Finding Humility and Toning Down My Attitude
(Clearwisdom.net) Perhaps the reason why the sea can accommodate the rivers, is because it is at a lower place than the rivers. I have come to understand that when I can tone down my own self-centered attitude, I'm able to be much more tolerant and understanding of others.
Recently, due to my stubborn disposition, I had conflicts with others. I realized that I had a huge attachment to "self" and to showing off. I always placed myself a few notches above others, trying to occupy a commanding position and thinking that "the world's people are all drunk and only I am sober," as the Chinese saying goes. It seemed that each and every thought I had in dealing with others was permeated with this overpowering notion of "self."
I constantly displayed self-centered behavior, thinking that I was always right and not being respectful of others. I enjoyed bragging and often made empty talk in order to show off. Thinking that I was much better than anyone else, I only saw others' shortcomings. I also liked to judge others, instead of focusing on where I fell short. Even though I occasionally praised others, in my heart I still felt that I was better than everyone else. Sometimes, these irrational notions led me to behave poorly.
These notions presented a serious hindrance to improving my xinxing, and it also affected the coordination between Dafa disciples while assisting Teacher in saving sentient beings. This was a far cry from the standard of "selflessness" required by the Fa principles. I have been practicing Falun Dafa for many years and feel ashamed that I hadn't gotten rid of this bad attachment.
Sometimes it was difficult to put aside this "always me first" attitude. However, I have finally realized that I need to study the Fa more, strengthen my righteous thoughts and steadfastly look inward for my shortcomings. I want to change my way of thinking, eliminate my show-off mentality and remove this bad substance completely.
The American people raise and teach their children, from the time they are very young, how to praise others. This is a part of the American culture, and something we can surely learn from, to look for the good in others. Cultivation is a serious matter and not just something superficial, and one should focus on the innermost things for fundamental improvement.
Please point out anything inappropriate in my understandings.