Getting Up to Speed in my Cultivation After a Slow Start

I live in Sweden, and I have practiced Falun Dafa for almost two years now. I'm a 41-year-old software programmer. I have two teenage children.

I have practiced meditation off and on for about 14 years, and before I started to practice Falun Dafa I also practiced a healing method for 3 years. I was looking forward to doing the next educational "step" in this.

But two years ago I felt it was time for my 16-year-old daughter to start thinking of other matters than clothes, boys, and partying. I thought it was time for her to meet "deeper things" in life. So I grabbed her hand and took her to a Falun Dafa practice site southeast of Stockholm. I selected Falun Dafa since their website claimed that it was free of charge to learn it. This was important to my daughter since she couldn't afford to pay anything (being a student). I had no idea of what Falun Dafa was, except that it was some kind of qigong and that it didn't cost anything to learn it.

There, we learned the 5 different exercises for an hour, and afterwards a practitioner told us that Falun Dafa is more than just the exercises, "it is a cultivation practice!"

"Snap!"

At the same time he said this to us, I literally felt a "snap" in my head! I had never heard the expression "cultivation practice" before, but I instantly new that this was something for me. Knowing without knowing, I knew I now encountered what I had been waiting for the last 25 years. A very strange feeling indeed, I couldn't explain it, it was so overwhelming. I had found my "thing in life" without really understanding what it was. Sounds strange perhaps, but this was what my body and mind told me.

I felt at "home,"

Later, I downloaded the books China Falun Gong and Zhuan Falun from the Internet and started to read. The very next day I went to my usual weekly group healing session to practice. It felt really strange as I entered the practice room. I didn't know why. Very uncomfortable! It felt as if my body was "itching" inside during the two hours the group practice lasted. The day after I had made up my mind. I phoned my friends and declared that I would start practicing Falun Dafa instead.

Then I continued to read the books; I read both of them in only 5 days. On the 3rd or 4th day my back was aching with a pain I had never felt before. It was as if my spinal cord was cut right off by a pair of scissors or chopped off by an axe or something. I could not stand up, neither could I sit nor lie down, and the pain was absolutely terrible. But I instinctively understood that this was a "cleansing" process I was going through, and that the only way to pass this was to continue to do the exercises and read - though I almost couldn't move! This condition lasted for about 2 weeks and then slowly disappeared.

In the beginning, I practiced at home, learning the exercises from the instruction video and the once a week training session. Not really wanting to meet other practitioners, I practiced mostly alone at home.

Later I understood more and more about getting rid off attachments, and I quickly opened up myself more and more. I started to engage in the truth-clarification process to expose the gross criminality of the [Jiang Regime] and joined other practitioners. Today I want to say this: I have never met so many calm and goodhearted people as among Falun Dafa practitioners! When we meet, I really feel that we are one big family.

When the discussion came up regarding presenting facts about the persecution in China to the Swedish people, I immediately felt that my experience in this area could be useful. During my fifteen years of working with software programming, domestic and abroad, I have associated with company representatives in all levels and in different cultures. This has given me a good understanding of how business people may think and act. I also recognized that a huge effort was needed to put together an acceptable "Business information package," to get understanding and acceptance from the companies we wanted to reach. This required a thorough document which presented only facts without speculation. Facts and more facts. Nothing but facts.

Of course, I was not alone doing this. I had important help from other practitioners with writing and reviewing the growing material. This was - and is - definitely a team effort, and this would have been extremely hard without mature teamwork. This work has helped me in understanding the Fa.

For me, it was important that we, as a team, as close as possible reached full consensus about the content, and this as soon as possible.

The understanding of "being one body" with the persecuted practitioners in China helped me a lot to overcome the moments of distress that sometimes came over me during the long and tiresome nights. My working experience definitely helped me through this 6 months long effort, since I knew that each small step would eventually bring us through this long walk (and it did).

As a result of this work, I am now also ready to provide seminars about the persecution and what Falun Dafa is all about, The importance of revealing the facts of what is happening in China cannot be emphasized enough. I realize that I am "fortunate" to live in a free and democratic country, and I often think that I may have been tortured to death had I lived in China.

We practitioners all over the world all do good deeds: some hand out flyers on the streets, some write letters to politicians and newspapers, some translate witness reports into local languages, and some make phone calls to China. I am impressed by them all, and feel fortunate to be part of the Fa-rectification process. It feels good to know that we all have the chance to reach so many. I will continue to do this as long it takes. Let's make this happen. The time is short. As Master said: "Hurry up to tell them."

But in some aspects I still feel like a beginner and that I have still many possibilities to improve. I am sure I still have attachments. Many times I have been disappointed in myself when I couldn't pass some tests. Starting in the middle of Fa-rectification, I also sometimes felt "deceived" in my individual cultivation that I was thrown into the truth-clarification process too early. I felt deceived since I never had the chance to establish a higher level solely from individual cultivation. In the beginning I just wanted to stay at home, "locked in" and practicing by myself. As I already mentioned, it didn't take long until I left my shell and started to help out.

Today I believe that it was not by chance that I started to practice Falun Dafa late--it was meant to be. I am like a locomotive, I start slowly but when the speed is up I do better. I hope I do well enough.

(Copenhagen, 22nd September 2002)