Greetings Honorable Master. Hello everyone.
I feel enormously privileged to have come across Falun Dafa almost 5 years ago. From the very beginning I knew that Dafa was something I had been looking for. Since then not only has my physical health improved but also my entire life and relationships with others have become more harmonious. But do not think that it has all been milk and honey. It takes a lot to continually improve myself.
Since the persecution of Falun Dafa started in June 1999, I wanted to show everybody the serenity that comes with practicing Falun Dafa. I wished that everyone could have a chance to experience that inner peace so precious to me. Many things have happened since then and I have gained many new understandings. I would like to share a couple of them with you.
Ever since the persecution started, countless practitioners and supporters of Falun Dafa are doing everything within their own power to inform the world about people who embody the universal principles of "Truth, Benevolence, Tolerance," benefit society and their country to have a practice that promotes higher moral standards and improves mental and physical health. We also wanted everyone to see the evil behind the persecution and the outlawing of these principles that have been honored throughout history. We wanted people to see how horrifying this persecution really is. More and more people are taking steps to stop it, but in China, due to the blockage of information, citizens are continually being poisoned by deceitful propaganda of enormous proportions. Otherwise, who in their right mind would say that outlawing these moral values is good and that persecuting good people is beneficial to society?
So, I decided to go to China. With that thought, I knew that I needed to support this decision by having my understanding of it only in the Fa. There is no need to elaborate on how my understanding changed from day to day. One of the things that stayed the same in my understanding was that going to China and saying, "Falun Dafa is good" was not enough. It was only stating a fact and not clarifying the truth to those people. They still wouldn't know why Falun Dafa is good. All the people I see as I traveled inside China would not be aware of how the rest of the world perceived Falun Dafa and supported it. I then decided to go to different locations to talk to people and pass out flyers to those I couldn't communicate with.
Since I couldn't go everywhere, I had to pick a few places. One time when I tried to understand my role in this undertaking and the different possibilities of what to do, I realized that time is not linear. I also realized that a great enlightened being with his or her great Benevolence can eliminate all evil and interference in his or her field, whether it's small or large. The mere fact of his or her presence would rectify not only the future, but also the present and the past as well. So I went. I took with me all my Dafa materials - after all, so much of the righteous Fa would eliminate all the evil that would dare to interfere!
Before I left on my trip to China, I spoke with other western practitioners about their experiences in Beijing. The common focus was on improving themselves and eliminating evil before going to Tiananmen Square to clarify the truth. The way they prepared was to find a quiet place to study, eliminate evil and be discreet. I planned on preparing in a similar fashion. So I decided I would spend only part of my time passing out flyers.
The first day when I gave out flyers, I realized that the evil managed to sneak into my life and manifest itself as many different excuses - all of them wearing the face of fear. When I was walking around on my first day in China, I kept looking over my shoulder and was suspicious of any strange sightings. And I looked for "perfect" opportunities to hand out materials.
The most popular place to meet people proved to be the markets. As I was shopping for silks, it was very natural to give the vendor a flyer or perhaps discuss the situation about Falun Dafa. After handing out many flyers, I headed to my hotel so I could take time to prepare myself for the event on Tiananmen Square by studying and eliminating evil. But as I walked along the streets, new markets were opening for business all along my path. Since I still had flyers left, it was natural to take the opportunity to hand them out. This took until 11:00 PM in the evening. I was led to hand out flyers and clarify the truth rather than spend time on what I thought would be preparation. I realized many people wouldn't have the opportunity to know the truth about Falun Dafa if I didn't stay out in the markets passing out materials. I realized I was here to spend all my time telling the truth about Falun Dafa to the Chinese people. Traveling so far only to spend my time in my hotel room was not my purpose. I would miss the opportunity to offer salvation to sentient beings who had been poisoned by the lies of their government. The process of handing out the flyers was the process of my improvement. My entire experience of handing out flyers was peaceful and harmonious without any interference.
On one occasion, I saw a very, very old woman and I thought to myself, "She's been waiting for the Fa so long. This may be her only chance." So I gave her a flyer. That tiny flyer expanded in her hands. In this dimension, time had stopped. In that very moment, all dimensions were changing and being rectified. As she read each word, the past was being transformed according to her future, which was being established with her acceptance of those words. Witnessing this happening right before my eyes had a tremendous transformational impact on me. When I saw this, how could I not give out flyers to everybody? All the remaining fears vanished. I stopped trying to be invisible and became the attraction, as I was a Westerner. I practiced the meditation in a public park. Many people were taking pictures of me eliminating evil. Most of the children and many of the family members also joined me in this. As it was Spring Festival, all the families were out together having picnics and flying kites. I was invited to everyone's picnic. We had open and free discussions about Falun Dafa and the need to stop the persecution.
So when the time came for me to join many other Western practitioners in a peaceful appeal on Tiananmen Square, it was no surprise to me that I was not stopped by the police, even though there were many rows of uniformed and plainclothes police stationed at intervals on the way to Tiananmen as well as on the Square itself. Since I arrived early, I bought a ticket to Tiananmen Gate. But much to my surprise, after going through a metal detector, I was body-searched. A guard proceeded to pull out a banner from one of my pockets. Immediately, I was shocked by the contrast between this experience and all my previous experiences of not being bothered by the police. I thought, "How come my thoughts of eliminating evil are not working? How can such a grand plan, mission, and all my understanding not work?" Now, I can understand clearly that my success in other places was not just due to my improved understanding. The evil was in fact pulling back all its forces to guard its final position in Beijing. Upon finding the banner, the police officers promptly detained me.
It took me some time to pull myself together and to do my best even in that environment. When the police were taking me from Tiananmen Gate to the police station at Tiananmen Square; as we were approaching the Gate itself, time slowed down. As we were about to enter the Gate, I felt that I was simultaneously approaching many gates in many dimensions. That moment, it seemed completely natural to reach past a police officer, open a van window, and toss out about 1,000 flyers. The van stopped and I experienced something that I could have never imagined would happen. The police began to attack each other. It seemed that they were going to kill each other over who was responsible for allowing me to do this. Somebody broke it up and half of them ran out to pick up the flyers while a number of police officers promptly attacked me. Four or five of them were simultaneously pulling my hair and head, pressing their knees on my back, pulling and twisting my arms and yelling. I was so composed and peaceful through all this that I can only compare it to emptiness.
I felt nothing and looked straight into the eyes of one of them who twisted my forearm and tried to break my wrist. As I looked at him, he suddenly stopped and pulled up the sleeve of his own arm that corresponded to my arm that he twisted. With pain, surprise, and panic, he ran out of the van. There were bleeding wounds on his arm that corresponded to the grooves on my arm which he caused by twisting it. My first thought was, "Did I scratch him?" But I realized that that was impossible since I was holding on tightly with both hands to my document pouch which contained my palm pilot with many Dafa books on it. I actually did not have to consciously send forth righteous thoughts for him to receive immediate retribution; I just had to be righteous.
After I arrived home, when I look back at my experience, I realized where I departed from the Fa. I had a 9-foot banner on me, but the police found the smaller banner I put in my pocket as part of a backup plan. And then I thought, why did I need a backup plan? Did I expect of not getting a chance to pull out the 9-foot banner? By doubting myself, I doubted the power of Dafa. I didn't have the faith and trust as a disciple. I was part of Dafa, and that Dafa would rectify everything if my notions and attachments didn't get in the way. It became clear to me that taking a second banner "just in case" was a result of my human notions for doing things. When I began to read Master's new lecture, everything suddenly became clear to me. I understood that if my body was a universe with cosmoses and beings in it, then Fa-rectification was therefore happening in me. I asked myself how every word of Master's teaching related to me. I began to see that human attachments and notions were no longer part of self-cultivation but corresponded to things from the old Fa of the old universe.
In "Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America," (<Guiding the Voyage>) I recalled that Master mentioned something about how he taught the Fa to the old enlightened beings but they still insisted on doing things their way. If they hadn't done so, Master would have been able to completely rectify everything peacefully. And while reading the newest lecture, it hit me that I've listened to Master and have been taught the Fa, yet I insisted on doing things my way, the old way. My old ways were part of the old Fa, not part of the new Fa that Master had taught me. By doing things according to the way I was used to, according to my notions and attachments, I was doing things according to the old Fa the moment I pocketed the second banner, I trusted more than Master's Dafa. Because I trusted the old Fa rather than Master, the old Fa manifested in me, and I became an obstacle to Fa rectification.
Every time we use notions or attachments in Fa rectification activities, we use the old Fa to do Fa rectification. Therefore, Fa cannot be fully rectified and we are the interference with the Fa rectification process. So, by allowing old Fa to manifest through me while I went to clarify the truth on Tiananmen Square, I sacrificed that opportunity for thousands of beings to obtain the righteous Fa.
Dafa and Master's powers are boundless and the most powerful. As I recalled, Master can rectify everything as easily as a wood chip falling into a vat of molten steel. So, in our lives, if we do not have total faith in Dafa, and we do not completely trust Dafa, we will insist on doing things our way, with attachments and notions. I believe that if we had always fully trusted Dafa and Master, then our attachments and notions wouldn't have interfered in the Fa-rectification. There would be no persecution, and everything would have been rectified peacefully. But since we are already two-and-a-half years into the persecution, we need to finally trust in Dafa. In doing so, we would finally become particles in the stream of Dafa.
(Shared at the Boston 2002 Conference)
