Although I have not completely gotten rid of my attachment of fear and have not done enough to clarify the truth and save sentient beings, I still want to share my cultivation experiences at my current level with fellow practitioners to help us improve together. Please kindly point out any mistakes.

Teacher Encourages Me to Produce and Distribute Truth Clarifying Materials and Make the Best Use of Time to Save More People

In the spring of 2000, I moved to a small town with my family. At that time I felt the urgency of saving people, but I also had the attachment of fear. After I extensively studied the Fa and cultivated myself, I decided to hand out information exposing the persecution to help people understand the beauty of Dafa and the truth of how the CCP persecutes Falun Gong and practitioners. After my xinxing improved, Teacher helped me. My husband, who is not a practitioner, said he wanted to buy a computer. I also encouraged him to buy a printer. After we bought the equipment, I did not know how to use it, but one of my coworkers taught me. Soon I understood the basic techniques of producing truth-clarifying materials. Moreover, all the problems I encountered while producing materials were magically solved. For example, when the first ink cartridge was used up, I decided to try to unload the empty cartridge by myself. Before I even reached into the printer, the ink cartridge moved by itself to the right position. It was even faster than if someone had taught me how to do it. At that time, I did not know about the Minghui (Chinese version of Clearwisdom) website yet. I wrote letters encouraging people to quit the CCP or revised the truth-clarifying materials I already had. Now when I recall that time, I realize it was not easy, but at that time, I had not created the notion of "difficulty" in my mind, so I could produce satisfactory informational materials.

A practitioner from a different area sent me two truth clarifying CDs. After I watched one, I thought the contents were very good. I thought if I could send the text format with each CD, the effect would be even better. However, I only had two CDs, and I wondered what to do. I did not even know what a CD burner was. I bought a CD burner anyway, and the kind technician who installed the CD burner for me agreed to teach me how to use it.

Since I was new to this small town, I was not familiar with the local environment. I also had not determined how to communicate with the local practitioners, so I rode the bus, using it as an opportunity to observe and decide where to hand out the informational materials. For example, I chose one of the places because I hadn't distributed flyers there before. I also paid attention to how many newspaper boxes a house had and where to enter a local residential community. I did that for a while, and it became part of my routine. Later, when I returned to my hometown and took a bus, I still unconsciously observed the buildings through the bus window.

When I first started to hand out information, I always went out at nighttime. Although I walked in the dark by myself, I was not afraid at all. Now I understand that it was because Teacher helped me. With the improvement of my xinxing, my righteous thoughts were stronger and stronger. Later I was able to distribute flyers during the daytime. Because of my righteous thoughts, I had very little interference. The few times that there were difficulties, I resolved them with righteous thoughts under Teacher's protection.

Teacher Encourages Me to Clarify the Truth Face to Face

Before I started to practice Falun Gong, my personality was very introverted and I was not good with words or speaking. I usually did not communicate with people outside of work. With my improvement in cultivation, my attachment of fear gradually faded. I had a strong wish to clarify the truth to strangers. In the winter of 2006, I met a young fellow whose cabbage-carrying bag was broken. I helped him to deliver his cabbages to the restaurant he owned. Then I successfully persuaded him and his wife to withdraw from the Young Pioneers. Since then, I have clarified the truth to strangers face to face and encouraged them to withdraw from the CCP.

Initially, my thoughts fluctuated and I had a lot of worries, so the outcome when I explained the facts was not good. Sometimes I said a lot, but the people I talked to still did not want to quit the CCP. Sometimes I persuaded someone to quit the CCP but I forgot to tell him or her the facts about Falun Gong. Sometimes I just remembered to clarify the truth but forgot to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil beings and factors that prevent people from knowing the truth. Once I clarified the truth one by one to a dozen people, but none of them agreed to quit the CCP. After I got home, when I studied the Fa with a calm mind and looked inward, I found my problem. My thoughts had not been 100 percent fully focused on saving sentient beings. Instead, I still had the attachment of fear and the selfish impulse to protect myself. I did not think only of them and of their lives. This was not a lack of experience and skills or due to my personality. This was due to my xinxing level and needing to let go of self. Teacher asked us to do the three things well. Whenever we have the attachment of selfishness, we cannot do things well. Our goal is to cultivate ourselves to become selfless, altruistic, and righteous enlightened being.

A few days later, right after I left home, I saw a woman slowly pushing her bicycle with a big bag on it. I went up and talked to her. Then I encouraged her to quit the CCP. She immediately agreed, and she also thanked me sincerely. After I walked a few more steps, a young fellow came up and asked me for directions. I used this chance to successfully persuade him to quit CCP, too. I knew this was Teacher's arrangement. He encourages me to break through selfishness, cultivate myself and save the sentient beings. He also encourages me to also study the Fa with a calm mind, look inward when issues arise, and make the best use of time to save sentient beings.

Now when I distribute flyers and clarify the truth, I have no fear anymore. My selfish thoughts are weaker and weaker while my thoughts of saving of sentient beings have become stronger and stronger. I have no fear of clarifying the truth or of handing out truth-clarifying materials and amulets(1) face to face. Although as a Falun Dafa practitioner in the Fa-Rectification period I should have achieved this status long ago, I finally did achieve it by constantly getting rid of fear and selfishness during my cultivation, taking the Fa as Teacher, and believing in Teacher and the Fa. It is the result of breaking through and letting go of self and of assimilating into the Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance of the Fa.

I still have many attachments to remove and know there is a big gap between me and the standard that Teacher requires of us. I must abide by what Teacher taught us, cultivate myself more diligently, be worthy of Teacher's compassionate salvation and great hope, fulfill my prehistoric vows, and become Teacher's qualified disciple.


(1) Amulets -- In China, practitioners sometimes "clarify the truth" by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.

April 3, 2009