(Clearwisdom.net) I was a bank employee, and had once strayed from cultivation and wrote a "pledge" to stop practicing Falun Gong under undue pressure. I also had enlightened along an evil path before and left blemishes along my cultivation path. In order to make up for my sins, wash away my shame and redeem the damage to Dafa, the righteous thought that "I must go to Tiananmen Square to rectify the Fa" developed in my mind.
I boarded a Beijing bound train on December 17, 2000. I arrived at Tiananmen Square on the afternoon of December 18. As I unfurled the banner "Falun Dafa Is Good" and raised it over my head, I shouted loudly, "Falun Dafa is good" and "Restore the reputation of my Teacher." I yelled without stopping. When the police came to arrest me, in order to be able to yell a few more times, I held the banner high with both hands and shouted as I ran. At this moment, I truly experienced and understood the feeling of giving up life and death. Although the duration of this experience was short, whenever I think of it afterwards, I still feel as though I am amidst the scene and my tears start to flow uncontrollably. After I was arrested, I was sent back under escort to Shulan City Detention Center and started an eight-month life behind bars.
After I was sent back to the detention center, the chief leaders from my work unit started to coerce me into giving up my cultivation. My branch director said, "If you renounce Falun Gong, the work unit will bail you out; otherwise, we will fire you and you will also be sent for labor education." I expressed that I was adamant about not renouncing Falun Gong and even promoted the Fa to them. The leaders of my work unit came to talk to me several times. I was very firm each time and relinquished all fame and gain. The leaders from my work unit saw that they could not change my mind, so they compromised.
Branch Director Wang, the third highest-ranking officer of the company, said, "We will not make you break away from Falun Gong. As long as you write a pledge not to go to Beijing, not to appeal to the government to stop the persecution of Falun Gong, and not to take part in any Falun Gong activities, the work unit will bail you out. After that you can go to work and do Falun Gong exercises as usual." I believed that this was a warped way of betraying my belief, so I rejected all requests that they raised.
Director Xu, the highest-ranking officer of the company, said, "Across all the branches in Jilin Province, just because you are the only person practicing Falun Gong, the provincial bank withheld 500,000 Yuan of end-year bonuses; are you being benevolent to us?" I said, "All of these are caused by the government; it is precisely because I practice Falun Gong that I have been performing my job well. I have been nominated as a model employee every year." My words made them speechless. During this period, my husband went to Beijing to rectify the Fa, his whereabouts was unknown (now he has righteously walked out of the evil place detaining him). My child was suspended from school for going to Beijing to rectify the Fa. The school said that if my child handed over a "fine" of 4,000 Yuan [the monthly wage of an average urban worker in China is 500 Yuan], he could go back to school. Since my child did not do anything wrong, why should he pay the "fine?" I told him not to pay the "fine." My child does not know how to cook and has nowhere else to go. Every time he visited me, there would be tears on his face. When pressure from all directions came down on me simultaneously, I bore all the various pressures and disturbances and surmounted them.
On January 16, 2001, I was illegally sentenced to one year of forced labor and was sent to Jilin City Labor Camp. During a physical examination, I was diagnosed with a heart disease so I was sent back to Shulan City Detention Center. At this time, the leaders from my work unit came to talk to me again, saying that now our bank could buy unemployment insurance policies (a policy where the government pays compensation to government employees laid off from state-owned companies that were in financial difficulty or bankrupt). The amount of compensation is based on the length of service. After the compensation is paid, the government no longer provides any pensions and welfare benefits. He said that if I bought the policy, I could get more than 100,000 Yuan compensation; however, I had to write the renunciation letter against Falun Gong. I said, "I would rather lose the money than write a renunciation." The branch director said, "You are really a good disciple!" He then said, "Even if you do not write the renunciation, I will still buy the policy for you. Do you agree?" I said that I agreed. Thus I went through all the necessary paperwork procedures to buy the policy.
When my document reached the provincial branch, the provincial branch did not agree to buy a policy for me because I was a Falun Gong practitioner, and said that they would not pay 100,000 Yuan to support me to practice Falun Gong. Then the bank leaders came to talk with me again and issued their last warning that if I did not renounce Falun Gong, they would fire me. My attitude was firm and I expressed that I would cultivate to the end. Finally, because I went to Beijing to rectify the Fa and persisted in not breaking away from Falun Gong, the bank leaders unreasonably fired me on March 16, 2001 on the pretext that I did not show up at work for five days. A fired employee is not entitled to the unemployment policy benefits.
After April 25, 2001, several law officials came to brainwash the practitioners who had been sent back from the labor camp due to medical reasons. They included the Law Enforcement Division of Shulan City Police Department, the Shulan City "610 Office," the Jilin City "610 Office" and the Jilin Provincial "610 Office." [610 is an agency specially created to persecute Falun Gong, with absolute power over each level of administration in the Party and all other political and judiciary systems.] When they came to talk with me, they said that if I renounced Falun Gong, I could resume my employment and be set free. If I did not renounce, I would be put under long-term detention. I stated that I would never renounce Falun Gong.
Because of this, on May 31, the "610 Offices" sent all the practitioners who had refused to write a renunciation to Jilin Labor Camp for labor education. Our practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts on the way to the camp: "The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos, the Evil is Completely Eliminated" and "Eradicating all evil in the Three Realms that damages Dafa, encompassing all of it and leaving out none." Thus, under the effect of our righteous thoughts, we broke through the arrangement of the evil forces. All of us were once again sent back for failing the physical examinations. After being sent back, we were locked up in Shulan City Detention Center. A few practitioners were released after their work units bailed them out. I was the only person left since I did not have a work unit. I was illegally and indefinitely detained like this. Chief Zhou of the "610 Office" and Secretary Li from the Shulan City Law Enforcement took turns to brainwash me. My attitude was firm, I was determined not to renounce Falun Gong. They had used up all their tricks.
Due to being illegally detained for an extended period as well as not being able to study the Fa, the thought of getting out became especially strong in my mind, it even became an attachment. I resorted to an ordinary person's method. I thought that as long as I did not renounce Falun Gong, it would be okay if I wrote a pledge "to not go to Beijing, not to appeal against the persecution of Falun Gong and not to take part in any Falun Gong activities." Then, I would be able to continue to promote and rectify the Fa after I came out. I intended to cheat my way out of this tribulation. As a result, driven by my attachments, I wrote such a "pledge." At this time, a practitioner sent me Master's latest article. Master said, "As a Dafa disciple, everything of yours is formed by Dafa and is the most righteous, and it can only be that [you] rectify everything that is not righteous. How could you bow to the evil? How could you promise something to the evil?" ("Dafa is Indestructible") Master's words immediately touched me deep inside. Though what I wrote was not a renunciation, it was still a compromise with the evil. This was disrespectful to Dafa! I immediately informed Chief Zhou of the "610 Office" that my "pledge" had become invalid. It was only through Master's timely guidance that I was able to recover the damage I had made to Dafa. Master is truly compassionate.
On August 8, 2001, the "610 Office"once again illegally locked me up in the brainwashing headquarters in Shulan City Mental Hospital. They were to carry out compulsory brainwashing. At that time, a few practitioners after coming to the hospital, expressed under undue pressure to Chief Liu that they would give up practicing Falun Gong. After I communicated with them, they immediately realized that they should have not done that and expressed that they would not renounce Dafa. Chief Liu from the headquarters found out that these withdrawals were caused because of my involvement. After consulting Secretary Li of the City Law Enforcement on the second day, he decided to send me back to the detention center for long-term detention. My fellow practitioners told me that I had finished my job and I should leave now. I also realized that it was the time for me to get out. A few practitioners decided to go with me. Thus, during the night we sent forth our righteous thoughts: "The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos, the Evil is Completely Eliminated," and "Eliminate all the evils that would prevent us from leaving." We asked Master to protect us to safely get out. At 12:00 midnight on August 13, we forced our bodies through the gaps between the metal bars in the headquarters and walked out of the devil's den safely.
Although I am currently forced to stay away from my home and wander around due to the persecution, I have returned to join the wave of promoting and rectifying the Fa. I feel very grateful for this opportunity.
October 22, 2001
