The Stone in My Heart Disappears
(Clearwisdom.net) My name is Zheng Hua. By the end of 2004, I had worked for the Residents' Committee Office for over ten years. I collected taxes and charges from residents, solicited donations, issued fines, etc. I was familiar with the streets and lanes, never missing even one household. I regarded myself as an earnest and responsible employee. Actually, I helped the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) entrap people.
After the persecution of Falun Gong began on July 20, 1999, we had one more task, that of monitoring Falun Gong residents' activities. From 2000 to 2004, we led a group of people to check every street and market early each morning, checking for Falun Gong fliers or posters, and confiscating the fliers and tearing down the posters. I didn't think about what I was doing those several years. A Falun Gong practitioner once explained the truth to me and told me I shouldn't do these bad deeds, but I paid no attention. I simply said, "We would not tear up your signs if you would stop posting them. Could orders from the higher authority be wrong?" Obviously, I was blind and foolish.
In 2002, I felt as if there was a big stone in my heart. I was too uncomfortable to eat, nor could I lie down. I had headaches, and even my hands and feet slowly begin to dry out. By late 2004, I could no longer bear it, so I quit my job at the Residents Committee Office. Throughout 2005, I visited every hospital for treatment and then purchased all kinds of medicines. Nothing had any effect.
In early 2006, I was walking down the street with a big bag of medicine when I ran into the practitioner who had explained the truth to me before. She asked me what I was holding and why I was so skinny. I said I was very ill and tired of living. She said, "Come over to the side--we need to have a good chat." So we talked for an hour. I learned about Falun Gong, how practitioners strive to be good people according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, about the fabricated Tienanmen self-immolation incident, and the lies about practitioners not being allowed to take medicine. She pointed out that Dafa had now spread around the globe. She also discussed the evildoings of the CCP and how it has killed over 80 million people. Lastly, she gave me a copy of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and some Falun Dafa truth-clarification materials. She asked me if I had ever joined the CCP or its affiliates, and told me that if I had, I should quickly withdraw with an oath from the heart so that I might stay alive. I instantly put up my hand as I had once joined with my hand raised. In front of God, with my hand up, I completely and thoroughly withdrew.
That dinnertime when my family ate, I did, too. My husband asked me how it was that I could eat that night, "You have been saying that you have a stone in your heart for years and couldn't even drink water at night. What happened to you today?" Only then did I notice that the stone had disappeared. I told him that I had completely withdrawn from all CCP organizations and that I was saved. I told him about my meeting with a Dafa practitioner.
That night he and I read the truth-clarification materials and part of the Nine Commentaries. I felt such regret for all the bad deeds I had done as a result of being brainwashed by the CCP, but I also felt lucky and happy, as I now understood the truth. I read the materials again and again and even memorized some. I said to myself, "I also want to learn Falun Gong, but I have done so many bad things. Will Teacher accept me?"
With this thought, I walked to the bus stop every day, because the practitioner who talked to me and gave me the materials did not live in our area. I knew she would eventually pass our bus stop again one day.
At the end of March 2006, I indeed met the practitioner again. As soon as she saw me, she asked with surprise, "Have you learned Dafa? Your face is healthy, and you are so energetic." I said, "I really want to learn, but I wonder if Teacher wants me." She replied, "Yes, he wants you!" She happened to have a copy of Zhuan Falun in her bag. She read portions of it to me. She said, "Isn't this Teacher's great mercy? Isn't this his careful arrangement?" I took the treasured book, held to my chest, and repeated with joy, "I have the Fa! I have the Fa!" I also wrote a solemn declaration and declared that my previous wrongdoings toward Falun Gong due to the CCP's deceit to be null and void.
I have been learning the Fa with fellow practitioners for over two years and have experience great physical and mental changes. People I knew before, including the CCP secretary, the director, and the primary school teacher, all said I looked healthy but also much younger than before. I told them this was because I had learned Dafa. After seeing how I improved, they also joined Dafa practice one after another. Of course I am still very far away from Teacher's requirements and have big gaps in being a diligent practitioner. But I will certainly do the three things well, walk righteously in the practice, and improve in Dafa.