Experience Sharing

(Shared at 2001 Orlando Conference) Hello. My name is Amy Harris and I am a college student from Atlanta, Georgia. Like many people here today, throughout my whole life I have been searching for something deeper than what the everyday society provided me. I went down many different roads to try to find the truth, but all of them seemed to be dead ends. The last route I took was a long difficult relationship. Towards the end of this experience I finally understood that the co-dependent love I had developed was not the answer either. In June of last year after I had ended this relationship, I was quite lost and confused. It was as if I spent the last 2?years of my life under a rock and now I needed to really live again. At this time, I felt determined to finally do what was right. The problem was I had no idea what to do. The culmination of all of these feelings took place one night on my aunt's farm in Bahama, North Carolina. I remember that night so vividly. I was sitting in the middle of a soybean field during sunset with tears in my eyes. I was pleading with the universe to please show me what to do. I said I did not care if true virtue was against everything I had ever knew, I just wanted to do what was right. I left the field still feeling lost, but little did I know my prayers would be answered. Three days later I began a new job as a camp counselor and began talking with a co-worker of mine. He was a very interesting and from the very beginning we talked about the meaning of life and deeper spiritual issues. Towards the end of our conversation, my co-worker mentioned that he had been practicing something for the last 1?years and it had really changed his life. He never mentioned what it was, but he offered to bring me a book about it the next day. The next day he brought me Zhuan Falun. I began to read this book everyday. I did not quite understand it, but my co-worker advised me to keep reading and I did. Almost everyday, I would meet my new friend during our lunch break and ask him questions about Zhuan Falun. He was always there to help answer my questions and he never pressured me to read more or study his practice. I was so amazed at his selflessness. I knew this practice must be good. After about three weeks of reading, I mentioned to him that I would like to come out to the practice site and learn the exercises. When I said that to him I had meant to come the next weekend, because that weekend was the same as his wedding, but my co-worker said if I wanted to go he was wanted to take me. I could not believe it; he was so selfless. He was even willing to give up the morning before his wedding to help me attain the Fa. After practice we departed and I went home and he went to the church. For the next few weeks I practiced and read, still having doubts but holding on to the goodness I knew was in Falun Dafa. In the middle of July, I attended the Washington D.C. experience sharing conference. This event was so amazing. I had never met such selfless people. During this weekend I also began to really see the truth behind Master Li's words. After the summer ended I went back to school in Atlanta and went through a huge doubting period. I knew Dafa was good, but something was just holding me back. I just couldn't believe in it. Then one day a practitioner in Atlanta was sharing his experience with me. He said he went through this phase too and finally just decided to try it for one year no matter what to see if he liked it. He said before the end of the year he liked Dafa so much he had forgotten he even made this pact with himself. I decided to take his advice and became more diligent. I really did not have anything to lose. After about two weeks of practicing more and reading an hour almost everyday, my belief in Dafa began to grow and it hasn't stopped growing since. I am so thankful for Dafa, I can't even express how thankful I am. Master Li's teachings have really helped me see things so much more clearly and I am now acquiring a new morality that I don't just understand intellectually, I understand deep within my heart. Throughout my whole life I had always wanted, a set of morals I could follow, but never could find a system that I didn't feel uneasy about. Now I can go into everyday situations and see the events more clearly and to some extent know how to act in a virtuous, compassionate manner. Another aspect of my life that Dafa has helped me with is my family. For as long as I can remember I have had problems with my father. I have held on to years of resentment. It got to the point where I couldn't even stand to be around him. We had been to psychologists and they said the resentment and hate were valid and it was up to my dad to change his behavior, not for me to let go of my negative emotions. Therefore, I held on to the feelings tighter as long as he did not make any effort to change. After studying Zhuan Falun, I began to develop a new outlook. I began to blame my father less and look at my feelings of resentment and hate instead. It was hard, but I just kept trying to look at my attachments deeper and see them as apart from my true self. Then one day during the fall of 2000, I was eating dinner with my family. For the first time in so many years, I felt comfortable at the table. I could even look at my Dad in the face. I was so amazed, I thought those feelings would never reside. I even gave my dad a hug. These old feelings of resentment still surface from time to time, but I understand now that they are different from my true self and they are only surfacing so I have a chance to let them go. Seven months ago when I prayed in that field, I believe Master Li heard me. In Zhuan Falun he says: "When one's Buddha-nature emerges, it will shake 'the world of ten directions.'" Whoever sees it will come to give a hand and help this person out unconditionally." I wanted to be virtuous no matter if it went against everything I believed. Falun Dafa is righteous and goes against all of my acquired notions I have learned throughout my entire life. Every time I feel a little down and doubtful, I remember that wish that came from the bottom of my heart. I still want to be virtuous and a compassionate person and I believe Falun Dafa is the final answer to that prayer.