Looking Inward to Identify Attachments
(Clearwisdom.net) My husband complained to me about someone we knew quite well, who said something negative about my husband to his supervisor. Since that person and his wife were our close friends, we could not understand their behavior. As a result, we were upset for a while.
Not long after, another similar thing happened to my husband. He complained that his co-worker was quite sharp, and always reported things to his manager. I knew his co-worker. Since then, I had the same impression of her.
My husband talked about another person yesterday who recently graduated. My husband is his supervisor, yet he thought that he should be on his guard with this person, since he also was sharp and could potentially turn against my husband.
These events occurred about the same time. I am aware of the reason why those people around us turned against us. Teacher told us that for any tribulation, we should look inward, without bias. Nothing that happens to a practitioner is a coincidence. I understand that non-practitioners don't have the same requirements as practitioners. Also, as practitioners, we should control the environment around us by living according to the standards of Dafa. As long as we have no attachments, the environment should be harmonious. The situations we were seeing around us amplified the attachment of conflicting self-interests. We needed to improve our xinxing. I realized that those conflicts had negatively influenced us; for example, we could not study Fa and practice calmly. When we saw the people who said negative things about us, we didn't say anything, but we had already criticized their actions in our hearts. This is the way old forces disturb us. I know that they take advantage of our attachments. When I truly looked inward, I realized that I had many attachments.
Regarding the first person above, I had a deep attachment to his wife. I was away from home, and I missed my hometown very much. When I met his wife, her personality was very positive, and she reminded me of the people in my hometown. I talked about everything with her, but I forgot to cultivate my speech. His wife was a good conversationalist, so I even extended my attachments of showing off, pursuit and saving face. Those were the results of the old force's persecution. My husband's and my relationship with them thus became estranged.
This second case demonstrated that I engaged in conflicts of self-interest and that I considered myself to be correct. Since I didn't cultivate well in the first case, the old forces had the excuse to increase my difficulty. I worried that my husband would lose his position, so he always complained to me about the injustices done to him. I was very angry when I felt that he suffered a loss. Finally I looked inward, and found that I had an emotional attachment to my husband. Cultivators must eliminate this attachment. Everyone has his own path. I know that everything that happens is a result of cause and effect, and that I cannot intervene. I should consider my husband as a sentient being. The behavior of others is just a mirror to compare myself to. Due to the Chinese Communist Party's influence on our culture, I used to behave differently depending on who I was with. As a practitioner, I should not discuss others' weaknesses or strengths, but in my heart, I still judged them. If I felt that I was in conflict with someone, I would not openly express my feelings, but would still be engaged in the conflict my heart. I was quite jealous and meddlesome.
I planned to do the three things but was influenced by everyday conflicts. I regret that I haven't done the three things well. If I don't cultivate well, then I will have a negative influence on sentient beings. I should study "Fa" and do my part.
Please point out anything improper in my understanding.
April 5, 2009