I Finally Identified My Attachment to Validating Myself
(Clearwidom.net) I have been hearing a voice in my head ever since I started practicing Dafa: "Look how well you conduct yourself, speak and read the Fa..." No matter what I was doing, as long as I was a little better than other practitioners around me, the voice would always appear. I didn't take it seriously until later on. I didn't know what it was, so I looked within, trying to find out. Vaguely, I knew it was interference from the attachment to fame, so I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it. But no matter how hard or how long I tried, the voice still appeared. I was very puzzled and asked for other practitioners' opinions. However, it was new to them and they didn't have an answer or a solution, either.
Today, I was on the Minghui (Chinese version of Clearwisdom) website and read a practitioner's article titled "Negate the Persecution in the Form of Financial Bankruptcy with Righteous Thoughts." While reading the sentence, "One day, I felt Master was right by my side. He was so benevolent..." suddenly, I burst into tears. I kept reading and came across this sentence: "When I returned to school, a new schoolteacher said to me, 'I've heard so much about you. I heard you were very knowledgeable and talented...'" I was stunned and I finally woke up. I had been thinking that his words were so exaggerated until I realized I had been trapped in my attachment to validating self very deeply."
I was shocked when I read this, and finally understood what the voice that had puzzled me for three and a half years was--it was validating me, validating myself.
March 26, 2009