Nasty Temper No More (Photo)
(Clearwisdom.net) There is an old Chinese saying, "It is easier to rearrange mountains and rivers than to change people's nature." But the man in the article below changed his own temper after practicing Falun Gong. Starting out as a self-centered and egocentric person, he has transformed into a kind and gentle person. His daughters called the change "from tyrant to Santa Claus." His amazing change from possessing a bad temper, and adopting a more benevolent approach to life, is a subject that many may find fascinating.
Dr. Shen Kunjin
He Thought that Being Aloof and Frightening Others was a Symbol of Power
Dr. Shen Kunjin is an outstanding dentist. He owns his clinic and has a good family: His wife Ruilan is a caring and hard working woman; his children are smart and have good manners. But his hot temper and aggressive personality made him a tyrant in the house. Dr. Shen said, "I had a bad temper, and I was very harsh with my kids. They were all afraid of me." Consider the following scenario that his wife described, "For example, if the kids were watching TV when Dr. Shen got home, as soon as they heard their Daddy opening the door, they would run back to their own rooms."
Dr. Shen has his own story: One weekend, he heard that the kids and Mom planned to go shopping. There was no Mahjong game for him that day, so he offered, "How about I will go with you guys." But after a long time of waiting, the kids did not come out of their rooms. He asked his wife, "Aren't we going shopping?" She replied, "Who dares to go with you?" Dr. Shen suddenly realized how unpopular he was, and told them to go ahead without him. He stayed at home for the whole day.
Most people would feel disappointed and sad when facing this situation. Not Dr. Shen, "Sad? Not me. I felt pretty powerful myself. Of course, now I realized how bad the kids must have felt about their dad." Dr. Shen sighed.
Choosing Personal Enjoyment over Family
Mahjong was part of Dr. Shen's daily life before he practiced Falun Gong. After work, he did not spend much time at home. He would go to the bars, smoking, playing tennis, driving fancy imported cars, wearing brand name clothes and frequenting fancy restaurants. Gambling was his favorite pastime. Dr. Shen admits, "I was a very selfish man. Whenever I finished playing tennis, I went to have a drink and dinner. It didn't occur to me that my wife and kids were waiting at home. Twice when Ruilan was giving birth to our children, she had to call to pull me away from the Mahjong table." He not only refused to do chores, but also would leave for the restaurant whenever he disliked the home cooking, regardless of how others felt.
Ruilan said, "I grew up in an environment of male chauvinism. I was independent and understanding. I was quite used to people like Dr. Shen and was not particularly bothered by him. But I preferred him not to smoke, drink and gamble." Ruilan was doing all the chores at home, although she also had a full time job.
Dr. Shen was a healthy man. He paid little attention when his wife practiced qigong. In November 1997, Ruilan began to practice Falun Gong. Dr. Shen was just observing her on the side. Later, he noticed the physical and mental improvement in his wife. Curiosity led him to look into what she was doing. After several months of learning, he became a Dafa practitioner.
After reading Dafa books and doing the exercises, his understanding of the Fa principles and his xinxing improved rapidly. He stopped smoking and drinking, and no longer played Mahjong. His manner also changed in an amazing way. Ruilan said, "I remember one day I returned home from work and found all the dishes washed. A few days later, the rice was washed and ready. Soon he began to cook rice and prepare vegetables. Finally, one day, I found several hot dishes on the dinner table." From then on, Dr. Shen has been preparing meals for the family. He is no longer that lazy husband who just sits there. They often invite other practitioners to their home to share cultivation experiences and have meals together.
Dr. Shen said, "Ruilan's job at a private company is very demanding. She and our children also spend a lot of time promoting Dafa and clarifying the truth. My clinic is only a few minutes walking distance from home. Grocery shopping and cooking are no big deal. I want to do those chores so they can concentrate on what they do without worries. It is my responsibility as a Dafa particle. We are all part of a whole body. No matter what each person does, it's his contribution to the whole group."
Old Friends are Amazed by the Changes in Him
After his old friends witnessed the changes in Dr. Shen, they were totally amazed. At the wedding of his friend's child, he met many old friends who had played tennis with him. Sitting across the table was a retired teacher that he hadn't seen for seven years. He stared at Dr. Shen for a long while, and suddenly said, "Dr. Shen, your temper has changed. You are a completely different person now." Before he said anything, another friend cut in, "He is a Falun Gong practitioner."
Ruilan said, "Before he practiced Falun Gong, He had a nasty temper. He was self-centered and did not know what humility meant. He could never be wrong. It was always someone else's fault. After he became a practitioner, he learned to think about whether or not he had any issues when conflicts occurred. Sometimes he still gets frustrated, but he can quickly realize his shortcomings and tame his emotions. Gradually, his temperament improved day after day. A self-centered man has now become a caring person."
Ignoring Insults and Treating Patients with Compassion
Dr. Shen's patients are mostly long-time customers, and some have become his friends. Dealing with all kinds of people can be complicated. But the environment is good for his cultivation. Recently one of his regular patients needed a permanent denture, which costs 36,000 TWD. Dr. Shen's professional preference is to use removable dentures, which cuts the cost in half, to only 18,000 TWD. The patient was reluctant and could not make a decision. Dr. Shen offered to make him a removable denture, and if he was not happy after a trial period, Dr. Shen agreed to make a permanent denture and give him a full refund for the removable one. There was no risk for the patient, so he agreed.
Six months later, the unhappy patient came back and blamed Dr. Shen for dentures that didn't fit. Dr. Shen immediately refunded the 18,000 TWD, and promised to make a permanent denture for him. But the unsatisfied patient demanded more compensation for his inconvenience. He even used some offensive language to insult Dr. Shen.
Instead of arguing, Dr. Shen maintained a professional attitude and did not argue with the customer. But privately, he still felt the insult was hard to swallow. At home, he talked to Ruilan about the incident. His wife reminded him to check for his own attachments. After reading Dafa books and deep soul searching, he was able to calm down and keep a positive attitude. After repeated insults and requests from the patient for more compensation, Dr. Shen became very calm. Finally he told the patient he could use the removable denture for free. The patient was very pleased at this offer and wrote him an IOU. Dr. Shen did not feel any resentment. He realized that he should not hate this person. On the contrary, he should even thank him for creating a good opportunity for his own xinxing improvement.
Many people think that only older persons or people who have lost their jobs have an interest in cultivation. They figure, if not for the benefits of healing and keeping fit, who would want to practice Qigong? Dr. Shen had the same view before he practiced Falun Gong. He began to practice without any specific pursuit. But after several years, he has become a better person who looks younger than his age. He also obtained many health benefits. He told two stories that reflect his amazing transformation.
Dr. Shen used to play tennis regularly before he practiced Falun Gong. He felt young and invincible, and had few worries about his physical health. One day he felt a pain in his body. He went to see a blind massage therapist. During the session, the therapist asked, "Old man, what kind of hard labor do you do for a living? Why do your bones and muscles feel so tense?" That year, Dr. Shen was only 38.
Several years later on a rainy afternoon, he returned to his clinic from out of town. An elderly blind lady in her 70's was waiting for him outside of the clinic. After Dr. Shen held her arm and escorted her into the clinic office, he apologized for keeping her waiting. The lady said it's ok. A family member told her that he was out of town, and she should see another dentist. But to everyone's surprise, she told them she would rather wait for Dr. Shen because, "Dr. Shen is trustworthy."
Dr. Shen smiled and answered, "Maybe it's because I am the oldest dentist on this street, and people think I have more experience." The lady said, "Not at all. I believe you are not older than 40. How could you be the oldest?" Dr. Shen told her his real age, and she said, "People normally guess people's age from appearance, but we blind people make our judgments by feeling. From your voice and manner, and the way you assisted me into your office, I feel you are probably younger than 40." That year, Dr. Shen was 52.
April 16, 2009