December 6, 2002


It was not until a few days before April 25, 1999 that I began my cultivation. It was no easy thing for me to catch up with the Fa-rectification process. I could not have made it without Teacher's meticulous care helping me along, step by step. Naturally inclined to pursue the Way, I had been very interested in things like martial arts and Qigong. Despite a tremendous investment in time, energy and effort, my kungfu skill did not improve for lack of proper guidance. Instead, I suffered from messed-up energy channels and an increasing level of aggression.

It was not until I found myself at a dead end that I began to realize the mysterious force that controls my fate. By that time, I had acquired diseases all over my body, including headaches, chest pain, lower back pain, upper respiratory pain, arthritis and frequent bouts with colds, occurring about every ten days. It was a miserable life! My favorite place at home was bed. My favorite store was the pharmacy. I had to keep three or four kinds of medicine with me all the time. I got so familiar with my Chinese herb formulas that I could tell their names by tasting just a little bit. My wife used to call me the "super star customer of Chinese medicine pharmacies." You could smell the medicinal odor from my night's breath when I opened my window in the mornings.

Among my daily medicines were those fighting infections, reducing fever, clearing up and removing heat, sleeping pills and tonics. Another traditional technique I used was the "cupping" method (a treatment involving the application of suction to skin to draw out blood and pus). I used it on my chest, back, waist and temples. It was quite a scene to see the big and small jars lined up in a row. Who could take care of a year-round patient like me? I had to do it by myself. Sometimes I ended up causing big areas of blisters on my own back and waist. There would be a burning sensation when the areas where the blisters had broken touched my clothes.

I also had a bad temper on top of all my diseases. When I was angry, I would scold my wife and spank my child, giving them a terrible time. Their feelings towards me were a mixture of hatred, fear and love. My evil temper was worse when I was sick, because I didn't have enough self-cultivation.

From the bottom of my heart, I used to have an unutterable desire to go back home, and often felt lonely and insecure. Lying in bed, I would think about my childhood and miss the meals of grain I had then. But my loneliness and insecurity couldn't be comforted by visiting my hometown or by talking to my wife, much less by talking to my child. He was only interested in playing. I could not find any way out. This feeling made me sad and empty, in addition to the misery of my many diseases.

How I admired those energetic people! I felt energetic for only five or six hours a day, even with an early bedtime and a late wake-up time. I used to feel cold while sweating. My two blankets could be wet with my sweat, but I still felt cold. Shortly before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I went to ask for help from a person possessed by bad spirits, out of desperation. Now looking back at this experience, I realize that she was possessed by spirits in the low dimensions. She claimed to be a certain Buddha and bragged to be matchless. She also asked me to listen to her carefully because she couldn't remember what she said when treating patients. She usually didn't feel well herself after treating disease, and implied that she would like me to join her. I felt creepy, afraid and disgusted. The strange thing is that she would not feel my pulse despite my repeated requests though she did this for other people. I wondered how she could diagnose without feeling my pulse. She finally drew some magic symbols on fifteen pieces of red cloth for me. I spent 150 Yuan (about a week's salary for an average urban worker in China) for nothing.

As a matter of fact, the book "Zhuan Falun" had been on my shelf for almost a year, but I hadn't finished reading it, to say nothing about cultivation. I had been busy making money during that year. Out of desperation, I decided to try Qigong again. I used to think that doing exercises was the effective way of practicing Qigong. However, the person who introduced Dafa to me wasn't eager to teach me the exercises. Instead, he asked me to read the book first. I put it off because there was no practice group near my home. I tried looking through the book, but couldn't find instructions on how to do breath-control or mind-concentration. I thought it wasn't something that I could teach myself, but reading the book made me feel comfortable and relaxed. Instead of reading it section by section, I skipped through to read those topics that seemed interesting or reasonable to me. I agreed with some parts of the book, couldn't understand some, and couldn't believe yet others. Anyway, reading the book made me feel comfortable, so I flipped through a few pages at a time. One time, a colleague of mine mentioned that there was a Falun Gong practice group close to his home. He also showed me the "Falun Standing Stance" exercise. I tried this pose after going back home, but felt stuffy and had to put my hands down. I found the practice group one day later and started learning the exercises. My health began to improve after only a few days. I also watched a video of one of Teacher's lectures. The energy field was so strong! I can't remember what Teacher said in that lecture, partially because I couldn't understand it, and partially because I fell into sleep shortly after it was started. I slept now and then until the end of the lecture. It was so comfortable! Now I know that it was an adjustment of my body.

I finally felt the benefit of Falun Dafa since then -- the feeling of having no disease is so great! Since then, the sad feeling of being homeless from the bottom of my heart is gone! Since then, I have never sworn at my wife or spanked my child.