Distinguish What Comes from Your True Self and Eliminate Acquired Notions
(Clearwisdom.net) It used to be that when I practiced the fifth exercise, I could often only sit for 40 minutes. At that point, my legs were in so much pain that I could not continue anymore. Although I knew I should endure hardship and eliminate my karma during cultivation, I did not have a breakthrough for a long time. I asked myself if the purpose of eliminating karma was to eliminate karma. I should look inwards whenever encountering anything. Shouldn't I also upgrade my xinxing in this matter?
This morning, before I practiced the fifth exercise, I said to myself: "My true self must sit for the whole exercise, and any thought which would make me stop is not my true self. Master, please help me remove those bad thoughts." Then I started the meditation.
Forty minute later, my legs hurt. I thought of stopping as usual. I said in my mind: "It is not me. I want to continue." The thought of putting my legs down disappeared. Although my legs still hurt, the pain seemed distant.
This situation occurred more than once. One time, the thought occupied my whole body: "Put your legs down. You will not feel so much pain." I said in my mind: "Master, that thought is not me." I felt my whole body was cool, it seemed light, and the feeling swept through me. That thought disappeared.
After a while, another thought entered my mind: "It is so troublesome." I also felt bothered by having the same situation occur repeatedly. However, I thought further and found that it was also a bad notion. I did not want to have it. It was not me. Afterwards, that thought also disappeared. I finally finished sitting for the whole hour of meditation.
Through this experience, I realized that bad thoughts kept interfering with me before; those bad thoughts were also alive but they were not from my true self. Master said:
"You should first of all eliminate bad thoughts through cultivation. The reason you can get rid of those bad things is that you don't acknowledge them as you. That is extremely crucial. It is because you don't acknowledge them as you that you can then eliminate them. The fact is, they really aren't you. They are the various notions, or even karma, developed from the things you have done after birth--those things. " ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference")
I recalled that I looked at many things through my acquired notions. In the future, I should look at them using the criteria of cultivation and measure them from the standpoint of the Fa. Does my true self think in this way? If not, what kind of thought makes me think in this way? It must be an acquired notion. I just say to myself that it is not me and I do not want that thought. Master said:
"Why do I ask you to return to your origin and true self? What's the purpose of returning to your true self? It's to return to what your true self is. Human beings have many attachments, all kinds of notions, and a range of emotions and desires. All these thoughts are in your head, yet none of them are you. " ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland")
Before, I thought I was removing my bad thoughts myself. Now I understand that I actually just "make a clear differentiation." In other dimensions, those notions are also alive. When I realize that the bad thoughts are not me, then Master removes those bad thoughts and notions. I seem to have improved my understanding of Master's words "cultivation depends on one's own efforts while the transformation of gong is done by the master. " (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun).