(Clearwisdom.net) I have practiced Dafa for more than ten years. After Master adjusted my body in the beginning, I always felt as light as a swallow, and I also walked very fast. Sometimes I even didn't feel the weight of my body. However, on the path of cultivation, I have always been an average cultivator and not very diligent. Although I kept up with my Fa study and the exercises, I only stayed on the surface. I overcame some tribulations and failed some as well. I didn't have a very serious cultivation attitude.
Under these circumstances, illness karma suddenly appeared in April 2008. First, I could not breathe well; seven days later, I could not even walk. I didn't have righteous thoughts then and was thinking: "Now it is all over. I am a useless person. What shall I do in the future?" Fellow practitioners told me when we shared, "You should try to understand it from the perspective of the Fa--this is the persecution of the evil, it is not real. You should look at it with righteous thoughts." Afterwards, however, I sometimes had righteous thoughts but sometimes didn't.
With these mood swings, I struggled for four months in pain. In the end, I could not keep it up anymore and went to the hospital for treatment. The doctor diagnosed it as "allergic bronchial asthma." After eleven days of treatment, I left the hospital, and I temporarily felt better. At that time, I realized that I had fallen to the level of an ordinary person, but I still did not look inward. Unexpectedly, one month later, more severe asthma came back. This time I had to struggle to keep breathing all the time. At the most difficult and painful time, fellow practitioners studied the Fa with me and helped me to improve in the Fa. One practitioner said, "You should study the Fa with your heart fully involved. Your core has to be moved. If it doesn't move, even Gods can't help, Master can't help you." These words shocked me. What was the core, the fundamental reason, for my lacking righteous thoughts?
I read Lectures in the United States(Teaching the Fa in New York City) in which Master said:
"if a human being with a body full of karma is to become a God, wouldn't you say it's a serious matter? Shouldn't you view these matters strictly with a high standard and hold yourself to righteous thinking?"
The two words, "strictly" and "righteous thinking," stood out in front of my eyes. Looking back at what I did and thought, did I reach the high standard set by Master? The problem was that I didn't trust Master and the Fa deeply enough, which caused a lack of righteous thoughts. When a practitioner doesn't have righteous thoughts, the evil will take advantage of it to reach its goal and make you fall. I was struggling with the illness karma--wasn't I helping the old force to persecute myself? Suddenly, Master's teaching woke me up, abd I found the cause of my lack of righteous thoughts.
After I understood this Fa principle, a miracle happened. Three days later, all the asthma symptoms disappeared. On the fourth day, I stepped out of my home to clarify the truth with fellow practitioners.
This "incurable" asthma (for a non-practitioner) was cleared away with amazing speed for a practitioner. I sincerely thank Master from deep in my heart. Master did not give up on a disciple like me. After overcoming this illness karma, although quite unsteady, a bad thing turned out to be good. Through this incident, I gave up many attachments, and at the same time understood the deep meaning of what Master said--that a real practitioner has no illness--and also understood what it means to keep every single thought on the Fa.
