Truly Stepping Forward from Humanness
(Clearwisdom.net) Yesterday my husband suggested we take some family photos. The photo shoot ended up taking the whole afternoon. Today at noon, my mother-in-law requested we have a family lunch together. During the past few days, conflicts with my colleagues were continuous and particularly intense. My mom was arrested last week because she is also a practitioner of Falun Gong, and she is still currently detained. I opened my electronic books and happed to read the Ninth Talk of Zhuan Falun, "People with Great Inborn Quality".Tears streamed down my face as I read and I was reminded that there is only one righteous path. No matter how difficult and painful, I must finish my article, report to Master, and share my experiences with fellow practitioners.
Master Lifts Me Up
In December 2002, after I failed to find a way to cure my illness while I was studying medicine, I started to read my mother's copy of Zhuan Falun. I witnessed my mom's health condition magically turn to normal after practicing Falun Gong and I truly believed in Dafa's powerful healing effects. I started to practice Falun Gong with the attachment of curing my illness. As soon as I started to practice Falun Gong, I was immediately interfered with. Every night evil things came to frighten me. My celestial eye (third eye) opened soon after I started practicing Falun Gong, so I could see frightening scenes. Every night I was afraid to turn off the light and go to sleep.
My mother gave me Master's lectures and articles to read. I also acquired the whole set of books, audio and video tapes of Master's lectures before the July 20, 1999 launch of the persecution of Falun Gong in China. I continuously studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts and recited Lunyu. But I was frightened as soon as I stopped. One night after a half month of being a practitioner, I heard Master's conversation with the old forces and how he brought me out of hell (at that time I thought the old forces were the kings of the hell). Since then, my heart of cultivating Falun Dafa never faltered again, no matter how difficult the situation was.
Passing Out Truth-Clarifying Materials
In the summer of 2003, I bought my first ink-jet printer and started to print truth-clarifying fliers and letters. Since I worked outside and there were no practitioners in my area, I could only go back home to get Master's new articles every six months. Then Master arranged for fellow practitioners to send anti-web-blocking software to my husband's email. I can now download the new articles and truth-clarifying materials by myself from the Internet. At the end of 2005, I bought a laser printer and started to produce the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, so I could give them to more people. I passed out more and more Nine Commentaries and some nights I could pass out about a hundred fliers.
When I was unable to produce enough Nine Commentaries, Master arranged for practitioners in my hometown to send me a new printer and to teach me how to use it. Since I had the wish of producing truth-clarifying materials, Master arranged for me to do a work-related project at home, so I could do the three things at home. Every day I turned on the printer as soon as I woke up and went out to pass truth-clarifying materials as soon as I finished producing the materials. If my husband was not at home, I just ate instant noodles. Every night I was so tired that I fell asleep on the bed after I finished sending righteous thoughts at 12 o'clock. My husband worried that I could not finish the work-related project. But under Master's protection and compassion, I finished the project smoothly after a year. Dafa's magic truly convinced my husband. This is just like Master said in Zhuan Falun:
"The cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master" (Zhuan Falun, The First Talk, translated by North America Practitioners)
Passing the Tribulation of Attachments of Sentimentality Towards My Family
My husband also studies medicine. We had become a couple while going to school together. We encouraged each other during our studies and work. We also had a lovely son. Especially after I started to practice Falun Gong, I abandoned many bad habits and became more and more virtuous and filial. My husband also received good fortune because he supported me in doing Dafa work. Our financial condition has become better and better. From an everyday person's point of view, we are truly a happy family.
But as a practitioner, I know that my life was extended to allow me to save sentient beings. My time is not meant for an everyday person's life. No matter what I encountered every day, I always used the principles of the Fa to evaluate it. I also told my husband fellow practitioners' stories I read from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, and I was strict with myself. Gradually my husband understood that the Fa is not meant to only cure illness and improve health, but that it is cultivation practice to teach people to reach higher levels of morality and wisdom.
In 2006, I contacted local practitioners and started to hand out truth-clarifying materials. My husband strongly opposed that decision and was very angry. At that time, I told him very calmly, "I did not do anything wrong. I am saving the people. You should not interfere with me. If I did not cultivate the Fa, I probably would have died, never mind not being able to take care of the family." I truly believed I was doing the right things and that he should not interfere with me. He did not say anything again, except to himself quietly, "I have to accept my fate."
Until now I realized that it was the old forces behind him, controlling him at that time. Because I did not pay attention to sending forth righteous thoughts, I did not think of cleaning his dimension for him. Later he did not interfere me when I did Dafa work, but he said some disrespectful words about Master because of fear. I could only cry in front of Master's photo. I looked inward and thought I did not cultivate well. I thought as long as I cultivated diligently, he would be better. Actually I did not fully understand the relationship between personal cultivation and the Fa-Rectification. I acknowledged the interference. Gradually I studied the Fa better and understood the Fa more clearly. The situation also became better.
Getting Rid of the Attachment of Fame
I strove to be an excellent person before I practiced Falun Dafa. I thought I was very competent and others also said I was very capable. After I started cultivation, I found that my attachments of fame, jealousy, and showing-off hid deeply in my mind and I did not acknowledge my attachments for a long time.
I used to be very busy at work. I need to frequently work overtime, attend meetings and study. So I asked Master to help me to move to a more regular work schedule, which would make it easier for me to do the three things well. Then I was assigned to the base unit. But the new work involved dealing with unethical money beyond salary, which put me into a difficult situation. I am a practitioner and I will not take money I should not get, but I had to deal with this every day. Within my new group of colleagues, there were also a few women who gossiped every day. All these things are what I hated the most before.
I truly wanted to get rid of these human attachments and act like a Dafa practitioner. But when I was busy every day and saw that they were chatting, it was hard for me to let go of my attachments. Then some people came to me and told me that before I came to work, those women deleted all the useful information in my computer. At that time, I thought of the story that Master told during the Fa Lecture in Jinan regarding distributing apples. I tried to control myself and suppress my boiling heart. I clearly distinguished that these attachments were not mine, but human notions. But my tears could not help but flow.
I will study the Fa diligently and will pass this tribulation very soon. I will fully concentrate on doing the three things well and saving sentient beings, and act righteously as a Falun Dafa disciple during the Fa-Rectification period. I will not disappoint Master's mercy and salvation. I will fulfill my prehistoric pledge.