To Be a Dafa Disciple and Truly Cultivate Myself
(Clearwisdom.net) You will find the true meaning of life as long as you have the predestined relationship to obtain the Fa. Whenever you truly cultivate Dafa, you will understand the hardship of cultivation and the bitterness and happiness involved in improving your character and letting go of your attachments. I would like to share some of my cultivation experiences in the hope of inspiring people to learn the truth and obtain the Fa. I also hope that it may provide some help to fellow practitioners.
Return to Dafa
I obtained the Fa in 1996 and almost immediately I could feel the Law Wheel spinning in my body. The constipation and migraine headaches that I had suffered from for years disappeared, and both my mind and body were purified. But my understanding of Dafa remained at the level of perceptual knowledge and I didn't cultivate myself truly and diligently.
During July 1999, the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) spread lies about Master and Dafa, and the cruel persecution of Dafa disciples began. I stopped cultivating for three years. I walked along the path arranged by the old forces because of my attachment to laziness and a longing for comfort. I didn't study the Fa diligently, and I behaved just like an ordinary person. I accompanied the guests of our company to go out eating and drinking, and I played cards during the day and danced at night. On the surface, it appeared that I was having fun, but I felt very hollow inside. The pressure of work, family disharmony, and getting ill tired me out both mentally and physically.
In July 2002, when my husband announced that he wanted to divorce me, I suddenly got a fever as high as 40 C. I stayed in the hospital for two weeks, but the fever persisted. At that time I just didn't want to live anymore. Then I thought about the injustice of the persecution against Dafa disciples and how Master and Dafa were being slandered. Even I, no longer diligent, was always under the surveillance of the police station, the government, and my company, and I couldn't do as I pleased. At the moment I had one thought: "My death would be of no value. I must validate the Fa and live for Dafa."
I took down the case from attic and held Zhuan Falun in my hands. At that time, I hadn't read the book for three years. When I re-read the First Lecture, I felt a Falun rotating from my left arm to my whole body. Suddenly, I felt relaxed and energetic.
At that moment, I held the picture of Master, and, kneeling down before His picture, I swore, "Master, I give you my life and will walk the path you arranged. I will cultivate diligently and doubly compensate for the losses I brought to Dafa and Master. I will cultivate in Dafa until the end."
The Miracle of Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
When I returned to cultivation practice, the interference I experienced was very strong at the beginning. When I learned that we could send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them, I sat on my bed and sent forth righteous thoughts to the police station, the government, and 610 Office to clear out their records containing my information and pictures. At first when I held my hand up to send forth righteous thoughts, my hand would involuntarily wobble and I knew that this was the fight between justice and evil. I kept on doing it until I had cleared them out. In the end I heard people from the government saying that they didn't have any records of me and nobody watched me any longer.
In August 2002, when my husband saw that I had resumed my cultivation practice again, he was both happy and worried. He was happy because I no longer quarreled with him, I treated him very well, and I looked healthy. But he was worried that if my company knew that I had started to cultivate again, they might fire me.
When I saw his mood, I just had the thought that, "I must save you." One night, I used my finger to write the character "eliminate" on his back while he was asleep. I sent out righteous thoughts towards him all night. The next day, he read the truth clarification materials and even Zhuan Falun.
When my daughter saw this, she also entered cultivation practice. Three of us in our family cultivated Dafa together under the compassionate arrangement of Master.
"But in spite of this, Master only looks at the fact that they came down to obtain the Fa initially. So regardless of who it is, as long as he develops the thought of wanting to cultivate today and enters the practice, Master will offer him salvation." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia")
Distributing Truth Clarification Materials
After Master's new article "Hurry Up And Tell Them" was published, I worked during the daytime and went out to distribute truth clarification materials to different villages at night. Soon, we began to run out of truth clarification materials, so we bought some red paper and made signs saying, "Falun Dafa Is Good," "Falun Dafa Is the Righteous Fa," "Restore Our Master's Good Name" "Falun Gong Is Wronged." We posted these on the telegraph poles in different villages. The first time I posted the signs, I walked for more than eight hours in my high heeled shoes and there were big blisters on my toes. I used a needle to open and drain them. The next morning when I got up, there were no marks on my feet at all. I felt as light as gossamer and it was wonderful.
In the summer of 2003, I made more than one thousand copies of Dafa truth materials and distributed several hundred on the first day. The next day I wanted to distribute the remaining ones. (I used to distribute the materials on a rotation of five or seven days so that the CCP could not figure out my distribution schedule.)
Some practitioners heard about my ideas, and they went with me to very far away villages to distribute the materials. Five of us, all women, took the bus to a village at 8:00 p.m. The moon was full and bright, lighting up the village. The farmers there were enjoying the cool night air, and we found a place to send righteous thoughts to make all of them go back home to sleep. Because there were so many of us and we might be easily discovered, we divided ourselves into two groups to distribute the materials. But fellow practitioners were not familiar with the surroundings and didn't cooperate with each other well. One practitioner kept worrying that she forgot to bring her house key with her and she might not be able to get in if she returned late, so she was distracted by this human attachment. When we got to the second village, the CCP cadres there found us out. When we were distributing materials at the third village, the police came by in a police wagon and found us.
As I saw a police wagon driving toward me I thought, "They all know me, but I need to go to work tomorrow and I can't let them find me." When the other four practitioners saw the police wagon, they ran toward me. The police didn't see me and just ran after the other four. The four practitioners ran straight ahead, far away from me. I could hear the sounds of the the police arresting them. I felt very pained. I thought, "How can I rescue my fellow practitioners?" But I drew a blank. A police officer was standing opposite of me, just a meter away, and he couldn't see me even in such bright moonlight--I knew that Master was protecting me.
The police tried to force the practitioners to tell them where "the person in white clothes" was (they were told that one of us dressed in white). My fellow practitioners knew that I had escaped by the skin of my teeth and were very happy. I stood there in stillness, sending righteous thoughts the whole time. Then I suddenly heard somebody say, "It is very dangerous here. Run away fast!" But I had gone there together with my fellow practitioners, and I thought that we should go back together. I wanted to ask practitioners at home to send righteous thoughts to rescue the four practitioners being held by the police. I entered a restroom and called them on my cell phone, but there was no signal for my cell phone. I left and connected with my family and other practitioners at home. I told them, "We had an incident. I escaped but the other four practitioners need to be rescued."
On my way back, I thought that it was all my fault and that I had made fellow practitioners suffer. I had taken them out, and so I was responsible, therefore I must suffer, too. (Actually, if I did suffer for them, wouldn't I be acknowledging the persecution of the old forces? I was not clear about this principle of the Fa.) I lost my way as I walked back. I then saw a one-meter-wide ditch in front of me. I tried to jump over it but fell in. Usually I could easily jump over such a ditch. There was a little water on top but full of slime at the bottom. I couldn't stand up. I thought then, "Even if I drown, I must protect the materials. I still need to save people." Suddenly there was a kind of power sending me upward. When I got out of the ditch, I found that the materials were not wet at all. I thought, "Thank you, Master!" However, with all the mud on my shoes, I was sliding instead of walking. I took off my shoes and walked along the dirt road in my bare feet. There were some bricks and glass on the ground. I didn't notice them and stepped on them, gashing my foot. I didn't pay much attention to it and went on walking toward home. I walked for more than two hours and came to another village. I distributed materials until all of them were gone.
On my way back, I saw three more police wagons driving around searching for me. I arrived home in my bare feet at 2:00 a.m. and found my husband sitting on the floor sending forth righteous thoughts. I couldn't fall sleep and sent out righteous thoughts until quarter past seven in the morning. I had just gotten up, when the young woman practitioner that had been with us the night before came to my home. She told me what had happened to her. She said that when she ran into a farmer's vegetable field, the police caught her. At first, they wanted to put her into the wagon. An old practitioner told her not to move. She thought herself, "As solid as diamond." Three policemen couldn't lift her and they called another two policemen to come and help. But they still couldn't carry her away. At last they had no other choice but to let the young practitioner go home. They took the three older practitioners to the police station.
In the morning when I went to work, I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts. I was focused on the thought that the other practitioners would return home before noon. At noon, when I got off work and went home, the three practitioners really had come back. They told me that when they arrived at the police station, the chief (who strangely became insane the next day) and the other officers beat them. The practitioners stretched out their arms to show me, and I saw that their arms were all black and blue. They told me that then they kept on sending righteous thoughts and clarifying the truth to the police. The chief saw that nothing was to be gained and released them at 10 the next morning.
Threatened with Being Sent to a Brainwashing Center Twice
Right after the 2003 New Year, I went to a village secretary's home with two town cadres to arrange some work. I saw that the deputy head of the village was painting over phrases such as "Falun Dafa Is Good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance Is Good" on a telegraph pole with a bucket of oil paint. Some practitioner had risked his life to write those messages on New Year's eve. I said quickly, "Don't paint those over! They are for saving people! You will receive retribution for doing that."
Then I clarified the truth to all of them and told them the truth about the staged "Tiananmen Self-immolation incident." However, when I got home, I didn't send righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil manipulating them. When one of the cadres I spoke to went home, he met the head of the 610 Office and told him about my truth clarification that day.
The head of the village's 610 Office told my company leader that I had clarified the truth in the village and ordered my company head to deal with me thoroughly. My company head went at once to my husband's company and threatened to stop his salary. She also told my husband that she would come to our home.
That night my company leader came to my home. She tried to persuade me to give up my cultivation by using the stick and the carrot method and also asked me to hand over all my Dafa books and relative materials. She asked me which one I chose: keeping my job or practicing Falun Gong. I said, "I will not give up my cultivation and Falun Gong is being persecuted. There are only these few copies of truth clarification materials. Please take them home to read." Then I handed her the materials. She stood up and said as she walked out, "You even want to persuade me! I will give you one week to reconsider. You cannot go to work until you promise not to practice Falun Gong." I talked with my husband and we sat down to send forth righteous thoughts to deny all the old forces' persecution.
The next morning I went to work as usual. I went to the leader's office and said, "I don't need a week to consider. I want to answer you today. The words 'Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance' are in my every cell and it is impossible for me to give my practice up." She turned quite green and said, "Let's go to the head of 610 Office and tell him clearly. You will be sent to brainwashing center." I said, "It is not wrong to be a good person." I thought, "I am in no fear. I walk on the right path and nobody can harm me as Master will protect me."
We went to the government office and they were having a meeting. I started to send righteous thoughts to clear out all the evil factors that persecute Dafa and Dafa disciples in the government officials and eliminate all of the evil factors immediately. I said to Master from bottom of my heart, "Master! Your disciple will only walk the road you arranged. Whether I do well or not on my path of cultivation, I will walk it to the end." Half an hour later, my company leader asked me to go to 610 Office with her. As soon as she saw the head of 610 Office, she pointed to me and said, "Send her to brainwashing center to punish her." I smiled and said, "I have done nothing wrong. Why do you want to brainwash me?" The head of 610 Office said, "Somebody reported that you told the truth about Falun Gong to town cadres and they also said that you clarified the truth at another village in 2002 and broadcast Falun Gong music at a broadcasting studio. People from several villages heard it. You are a state cadre and now Falun Gong is forbidden by the government. You should be a little bit cautious. This time it is OK, but I hope next time I will not hear such kinds of things about you. Go back to work. I will feel sorry for you if you lose your job." Thus I returned to my company to continue my truth clarification efforts under Master's compassionate care and protection.
In October 2003, officials from 610 Office came to our town to find young practitioners to send them to be brainwashed. They went to a couple's family and told them to be ready to go to a brainwashing center. They also claimed that I, too, would be taken there. The couple asked another practitioner to tell me quickly and said that they would stay away from home to avoid the persecution. They suggested that I also do this.
When my husband told me about it, he was scared and worried. I was surprised to hear this, but I quickly calmed down and said, "Don't be afraid. Master said, 'Our Law Wheel protects you if you're a true cultivator. My roots are all deeply planted in the universe, and if someone could affect you, he could affect me, and to put it directly, he'd be able to affect the universe.' (Zhuan Falun, 2003 translation version) I refuse to go anywhere. We should send righteous thoughts tonight and make them fail to have the brainwashing session."
The next morning other practitioner tried to persuade me to stay away from trouble. I said firmly, "Thanks for your concern. I will not live away from home and that is not the way I will deal with this. I will face it confidently. I am not afraid of anything now and I will see who will win. As for the older practitioners going out of their way to avoid trouble, I think that it is better not to. There are still two days for them to have the brainwashing session. The main thing we should do now is to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts frequently, making them unable to do it."
After the practitioner returned, he shared my thoughts with the older practitioners and talked to them. The couple decided to live away from home. All the other practitioners calmed down. In the end, they didn't hold the brainwashing session after all.
That's it. I went through the tribulation twice about the brainwashing sessions. It is true, "Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master." (Zhuan Falun) Without Master's compassionate care and protection, we might stumble at every step! How vast and mighty Master's benevolence is!