The Consequences of My Failure to Cultivate Speech
(Clearwisdom.net) Thanks to Master's compassionate arrangement, my cultivation environment is quite good. However, I failed to cherish it. Instead, the evil took advantage of my need to preserve my notions and my attachment to selfishness. For a long time, a barrier existed between me and Practitioner A. I was not able to coordinate with her. Even so, I didn't discover the selfishness that has been hidden deep in my mind.
We worked in the same company, and she was even the one who introduced me to the company. Over time, though, we developed problems. Since I looked outward instead of looking inside, the problems became worse.
When other practitioners came to share experiences with me, I always complained to them about Practitioner A. I felt I was better than she was and didn't realize that every incident was to help me cultivate. I didn't cultivate my speech and caused other practitioners to have negative opinions about Practitioner A. I didn't realize my selfishness was protecting my notions. Instead, the attachment grew worse, to the point that I felt sick of her.
One night in a dream compassionate Master gave me a hint. I saw how my attachment had fostered a demonic animal. It looked like a gray mouse about a foot and a half tall with a wide mouth. The mouth was like a big pair of sharp scissors that kept opening and closing in an attempt to harm others. I pushed my hands hard to cover its mouth to prevent it from harming others. I asked Master to help me. When I had such a thought, the demonic animal immediately vanished like smoke.
When I woke up, I felt both my mind and body were clear. I realized everything Practitioner A did in front me was actually helping me to get rid of my notions and attachments. I was grateful to her and no longer felt sick of her. I also realized that I had caused the unwanted divisions among practitioners when I failed to cultivate my speech and complained to other practitioners about her. I had generated that demonic animal so that it could harm others. It was Master who eliminated it for me, helped me to see my attachments, and taught me how to look inward.
Master's compassion made me realize that nothing that happens around me is accidental. It's all arranged for me to improve, so it targets my attachments. In order for me to get rid of my attachments and my postnatal notions, Master is looking after me every minute. Thank you, Master, for saving me. Now I have a deep understanding of why looking inside is the key to cultivation.