(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young Falun Gong practitioner. I would like to share my humble insights on my truth-clarification work and my cultivation practice.

1. Eliminating My Attachment to Selfishness

I am very good at my job but I tend to complain a lot in private. Because I am very good at computer word processing, my boss tends to send a lot of work to me when he is busy. Although I am capable of handling the workload, I often feel bitter and complain about it. It was not until a colleague of mine was annoyed about my complaints that I was astonished by my state of mind as a cultivator. I felt so ashamed. Since then, if I find myself being treated unfairly, I recite an article from Essentials for Further Advancement.

Teacher said,

"A wicked person is born of jealousy.
Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.
A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.
With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.
An enlightened person has no attachments at all.
He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions."

("Realms" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

As soon as I feel I am being treated unfairly, I try to follow the Fa. Gradually my attachment to selfishness grows less and less. These days even when I am required to contribute more than others, I am less likely to feel anger or unfairness. Instead, I feel a lot of joy during the process. In the past when I was constantly complaining, I thought only negatively about my boss. Now that I am giving up more and more my attachment to selfishness, my boss appears to be a kind and agreeable person from all aspects. As I continue to improve my xinxing, my work performance keeps improving as well. As a result, it becomes easier to clarify the truth at work.

2. Doing What I Am Supposed to Do

Two years ago when I graduated from school, I kept wondering which type of job I should get that would allow me time for my Fa-study and truth-clarification work. Due to a variety of reasons, I decided to take my current job. For a while I wanted to quit my job because I didn't like the work environment or the benefits. Then I decided that a cultivator should not be picky about the environment in which she is placed; a cultivator should create an environment. My wish for a better work environment reflected my attachment to comfort and my intention to avoid more work. Why don't I try to transform my environment? With this in mind, I realized that the environment truly changes as my mentality changes.

I used to feel embarrassed about taking time off to travel to Hong Kong to clarify the truth to mainland Chinese tourists. Nowadays my boss and my colleagues even make suggestions as to when would be a good time for me to take time off for my cause. Many people find the support from my colleagues to be incredible. Actually I don't make plans for truth-clarification work. If I can afford the time, I do it as much as I can. It is just like what Teacher has said,

"Also, a lot of our students are concerned about many things, all kinds of stuff. In fact, once you think about those things your realm has dropped. Don't think about anything, and don't worry about anything. Master is compassionate, and he'll definitely arrange for you what's the best." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada, in 2003")

3. Cultivate Myself During Truth-Clarification Work

In addition to traveling to Hong Kong to clarify the truth, I also clarify the truth over the Internet at home. Once when I had just returned from Hong Kong, I found myself having difficulty clarifying the truth over the Internet. I felt I was very eloquent when I clarified the truth to people face-to-face and was quite good at persuading people to quit the CCP and/or its two affiliated student leagues. Feeling rather pleased with myself, I went on the Internet to clarify the truth via chatting, but it didn't go well. I became anxious and it went even worse. For several days I was not successful in getting anyone to quit the CCP. People even said nasty things to me, which made me feel terrible. I discussed the problem with a fellow practitioner who suggested that I try to eliminate all attachments and persevere in clarifying the truth. I reinforced my righteous thoughts. The next day I made a breakthrough. People I chatted with became more receptive and started to quit the CCP.

I have experienced many miracles. The most memorable experience was when a man who was unresponsive at first kept looking for me after two days. Back then I was impatient towards those who didn't want to quit the CCP right away because they tended to be interested in chatting about everyday things. At first I ignored him I decided to give him my attention after I had finished chatting with other people. He said in an anxious yet serious tone, "I have been waiting for you for a long time." He said that his work organization asked to him join the CCP the day after we last chatted. He immediately remembered what I had told him and thought for a long time before he decided to chat with me. I clarified the truth about the CCP to him one more time and he decided to quit the CCP's two student leagues right away. This experience made me reflect upon my lack of righteous thoughts. I felt I was still full of human thoughts. When I met a receptive person, I took delight in clarifying the truth to him. When I met a a less receptive person, I lost interest and moved on. How could I clarify the truth well when I harbor such a filthy attachment at heart? Regardless of their responses, I must not underestimate the effect of our truth-clarification work. In addition, people's attitudes reflect problems with my own cultivation and require me to rectify myself.

4. Pay Attention to Studying the Fa

For a while I felt as though I had been doing the three things as though I was just trying to get it over with. I felt I wasn't really trying to be diligent in my cultivation practice. This lasted for a while. I found it difficult to break through it. At times I felt I was worse than an average person. The only thing that differentiated me from an ordinary person was that I had not given up the three things. However, I often found excuses not to study the Fa during that period of time. I was very nonchalant about it. At the beginning of this year when I was clarifying the truth at a tourist spot, I felt I was stagnant in many aspects of my cultivation practice. If this went on I would deviate further away from the standard for a Falun Gong practitioner. Teacher said,

"There are a lot of things you still aren't able to do well as Dafa disciples, though, and I can tell you that this is in fact because you've neglected Fa-study. The reason is, your surface, which is still assimilating to the Fa, needs to be constantly improved, and as you constantly improve, the things that you need to cultivate away have to be arranged for. Every realm has its own state of being. If you remain stagnant, you definitely won't be able to keep up with the Fa-rectification. When you do well in the Fa-rectification, I can see that it's always because you are able to understand the Fa from the Fa; and when you do somewhat poorly, I can see that it's because you aren't making a priority of Fa-study and you aren't able to understand the Fa from the Fa." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")

Once I realized that my Fa-study was lacking, I made plans to study the Fa systematically and made sure I studied a certain amount of Fa. Gradually I became diligent in my Fa-study and stopped feeling numb at heart. Once I paid attention to my Fa-study, I was able to remove attachments again and improve my xinxing in many ways. I made several breakthroughs. Next I identified when I started to neglect my Fa-study. When my work organization was busy with employee performance evaluations last year, I was anxious to get the job done. I kept working overtime and neglected my Fa-study. This is what led to my lack of diligence and nonchalant attitude. I also neglected my Fa-study when I was worried about my performance at work or at school. There is no skipping in cultivation. If I fail to pass one test, it will come back again until I pass it. Now that I understand the problem, I pay special attention to arranging my schedule, eliminating my attachments to anxiety and fear of bad job performance and make sure I study the Fa well.

5. Conclusion

Living amongst non-cultivators, I face all kinds of temptations. In order to do the three things well and keep cultivating myself, I must balance work and personal life. This is a long-term test for cultivators. I hope that we will cherish this time and do better so as to fulfill our historical mission.