Fear, Procrastination, and Regrets
When clearing up misconceptions about Falun Gong, I often came to regret my actions at a later time, as I did not clarify the facts about Falun Gong very well, got side-tracked, or missed opportunities to help Teacher save people because of my attachments. Often, I thought that I should talk to a specific person about the persecution, but did not seriously look for an opportunity until this person passed away. There are times when I promised to visit someone, but then came up with all kinds of reasons not to do so, such as being concerned about "disturbing" someone, or being afraid that I was not welcome. Then, after this person passed away, I regretted missing the opportunity. I neglected to do as I had promised. At times I was thinking about clarifying the facts about Falun Gong to someone, however, although I had the opportunity, I didn't grasp it. I was always waiting for opportunities to come and when this person relocated to another city, we lost the precious chance to see each other. There were many such opportunities where I was not diligent.
I talked to a practitioner about all my regrets, but still did nothing to overcome what was blocking me from taking action. Recently, when I mentioned my regrets to this practitioner again, she said: "You keep saying that you have regrets about what you neglected to do. You have cultivated for this long, what are you afraid of? Teacher is taking care of you at all times. What are you afraid of?" Her words were like a bombshell. She suggested that the root of my reluctance to take action was fear. Right, with Teacher here, with Fa here, what am I afraid of? Under the most perilous period of ten years of Falun Dafa being persecuted, I have made it this far because of Teacher's benevolent protection. Now, much evil has been eliminated, what I am afraid of, what am I concerned about?
I suddenly recalled what Teacher said:
"It's not a big deal if you haven't done well. Just do things well next time and try to find out where the problem was. There's a prominent phenomenon in you folks' cultivation, which is, after you haven't done something well, you're only overwhelmed with regret, and you don't do it over. If you regret it too much then that's another attachment. Once you've done something wrong, seen where it was wrong, and recognized it, then do it well next time, do it over. If you trip and fall, and just keep lying there instead of getting up, (audience laughs) then that's no good." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
Therefore, I seriously looked within and found that I had a lot of fear. I thought that I was free of fear, yet, it was because of fear that I couldn't do well. Fear leads to procrastination, which then results in regrets. The two are connected and have a direct relationship.
Therefore, I went into action immediately. I did a few things to make up for the losses. I went to see people who I had met in the past but neglected to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to. I cleared up misconceptions about Falun Gong and they decided to do the "Three Withdrawals." I also clarified the facts about Falun Gong to people who I feared clarifying the facts to, so that they came to understand the facts and realized that Falun Dafa is wonderful.
Now I expose the persecution to everyone and don't worry about their notions. I no longer hesitate, or have regrets.
I hope practitioners let go of their attachments and seize the time, as the end of the Fa-rectification period is fast approaching.
Above is my personal understanding, please kindly point out anything inappropriate.