although I didn't know about being resolute--when I saw him so persistent in this Fa, I was very surprised! What was it that could make a person change so much within such a short period of time? On the other hand, I couldn't let go of this relationship. I thought since he was so strong about it, it would have no effect if I objected. So instead, I tried to understand what it was. To my surprise, this change of notion not only resulted in a marriage but also helped me start my journey of cultivation.

I read Zhuan Falun a few dozen times in the first year. But every time I read it, I felt I had never read it before, since I could see many new things that I never saw before. At that time, I didn't know what was happening to me. How come everyone else had experience and insights to share and only I couldn't even say a word? In our sharing, the assistant asked me to try to tell everyone what I had experienced, and I couldn't say anything. I could only tell others what my name was and other self introductory items. I was thinking this must have been a result of my poor enlightenment quality and low intelligence. So, I decided to spend more time studying the Fa than others to catch up with them. This period of Fa studying laid a solid foundation for my later work in clarifying the truth.

As my Fa study continued and as I kept reading stories on Clearwisdom net of practitioners being inhumanely tortured in Mainland, I felt heavier and heavier in my heart. I didn't know how to end all this. Particularly when I first read about Zhou Zhicang -- a practitioner in Heilongjiang Province -- being tortured to death, I was deeply shocked. When I read about the tortures he had gone through, my entire body couldn't help shivering. My tears gushed out. I was very upset--why would anyone want to kill these cultivators? Good people like them should not have been treated that way! I knew there was nothing wrong with the Zhen-Shan-Ren (Truthfulness, Benevolence, Forbearance) I was cultivating. At that time, the concept about assisting Master in Fa-rectification was not very clear to me. I only felt such a good Fa should not have been mistreated. So I started introducing Dafa to people around me, and telling them the truth as I knew it.

After that, I traveled around the world, clarifying the truth to misinformed people. Wherever there was a need to clarify the truth, I would be there. After a while, I felt that those things could not really help practitioners in China because they were still being severely tortured. These practitioners are like my family members. Although I've never met them, we cultivate the same Fa! This is the strongest predestined relationship! It pained my heart seeing that they were still enduring all this. I wanted to put an end to it but didn't know how. One day, I studied the Fa and read Master's scripture "The Effect of Righteous Thoughts." Teacher said: "In order to lessen the persecution of Dafa and Dafa disciples, I have asked disciples to send forth righteous thoughts to clear away the damage these beings have deliberately done to the Fa-rectification, thereby lessening what Dafa disciples should not endure during the persecution and, at the same time, saving all beings and consummating Dafa disciples' paradises." I suddenly understood something! Master already told me what to do. It was just I didn't realize it! I started to do my best to send forth righteous thoughts at every hour. This is a helpful means given to Dafa disciples during this special historic period. I believe I have such an ability because I am a Dafa disciple! After work, I persist in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, sending forth righteous thoughts and doing some Dafa work.

As the Fa-rectification progresses further, there is more and more Dafa work, and there are more and more channels to clarify the truth. One day, I stood behind my husband watching him writing responses using BBS. I was very envious because he could directly clarify the truth to the Chinese people. I never imagined using this approach because at that time I didn't even know where to push to turn the computer on. At this moment, he suddenly turned around and said to me: you can do this, too. I then said to myself: let's give it a try then! Thus I started to clarify the truth on the Internet.

The first step was always difficult. Many fears surfaced: my typing is too slow, my understanding of Fa is too shallow to clarify the truth well, and etc. Actually my own notions were hindering myself. Mainland Dafa practitioners are still trying their best to save more sentient beings under tremendous pressure. I would have no excuse not to do well living in such a relaxed environment. Once I broke through my notions, clarifying the truth became much easier.

When I began by posting articles in forums, many people cursed. Sometimes I didn't even know how to respond. When I read the responses from other practitioners, I saw that they were able to maintain their compassion and kindness facing slanderous remarks. They reasoned with them calmly and rationally. Every sentence was so convincing and right on the spot. I couldn't even help shouting "great!" This also allowed me to see where I lagged behind. I knew that was caused by my not clearly understanding relevant Fa principles. At the same time, I felt that Dafa practitioners from all over the world are one indestructible entity: wherever there are gaps, some practitioners would go there and fill it.

As my typing speed improved, I started to chat on line. But the dirty language in the chat room became a big test for me, a person who never had experience of chatting online. Base and dirty language, along with lies, filled the chat rooms. During that period of time, I had fears every time getting on line. One day, I was reading lecture 9 of Zhuan Falun, in which Master says: "The complex environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more complex it is, the greater the persons it will produce. If one can elevate oneself above and beyond it, one's cultivation will be the most solid." I immediately understood. "That's right! Isn't this what I'm going through now?" Since then, I've accepted every challenge with a smile because I know I'm not alone on this road--Master is watching over me all the time! Having Master and the Fa, I have nothing to fear!

My own cultivation state also plays a decisive role. When I was able to clarify the truth with a pure state of mind, others unconditionally accepted whatever I had said. But when my cultivation state was not good, it didn't matter how beautifully I said things or how much my words made sense, they would just not understand. Some even cursed at me. My keyboard even turned against me. When I wanted to type Chinese characters, it would display English words. Sometimes it displayed nothing. When these things happened, I could only ask myself to continue to improve within the Fa, and ask myself to elevate out of this incorrect state as soon as possible. I absolutely can't allow my poor cultivation state to hinder sentient beings' chances of being saved.

One day, I met a college student in the chat room. His mother is a practitioner but he is not. We didn't talk much, just left each other some contact information. At Christmas, I sent him a card. He returned with a letter, saying: "Like you, I've also been thinking about what kind of predestined relationship that we had so we could run into each other like that. I thought I was the most proud person because I have a mother who resolutely practices Dafa and doesn't bow to evil. But after all, it is my mother who is being persecuted. As her son, I have the feeling of being the most helpless in my whole life. I can't help her at all. When I saw the other day you were trying hard to clarify the truth to people in the chat room, I felt grateful. I was even more grateful for the predestined relationship we had that allowed us to meet... Your tone was familiar to me as if I was having a dream. I know I should thank Master and Dafa... I hope when the Christmas bells ring, many people will wake up to the truth and return to kindness. I hope to really meet you when the Fa rectifies the human world..." When I received this letter, only one thought went across my mind: Dafa disciples in Mainland China are remarkable! They are indeed Master's good disciples! I'm so proud of them!

There was another time, I met someone in QQ. As soon as I mentioned Falun Gong, he gave me a dressing-down without any warning. And he started cursing Master. When I heard him cursing Master, I felt I couldn't take it anymore. At that moment, I almost lost control of my xinxing. But I knew if I didn't do well, the life of this being would be jeopardized. A few exchanges after that still disappointed me. No matter from what perspective I spoke, he flatly rejected it. At one point, I thought about giving up on him. I was thinking: is it worth it to spend so much time on one person? One time, when chatting in the voice chat room, I asked him: do you know Guan Guimin? He said: yes. I wanted to play one of his songs for you. This song is called "Coming for you". I was very calm then, and at the same time, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. After the song was finished, we were both silent for a long time. Finally he said, "Actually I don't oppose Falun Gong. I just didn't want to be like others, opposing it for the sake of opposing." I knew this being was starting to change. All that time was worth it.

As the truth spreads rapidly, more and more people have learned the truth.

Someone said: "I admire your persistence. Hope you will succeed soon."

Some said: "I have a bad temper. But I feel very serene every time I speak to you. I think it must be Falun Gong."

Some said: "If one day they go after you and want to kill you, please feel free to come to me. I will protect you. I have never liked these people all along."

Some told me when I said "a person's thought can decide a person's future," they knew right away I practice Falun Gong. It looks the truth is really rooted in people's minds.

When I see those lives that were once deceived waking up one after another, I feel so happy for them! At the same time, I realize that I must do better on the road of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. That's because Master said: "If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives, everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")

I feel the past year of clarifying the truth online has been a process in which I keep breaking through my own notions. In other words, it has been a process of rectifying myself. I clearly see all the steps I took. I managed to persist no matter how poorly or how well I had done. There are still many people out there who don't know the truth, many lives waiting to be saved. Our task is still very big. I hope to do better in the future.

Finally, I'd like to end my experience sharing with Master's

Hurry Up And Tell Them

As Dafa disciples tell people the facts,

It's like sharp swords shooting out together from their mouths,

Shredding apart the rotten demons' lies.

Lose no time and save them, hurry up and tell them.