The Journey Home
Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a Dafa disciple from Inner Mongolia in mainland China. This is the first time for me to share my experience at the Internet Fa Conference for Mainland China Dafa Disciples. My sharing is as follows.
I. Loss after gain
In the spring of 1998, I started to practice Dafa. At that time, I only knew that the Fa was great from my superficial understanding. I bought almost all of Master's teachings available from the market, and eagerly read one after another, happily knowing that it was I had been searching for all my life.
However, due to my strong attachment to human love, longing for a romantic and happy secular life, and wanting to be well cared for and loved by my husband, the old forces took advantage of my attachment and predestined relationships, and began to give me a test only three or four months after I started to practice. Since I didn't have a deep understanding of the Fa at that time, I followed the path arranged by the old forces. I divorced my husband and ended a marriage that seemed so full of unsolvable conflicts. At the same time, I started a painful relationship with a "caring and romantic" man who promised to cultivate together with me. The results were not surprising: not only did he not start to practice, I also gave up cultivation. During that time, I felt a Falun spinning in my lower abdomen constantly, which lasted for two or three months. Even now, whenever I think about it, my heart aches so much that I want to cry. I realize that Master did not want to give up a disciple like me who did not want to move on, and was anxiously waiting for me to come back! Unfortunately, I fell so deep and far in that terrible situation...
II. Coming back to the journey to home
During the New Year of 2003, I came back to my home town from City A to visit my parents and child. My mother, who is a practitioner, finally persuaded me to read Master's Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference. As I was reading, I could feel strongly the calling from within the deepest portion of my life. I realized that if I didn't come back, I would lose this great opportunity forever! I had a strong thought from the bottom of my heart: I will come back to cultivation again from now on! Then I threw away all the medicines that I took with me, and said farewell to them. Since I was away from home for long periods of time, I had many diseases such as cholecystitus, heart problems, insomnia, ovarian, cysts etc. That night, I didn't use alcohol to help myself fall asleep. For a long time, I had to drink a glass of liquor to help myself fall asleep. While I lay on the bed, thinking that I was coming back to the righteous path and starting to practice again, I felt so peaceful and harmonious like a bird who finally found a big tree to hide from the wind and rain after flying so hard and being tired. It was the first time after several years that I had a great and sound sleep. Several days later, when I was doing the sitting meditation, I saw a shining Falun spinning down from the far and distant universe. My benevolent Master forgave me, a lost child. My heart was filled with boundless appreciation, peacefulness and happiness, knowing that my life had finally found where it belonged.
III. Helping Master with Fa Rectification
1. Away from my hometown
I went back to City A with the precious Zhuan Falun. As arranged by Master, I came to know a practitioner in City A, and she brought me Minghui Weekly and new lectures from Master. In no time, through cultivation, all my illness went away before I realized it. I sincerely appreciated Master's benevolence, and felt that I had lost so much of my precious time, so I started to read large amounts of Master's teachings, including Zhuan Falun and teachings in different Fa Conferences, as well as Minghui Weekly. Every day, I spent most of my spare time on Fa study, and also did the exercises every day. During that time, I read at least three lectures from Zhuan Falun, sometimes five or six lectures, a day. Very quickly, through Fa study and reading Minghui Weekly, I realized that my cultivation is tightly linked with validation of the Fa. My true mission is to help Master with Fa rectification and saving sentient beings! I therefore bought a large amount of envelopes, paper, copy paper and postage stamps, and started to write truth-clarification letters. I could write 20 to 30 letters a day, and mailed them out or distributed them after I finished. At that time, one of my friends was familiar with people in the police system. By chatting with him, I came to know many of the names and positions of people in the police bureau, police branches and local police offices, I remembered all of them by heart, wrote letters, and sent them batches of truth-clarification letters and letters to persuade them to be good people. Their job is special, but a life is a life, and they are also beings who should be saved.
I also tried to clarify the truth to friends around me then. There was no Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party at that time, and we were not urging people to quit the CCP. I only talked about how great Dafa is, how irrational the CCP's persecution toward Dafa is and the grand phenomenon of Dafa spreading around the whole world. A very kind couple that I knew volunteered to help me distribute truth clarification letters and materials after they heard the truth. They were not satisfied with just distributing the materials to neighbors, and they also knocked on the doors and talked with people inside, to help them further understand the truth. Later on, after I set up a materials center, they helped me with fixing up machines and buying supplies, which was a great help to me. I was so touched by the awakening of these sentient beings, and I was happy that these lives had been saved.
Several months later, I closed my business in City A, a business that was profitable but not so righteous, and temporarily settled in a rented apartment building. As arranged by Master, I came to know two other practitioners in City A. After communications, I knew that there was not enough truth-clarification materials locally. I therefore bought two copy machines with my savings, and started to print large amounts of truth-clarifying fliers. I didn't think about buying a computer at that time, and only took all kinds of materials from other practitioners. I copied some directly, and copied others after rearranging them through cutting and pasting. Later on, since other materials centers were too busy, I also took the task of printing Master's new teachings and Minghui Weekly. At that time, after Fa Study, exercise and sending forth the righteous thoughts were done, I was fully devoted to printing and folding truth-clarification materials. When I had spare time, I would carry two or three hundred copies of truth clarification materials, or at least one or two hundred copies, and distributed them in residential areas. I would go out this way two or three times a week. Since I studied the Fa well, my heart was filled with the Fa, and I had no fear in my heart at all. My whole mind was focused on saving sentient beings. It dawned on me while I was carrying the heavy package that I was carrying all the lives of sentient beings! I would recite Master's teachings like Lunyu, "Assisting the Fa" and "Benevolent Might" (from Hong Yin), and "A Righteous God" and "Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions" (from Hong Yin Vol. II). I sent forth righteous thoughts while distributing materials, and asked for Master's help to clear all the evil in places that I visited so that everyone with predestined relationship could obtain the truth-clarification materials and be saved. I hoped that they would pass on the materials to tens, and then hundreds of people so that more people could be saved. With the help of Master, every time I could visit a dozen or twenty units of buildings five or six stories high. Although my shirt was wet from sweat, instead of feeling sore or tired, I felt so rich and happy in my heart.
Later on, working together with fellow practitioners in City A, I made many truth-clarifying banners. Practitioner A is an auntie in her 50s. Despite her age, she never fell behind when we went out hanging the banners and distributing the truth-clarifying materials. She was more brave than I was at climbing up high or jumping over big ditches; she was very skillful and walked very fast. We worked together to hang the banners over many main streets, intersections and busy market areas, and shocked and eliminated the evil. We also made some smaller posters, and put them up in many streets, big and small. My mother later also came to City A. We diligently cultivated together, worked together, and distributed the materials to hundreds and thousands of families.
However, the persecution in my hometown was still quite severe at that time, and there were only a few material centers and a shortage of materials. In order to save the sentient beings in our hometown, my mother and I made all kinds of materials and sent them over to help fellow practitioners there. City A is not too far away from my hometown. It takes about seven or eight hours by train, and we could make a round trip in one day. I therefore had the thought of going back ourselves to save sentient beings there. After discussing this plan with fellow practitioners, we had all of their righteous support. Then, practitioner A, my mother and I took the train to our hometown together. We constantly sent forth righteous thoughts on our way. It was about seven or eight o'clock in the evening when we arrived. We started to distribute materials, put up posters and hang up banners. We took the train back to City A the next morning. It was said that the evil in our hometown was greatly shocked. They even surrounded quite a large residential area with police, but got nothing in the end. Later, practitioner B, my mother and I went back one more time, and we put up posters everywhere in the city.
2. Moving back to my hometown
In the fall of 2004, I left fellow practitioners in City A and moved back to my hometown. I realized that a lack of enough material centers and materials was still the case. Sometimes, when Master's new lectures and Minghui Weekly arrived, more than ten people read it in turns, and they had to pass it on to someone else immediately after reading it once, so it was not possible to read it again. After seeing this situation, I decided to buy a copy machine to meet the needs of local practitioners and to save more sentient beings.
However, where should I put the machine? While I was temporally living with my parents, my mother was reported to the police when she was clarifying the truth and was illegally sent to a labor camp. My father was very weak and scared after my mother had been sent to a labor camp twice. He worried that I would be caught like my mother if I went out to distribute materials. Under this circumstance, I could not let my father know what I was doing. "Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master" (Zhuan Falun). At that time, our great and benevolent Master saw my wish as well as my difficulties, and arranged my acquaintance with a local practitioner. After we met and talked, we immediately decided to buy a copy machine and put it in her home.
At that time, I didn't have much savings since I had not had a job for a while. In order to save some money for the material center, the practitioner and I found a job together to pay our daily expenses. Later on, since the machine was too small and slow, I bought another bigger copy machine to save time and improve efficiency. Therefore I worked during the day, studied the Fa at noon time, and made materials after work in the evenings together with this practitioner. We then distributed them when we had time. Soon after that, the Nine Commentaries were born, and Fa rectification had reached another stage. We closely followed Master's Fa rectification progress and started to print and distribute the Nine Commentaries. When Master's "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York" was published, in order to make sure all practitioners could read it as quickly as possible, we worked all night and printed enough so that every practitioner could have one at hand. An elderly auntie could not believe it when she received the lecture and asked, "Is this one really for me?" The fellow practitioner said firmly, "It is true!"The elderly auntie said excitedly, "Great! Great!"I felt so sad and happy at the same time when I heard about it.
3. A flower blooms in my home
Around Christmastime in 2006, my mother came back home after being persecuted for over a year. At that time, many material centers were born everywhere, and several practitioners also set up home-based material centers. The process was more formal, materials were downloaded and printed directly, looked better and could basically satisfy the needs of local practitioners for truth-clarification materials and the Minghui Weekly. At the same time, we had another good weapon for truth-clarification, the DVDs. My father recognized the evil nature of the CCP, felt the grand phenomenon of Dafa spreading all over the world and reduced his helpless fear of the evil party after seeing the DVDs with rich and direct content. From that small window, he saw hope. My father has gradually changed, from against cultivation strongly at the beginning, to starting to practice himself in the end. The night that my father decided to practice, I dreamed that I saw Master smiling at me from his photo.
Seeing the change in my father and relatives around me, I recognized the strong effects of DVDs in saving sentient beings. However, the number of DVDs was too small, and many families took turns to watch one set of DVDs, so it was very slow to circulate the information. Before NTDTV was popular in our area, the effect of DVDs was irreplaceable by other truth clarification materials. I was thinking: How nice it would be if I could have a DVD burner! How many sentient beings would we be able to save! Master helped me again just for having this pure thought. Two or three months later, my father bought a computer for my son for his studies. I knew that it was a Fa implement that Master gave to me. The computer was set up, but the DVD burner was not set up. A fellow practitioner bought one for me. I discussed with my father and wanted to set it up, but my father was severely against it. He was frightened by the evil party, and was afraid that the evil party would use some excuse to search our home and arrest us. After several fruitless discussions, I was frustrated and was ready to give up.
That night, I turned off the light and sat quietly on my bed. I looked at the wall and wept sadly: How nice it would be if I had my own home! Then I would be able to do whatever I want and nobody could stop me. I thought from another angle: "Isn't this home my own environment of cultivation? My father is against it, which is because the evil is using his fear to keep me from setting up the material center. It is the evil who is frightened! Isn't it a proof that I should not give up, and instead should set it up as soon as possible? Fa rectification is moving forward so fast, so I can't waste the time that is worth more than gold and waste time in saving sentient beings. How can I be fooled by the fake superficial appearance? What I am doing is the most righteous thing, no one should stop me!" Then I sat cross-legged and sent forth strong righteous thoughts: Master is the one who makes decisions; no one else's words count. I will only follow the path arranged by Master. I am determined to set up the materials center! Through sending forth righteous thoughts constantly, and righteous support from fellow practitioners, and the righteous support from my son, who is currently a strong supporter but not a practitioner yet, the beautiful flower blooms in full in my home. My father also changed his attitude from barely agreeing to me making limited copies, to making suggestions for copying more when he saw good materials. Now he even helps to make copies. During this period, there has always been Master's benevolent support. It seems as if we are doing it, but it is actually through our wish that Master helps us unconditionally to create opportunities, and in the end to make us more mature and better. If it were not for the grand benevolence of Master and the guidance of Dafa, how much could we do?
Now we have a copier that can be attached to nine daughter machines. Fellow practitioners worked together; some provided money and some provided labor. All kinds of DVDs were produced from my home and went to tens of thousands of homes. This has harmonized what Master wants on the path of saving sentient beings. The DVDs have exposed the persecution, clarified the truth, and eliminated the evil. Under Master's benevolent protection and Dafa's guidance, we are saving all those who can be saved, and walking steadily on our journey to our true selves.
To conclude, let us encourage each other with Master's poem Tathagata (HongYin II),
He comes with Truth that gives him free reign
And travels the four seas with a free and easy spirit
The Fa's principles spread throughout the world
His Fa Boat sets sail, loaded full with sentient beings
Thank you, our great Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!