Searching Within Oneself and Being a Genuine Dafa Disciple
(Clearwisdom.net) One day I was at a fellow practitioner's home. In the morning, I practiced the sitting meditation. Just as I was feeling that the effect was very good, the other practitioner pointed out to me, "Your hands have dropped down." I was surprised. Although I did not say anything, I was thinking to myself, "Even though I was deeply concentrating during the meditation, I kept opening my eyes. How could it be that my hands dropped? Oh! It must be that Master was giving you a hint, letting you see me this way." But, in fact, Master was giving me the hint, using a fellow practitioner's words, and yet I understood it the opposite way, and did not search within myself at all. When the other practitioner kindly pointed out my shortcoming, I did not sincerely accept it, and instead, I looked outward.
The next day, I went to the home of my elder sister, who is also a practitioner. During the several occasions that we sent forth righteous thoughts together, I saw that she let her hands droop. Each time I would make a sound so as to let her know that her hand position was not correct. After my first and second attempts, I finally raised my voice, and I even wanted to shout. My sister raised her head and looked at me without saying anything.
In the morning on the way to work, my human notions kept surfacing. In my mind, I either criticized that fellow practitioner for a lack of righteous thoughts or complained about that practitioner for lacking a strong main consciousness. I reproached and complained about others. All of a sudden, I remembered the requirement to search inwards and treat fellow practitioners with compassion, which Master has required us to follow in the video lecture "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners." After I calmed down, I started to look within: "Isn't this a human sentiment? I had not regarded my elder sister as a fellow practitioner--I had looked at her only as a sibling. I did not pay attention to how I spoke to her, not to mention the compassion that I should have towards fellow practitioners." The more I searched inward, the more I ashamed I felt. I had a strong attachment of validating myself and an attachment to self. Furthermore, once I encountered conflicts, I searched outward and did not consider things from others' perspectives, always imposing my thoughts on others. I suddenly realized that this strong ego was not me, that I am a Dafa disciple that does not want to be attached to self. I definitely must negate it. I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate and eliminate the evil rotten demons and old cosmic forces that wanted to separate Dafa practitioners. With this thought, everything became harmonized and my mind immediately became calm.