Reflections on My Appeal at Tiananmen Square

I am one of the 35 Western practitioners who went to Tiananmen Square. Since the incident, I have carried regret and shame in my heart about some of my behavior during the incident. On the whole, I know that my actions were positive, and at many times I truly validated the magnificence of Dafa. But when I was first taken away from Tiananmen Square, my heart was heavy with selfishness and fear. I offered almost no resistance to the policemen, and kept my eyes closed. When the police removed me from the van, I allowed my entire body to become limp, and still kept my eyes closed.

When they got me inside of the police station, I sat up and saw my fellow practitioners standing around me. They all asked, "Are you okay?" I felt very ashamed. My heart had held nothing but shallow human fear. While my fellow practitioners had bravely resisted the evil forces, I had cowered before them. Not only that, but many of those policemen weren't evil. They were just deluded sentient beings who could so easily be moved by the righteous Dafa. Yet, I had separated myself from them and not even given them the chance to look into the eyes of righteousness. I had not given them a chance to truly position themselves.

When I came to my senses, I made a vow to redouble my efforts to clarify the truth and validate Dafa to every person I came into contact with from that moment forward. I spoke to many policemen, and their hearts were illuminated. Many innocent people received their chance to witness the beauty of Dafa in the human world. Many of those policemen will never be the same again.

One lesson that I have learned from this is that we must never judge people by their human shells, or even acknowledge what is presented to us externally. Master only wants to see people's hearts. The evil itself is the illusion and before the kindness, honesty and tolerance of Dafa disciples, the evil is completely eliminated.

Another lesson that I would like to share is that we must not judge practitioners in China who have signed the evil documents. In the Washington D.C. lecture, Master says "It's really easy for a cultivator who's in an environment that doesn't have an evil field to say he can let go of life and death." In the evil field, even though I was not in any real danger, due to the attachment of fear, it felt as though all of my faith in Dafa had been stripped away, and at that moment I could not put down my attachment to this body. Master told us in Zhuan Falun, Lecture One, "If you are a true practitioner, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe."

To have faith in Dafa, we must have faith in Master. When a cultivator loses his faith, even for only a short moment, it is a very sad and lonely moment. It is like being cut off from yourself, from your family of Dafa disciples and from your Master. Under such extreme circumstances, the test of Dafa disciple's faith could not possibly be understood by practitioners in a more benevolent field. The disciples who endure the persecution and uphold their faith are truly remarkable. But for all of those who still have attachments and who have fallen, we must truly demonstrate our compassion and help them to stand firmly once again. I am exposing this demon of shame right now, for I am a Dafa disciple and I will not stop cultivating until the Fa is rectified. Shame and guilt have no place in a cultivator's heart, and we must not allow any disciple to wallow in its grasp. Let us utilize this old evil force to cultivate even more steadfastly towards Consummation.

"Strive forward together. A bright future lies ahead" (Hong Yin, unofficial translation).