I Was Granted a New Lease on Life When I Was at Death's Door
(Clearwisdom.net) Li Jiming, 41, is a music composer who works for the 310 Audio and Visual Center of Hangtian Industrial Company Headquarters. In the spring of 1997, Li experienced pain in every bones in his body, a pain that soon became sheer agony. A small grain of rice dropped anywhere on his body would cause him unbearable pain. He was diagnosed with a unique form of bone necrosis (osteonecrosis) and no medical treatments brought any relief. Li Jiming was fortunate to come across the book Zhuan Falun and become a Falun Gong practitioner when he was at death's door. In a very short time, his health was completely restored and his life returned to normal.
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My name is Li Jiming. I am 41 years old. Prior to March 1997, I was a healthy man with a happy family and a good job. I have won three gold and silver prizes at the Beijing Music Composition Competition, and I often directed large art performances. Because of my lighthearted nature and sense of humor, I have been very popular at work and in society.
One morning in the spring of 1997, I noticed a small blister on my right hand. It didn't itch nor was it painful. A week later more blisters appeared on my left hand. I went to a hospital and was given a boric acid solution and an allergy prescription. But a few days later, I started feeling pain in my bones, and I had difficulty lifting things with my hands. A few days later, a large number of blisters appeared on my arms and legs. The blisters started to break and ooze. This time I sought medical treatment at a traditional Chinese hospital, but three months of treatments didn't improve the condition. My fingernails and toenails started to deform and curl up, and I felt intense pain in every bone in my body. My hands and feet experienced pain when I touched water, and I couldn't walk. I had to rely entirely on the care of my family. I started to panic. I went to one hospital after another, but no one could give a definitive diagnosis.
In August 1997, I was unable to stand up due to the intense pain. My family had to hold me up. Just getting into a taxi cab took us nearly 30 minutes. Due to the acute pain, I couldn't rely on any part of my body to support me. After I was checked into Youryi Hospital (Friendship Hospital), I dropped more than 33 lbs. Because the doctors couldn't identify the cause, they could only give me large doses of antibiotics and painkillers. That was when I knew what pain was. It felt as though I was rolling on a bed of sharp knives--I was in sharp pain whether I lay still or made the slightest movement. When my wife fed me, even a grain of rice that fell on me caused agonizing pain. At night I was given a large dose of sleeping pills and painkillers to allow me to sleep for a short while. I thought of ending my life and tried to pull off the oxygen mask from my face. I also begged a friend who is a policeman to lend me his gun so that I could kill myself. But my suicide attempts failed.
Modern medical technology eventually revealed that I had bone necrosis in many places in my body and it was progressing rapidly. It meant I was at death's door. In order to find the cause, the doctors twice drilled holes in my chest where there was a shadow on the bones in the X-ray. The third time, they even used chisels and hammers to retrieve bone samples for analysis. But each time the doctors told me they couldn't identify the cause. They had already ruled out cancer, TB, and inflammation, and they were puzzled by the strange illness. Eventually, they invited the president of Jishuitan Hospital and an American expert who happened to be attending a spinal seminar in China to help diagnose my disease. The American expert admitted that he had never seen a case like mine and suggested the hospital seek help on the Internet, but no one responded.
The doctors tried and tried, but they couldn't do anything for me. After 75 days of failed treatments in the hospital, I returned home with a diagnosis of "multiple bone necrosis." I had to wear a steel frame to support my chest. The doctors had prescribed it to prevent a possible fracture caused by my increasingly twisted spinal column. My family and I continued seeking medical treatment elsewhere. After another three months, we were financially and mentally drained, but I was still ill. I relied completely on a hired nurse to look after me. I was in the depths of despair.
At this pivotal moment, Falun Gong saved me! In March 1998, I was fortunate to receive a copy of the book Zhuan Falun, the primary teachings of Falun Gong. The moment I touched the book, I felt a warm energy flowing through my body. The strange feeling and the content of the book were new to me. While I was pondering all of this, I heard that an older neighbor and her family were practicing Falun Gong. They told me about Falun Gong's free public practice sites and invited me to join. I managed to remove my "chest armor," went down four flights of stairs without help, and walked to the nearest Falun Gong exercise practice site. Little could I have imagined that I would do the second Falun Gong standing exercise for 30 minutes on the first day while I could only manage to sit on the sofa for 15 minutes prior to that day. I was ecstatic. I felt I had found hope in my despair.
From that point on, I followed Falun Gong's requirement to let go of my attachment to treating illness. Every day I studied Zhuan Falun and seriously practiced the Falun Gong exercises. I also joined two study groups and studied the Fa with fellow practitioners. When I studied the Fa, the pain miraculously disappeared. As I continued to improve my xinxing, my body underwent incredible transformation. After over a month of practicing the Falun Gong exercises, my ashen complexion turned rosy and radiant, and I could sleep well at night. My appetite increased, and I started to gain weight. Soon I looked as healthy as before I became ill. My friends and acquaintances commented that I looked like a new person. Two months later, I no longer needed the hired nurse, and I started doing housework on my own. My piano students returned and the sound of music appeared in my home again.
Yet cultivation is a sacred and serious matter. As I was recovering, I faced many tribulations and tests. Yet I often reminded myself that I was determined to be a true cultivator. I tried my best in prevailing over every test and tribulation. When I failed one test, I got up and started again. After six months, I cut off my long hair, which I used to regard as a trademark for an "artist." I also quit my bad habits of smoking and drinking, and I threw away all my remaining prescriptions. As I was getting well, my wife started throwing temper tantrums. At first, I didn't realize they were tests, and I reacted poorly. Then I started to forbear her fits and searched inside myself unconditionally. I finally completely stopped losing my temper when my wife threw tantrums. I truly attained the type of forbearance a cultivator should have. Because of my transformations, my mother, wife and eight-year-old daughter started practicing Falun Gong as well.
As I continued improving my xinxing, I started to face tests of fame, self-interest, and sentimentality, the very attachments that a cultivator must forgo. One day when I decided I was well enough to return to work, I called on my boss and told him about my plan. Little did I expect that he would tell me, "As a Falun Gong practitioner, you should follow your teacher's teaching and comply with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. You should think of others at all times and let go of all attachments." He told me that I should be considerate of his problems. He said I should find channels, get a physical examination to make sure I was well, and wait for their decision. I was puzzled by the unexpected rejection and felt very sad. But I suddenly realized that Teacher was giving me an opportunity to let go of my attachment to fame and self-interest. I let go of my feelings and didn't go looking for connections. Every month I received only a base salary of a few hundred yuan.
Since I started practicing Falun Gong, I have endured a lot of pain when repaying karma. One day I had such a bad headache that I wanted to bang my head against the wall and roll on the ground. But I prevailed over the pain. Teacher must have known everything because He encouraged me to prevail over these tests in my darkest hours. One day when I was in a lot pain in bed and doubted if I was really repaying karma or if my sickness had returned, I suddenly thought, "Will I eliminate sickness karma when my heavenly circuit is opened?" Suddenly, for a few seconds I felt warm energy lifting my body up in the air about 10 cm. (4 in.) and all of my pores were opened. When my daughter was about to enter the room, I was afraid she might be frightened to see me levitating and the panic caused me to drop back down onto my bed. I was so excited that tears flooded my face. Teacher must have been telling me that my heavenly circuit was open and I was illness-free, and that I was just repaying the karma that I had accumulated in my past lives. Because of Teacher's compassionate care, I was able to grit my teeth and endure the pain that came with the karma. At first, I had difficulty sitting on the ground with my legs loosely crossed. After a few months, I was able to practice Falun Gong's sitting meditation in the single lotus position for 60 minutes. At first, I couldn't bend forward to do "Falun Heavenly Circulation," Falun Gong's fourth standing exercise, but eventually I was able to bend down and reach my calves with my hands. While I was ill, I couldn't even lift a one-pound melon. Now I can lift ten pounds with one hand.
Falun Gong gave me a new lease on life. I must cherish this precious opportunity to solidly practice Falun Gong.