My Path of Return
Part 1: Practicing Falun Dafa On Path of Return
1. Practicing Falun Dafa
I am from northeastern China. I was fortunate to become a Falun Dafa practitioner in early 1997.
On January 2, my two daughters and I visited an uncle and his wife. They were listening to Teacher's lecture in Jinan, "Qigong is Prehistoric Culture." I got interested in the practice and wanted to learn it as well. My uncle's two elder brothers, veteran practitioners, had brought the tapes to them. They returned to Heilongjiang after teaching my uncle the exercises. I read Zhuan Falun and immediately felt that it was a precious book. For a long time, tears came to my eyes when I read it. I felt that I had found out about Falun Dafa too late, and admired veteran practitioners.
We did not have a practice site. So, we learned the exercises from the book. From the beginning, I could sit in lotus position for 30 minutes. I did not know how to do the hand gestures, so I sat with hands joined together (jie yin).I practiced like that for six months. Afterwards, my brother's friends also wanted to learn, so his friends contacted the local Falun Dafa assistant. One day in September 1997, the assistant brought us Falun Dafa books and exercise tapes. We formed a practice site of over ten people. We felt that we were the happiest people in the world.
2. Improving Xinxing
From reading Zhuan Falun, I realized the true meaning of life. I put studying the Fa and practicing the exercises above all I did. I got up early in the morning to memorize Essentials for Further Advancement. Then, I went to group practice and brought my tape recorder along before daybreak. I lived by the principles of Falun Dafa, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. When someone cheated or oppressed me, I thought about Teacher's Fa. I became a steadfast practitioner and faced losses and other tribulations openly.
In early 1999, my husband took us to the city where he worked. He operated a manufacturing plant. His partner was his mistress for over ten years. We discussed divorce twice, but I could not leave my two daughters and felt it was worth to exchange my pain for my daughters' happiness. If I did not practice, I would not have dared visit him. I thought that I would be hurt and suffer tribulations when visiting there. After I arrived there, my xinxing was tested. I felt out of place and often saw things that I did not want to see. Then I thought about taking this woman to court. But, after studying the Fa, I calmed down and reminded myself that I was a practitioner, different from them, and was not governed by sentiment. I often told her about Falun Dafa and how precious it was. I cooked good meals for them, explained the relationship between men and women, as seen by gods, the standard of being human, and so on. I went through a very bitter and slow process of abandoning sentimentality. Once my husband beat me until I was bleeding. My entire body and bed was bloody. But, the bleeding stopped when I touched the wound. It took three to four years to let go of sentimentality. It was a very painful process.
Part 2: Be Steadfast Despite Tribulations
1. Validate Falun Dafa in Beijing and Walk on Tiananmen Square
After July 20, 1999, I went to Beijing to petition for justice for Falun Dafa many times. The first time was on January 3, 2000. Two practitioners and I were put into police car at Tiananmen, taken to the Tiananmen Police Station and were picked up by staff from our area office in Beijing. There were practitioners from throughout China and we were glad to meet and exchange views. Some had already been there four or five times. People came and left continuously, about several hundred people within two to three hours.
When I arrived at the Liaison Office in Beijing, I explained the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution to the staff there. I felt sacrosanct, great and wonderful and held no fear. The leaders asked if I had any relatives in Beijing. I told them that I could not implicate others and that my actions were my personal choice. I was not moved. After a while, they said I could leave, but I stayed and taught one of them the Falun Gong the exercises. He gave me a Zhuan Falun, and sent me to the bus stop the following morning.
The second trip to Beijing was in December 2000. I first visited the town where I first come across Falun Dafa and shared with practitioners that we should petition for justice for Falun Dafa in Beijing. Ten practitioners came with me to Beijing. I unfurled a banner with the words "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" above my head and shouted "Falun Dafa is good." In less than two minutes, I was arrested and taken with other practitioners to the police station. There were over two hundred practitioners, who refused to tell their names. Some people unfurled banners again, and we together shouted, "Falun Dafa is good!" "Restore Justice for our Teacher!" and recited Teacher's articles.
All seventy-six practitioners were put into a bus, and taken to the Pinggu County Detention Center, located in the in eastern rural area of Beijing. The police there were very vicious. I refused to have my picture taken and be fingerprinted. They punched me, threw me to the ground and beat me.
There were less then twenty people in my prison cells. There were two to three criminals and all others were practitioners. We practiced the exercises together in the morning, and shared why we did not give our names. I thought I did not work and that the worst was to be taken to a forced labor camp. So I took out my ID. People from my area office in Beijing picked me up and recorded everything. A police officer beat me and handcuffed me in the corridor.
After 2 a.m., I was taken to the township government were I resided. I was handcuffed to a heating pipe, and three to four people beat me. They focused on beating my head and chest. But, I did not feel any pain and my mind was empty.
One night, my husband's relative hired a car to take me home. He worked in the county government. After he found out that I was detained, he called to have me released. When I arrived at his home, I felt that the internal injuries I sustained from the beatings were severe. I could not turn my body when I lied down, but recovered in about ten days because I studied the Fa and did the exercises.
Teacher saw my firm heart and protected me, so I could return safely from Beijing twice. At that time, I only had one thought, let go of life and death, validate Dafa and protect Dafa with my life. I deeply love my two daughters, but when I thought about our great Teacher being slandered, that the universal law was slandered, tens of thousands of practitioners persecuted and detained, and innocent people poisoned, I could no longer remain at home.
Before I left home, I told my 7-year-old younger daughter: "Mother is going to petition for justice for Falun Dafa. I will return when Dafa's name is restored." I told her to regard herself as Dafa practitioner, so mother would not worry before leaving.
2. Unconquerable Will Grows Ever Firmer
In April 2002, the CCP's evil official Luo Gan visited many places throughout the northeast. The persecution turned for the worse. Over one hundred practitioners were arrested one night. Over three hundreds practitioners were taken to a forced labor camp within three days. Police ransacked homes and arrested people daily. I refused to open the door, so they tried to kick in the door, called on the telephone and rang the door-bell at the same time. Everyone became fearful and the children dared not come home after school, as police waited outside the door. When I heard the knock on door, I became so nervous that my voice changed. I sent forth righteous thoughts twenty times a day, strengthened my Fa study and looked inwards. I gradually abandoned any attachment to fear, pursuit of comfort and care for my daughters, and my righteous thoughts became stronger.
On a day in July 2003, a practitioner brought her granddaughter to my home along with a set of Teacher's lecture on cassette. Three policemen came. My first thought was not let them touch anything in the room. This thought was very firm and strong. I politely greeted them and explained the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution. One police officer smiled at my husband, and wanted to come in. I stopped him, "Do you have a search order?" Another of them pulled out a paper. I did not acknowledge it, so they soon left.
3. Hold the Knife
My husband opposed my practicing Falun Gong before the persecution started, as he worried I would suffer. He became even more opposed after the persecution began, and angry when he heard about Dafa. Additionally, the CCP has slandered Falun Gong all these years and pressured him. I tried, but he would not listen to the truth. After 10 p.m. on a day in early July 2003, he came home after work. He asked me to call my elder sister, trying to ask me to stop the practice. I refused. The evil in other dimensions controlled him. He shouted loudly in the living room and became hysterical. He held a newly purchased kitchen knife in his hand and wanted to attack me with it. His eyes were red! Our two children cried out of fear and tried to stop him and protected me. I held no thoughts and no fear. I just sat there motionless and quietly. Finally, he put the knife down. He probably feared hurting the kids.
Soon after, he came down with heart trouble. I rushed to buy medicine, but the hospital across from my home did not have the medicine he needed. I then went home to get my bike, so I could pick up medicine at his office. I rode over a six to seven inch stone very fast, but I did not fall. I asked Teacher, "Teacher, I am here to validate the Fa, not to damage the Fa." I feared that if he died at my place, it would discredit Dafa. When I returned home, his hands were icy cold. I still put the medicine into his mouth. He recovered after a while. In a short time, a miracle happened. Merciful Teacher saved two lives.
Beginning with the second half of 2002, practitioners who maintained material sites were arrested. So I took over this responsibility. I kept over 90 copies of Teacher's articles, and bags of materials at my home. Sometimes over ten practitioners came during a single day to pick up materials or exchange views. I felt great pressure and feared that police or my husband would find out. Alas, no one else could take on this task. I had to be responsible for practitioners. At the end of 2003, an elderly practitioner came to pick up some materials. My husband saw it, and brutally beat me in front of the practitioner. He even broke a metal broom. My elder daughter tried to stop him, but was also beaten. I did not fight back, but was angry. He had a new mistress. The children and I knew it. But, he often came home to make trouble. I was also moved sometimes, and did not do well.
My elder daughter urged me to leave. I worried about my two daughters, especially since the younger one was only 12 years old. My elder daughter was always afraid for me. She finally said, "Don't you think I could have a better life with you gone?" This time I was moved and I understood the severity of the problem. She has endured too much, and it exceeded the limit she could bear. Which kid is willing to leave his/her mother? I agreed. She helped me buy a ticket and bag and pack my things. She was only 16 years old. On January 5, 2004, I quietly left the city. I dared not say goodbye to my daughters, walked out of home with tears covering my face and heavy steps, not knowing what kind of path was awaiting me.
Part 3: Maturing during Tribulations
1. Continuing on My Path
After over ten hours, I arrived in the town where I first learned about Dafa. Not many practitioners could be found. Some had returned to their hometown, some were jailed and some dared not come out. I found several practitioners, and heard that they had not seen the Minghui Weekly for several months, as the practitioner who distributed the materials had been arrested. So, my nephew and I wrote flyers and made copies with carbon paper. We then put them on each house gate after we had produced 200 copies. We got in touch with practitioners at other material production sites and slowly found more practitioners, but not many. We encouraged each other to strive forward diligently.
2. Do Dafa Work and Cultivate
We set up a material production site. In early 2002, we produced a load of the Nine Commentaries. We cooperated very well. A young practitioner and I made the materials for 50 to 60 practitioners each week. I was busy, but also happy, Teacher gave me this opportunity to validate Dafa. I had to pay attention to Fa study and improve myself. Sometimes my attachment to showing off was noticeable. Look how capable I am! When the young practitioner went to work, I worked on my own. Once due to equipment failure, the materials were not ready on time. After I studied the Fa in the morning, I told myself: "Don't get hungry today. There is no time to eat." I worked the entire day, until 7 p.m. and made 130 copies of the Nine Commentaries. I was not hungry. It was winter and had no heater. I was in a cold room, but I did not feel cold.
In 2006, the coordinator who worked cooperatively with me and another practitioner was arrested at home, I was shocked and felt pressure pressing down on me. I quickly began on the rescue, made flyers exposing the evil and shared with practitioners to deny the persecution. I also sent forth righteous thoughts nearby the place he was detained. I was busy and tired. But, a coordinator chastised me: "I hope you don't run around everywhere." I was not moved, as I knew what I was doing. Sometimes she arranged sudden tests and told other practitioners not to go with me. I was not moved and thought that it was caused by my karma. I thank Teacher for giving me the chance of upgrading my xinxing. We must tolerate practitioners' shortcomings, then we can cooperate well. No matter the circumstance, we must think of the big picture and not be moved during the Fa-rectification. We need to let go and harmonize the entire body.
When two practitioners were released, the coordinator was relieved and apologized to me. It was as if nothing had happened between us. This is the manifestation of Dafa's mercy and might virtue.
3. Adjust to the Changing Cosmic Climate
When the material production site had operated for over two years, we were faced with interference. It was not possible to keep it going. The lease was also up for renewal. This happened during a school holiday and my younger daughter had come to celebrate the new year with me.
After January 2, I went to see the coordinator. We discussed the reasons for our recent interferences. Minghui suggested having material production sites everywhere as early as in 2002. Let practitioners have a chance to walk on their own Fa-rectification path. I believed that we should create such opportunities for practitioners. Some practitioners always waited, relied on and asked for materials. So, big material production sites became an obstacle to a certain degree. Now, we should change our strategy and teach whoever could take on this task. It took six months to set up three to four family production sites. The coordinator and I were even more tired than before and rushed from site to site. But, we felt gratified, as we understood that the reason we came to the human world was to assist Teacher in the Fa-rectification and save sentient beings.
Part 4: Rainbows Come After the Rain
Before the Beijing Olympics, practitioners in our area were interfered with and arrested. Some were taken to a forced labor camp, and some were detained in detention centers, and have not been released yet. Our material production sites were also affected. My heart was unsteady for the first time and I became afraid. I lived at a practitioner's home for over ten days. Then, when the practitioner urged me to hide, I realized that I had not reached Dafa's standard. Then when an even bigger interference came, it was a wake-up call for me. I needed to do well again. I needed to grasp this opportunity and stabilize my heart, study the Fa diligently, look within, find my attachments, and close any gaps in my cultivation.
When I studied the "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference," I realized that I am a Dafa practitioner who will not accept the arrangements made by the old forces and its elements. I only wanted to walk on the path arranged by Teacher. All of sudden I felt that my environment became open and bright and I saw the clear sky. Teacher has given us everything. All we need is to want it and believe it. The evil is no threat to me. It can't reach me. A sentence of the Fa appears to be simple, but it actually contains deeper secrets! I gained a deeper understanding when reading in Zhuan Falun about the lady who was fine after being dragged by a car for some distance. That was a matter of believing. Teacher treats all sentient beings equally, as long as I have faith in Teacher and Dafa, there is no test that I could not pass.
I experienced the wonderful feeling of being immersed in the Fa. I was immersed in the mercy of Dafa. We must deny the persecution. If we don't allow it to happen, it can't happen. What I'm trying to say is that Teacher decides everything. After we enlighten to the Fa principle, we need to truly practice. We can only deny the persecution with righteous thoughts and righteous acts. It did not matter if the situation appeared to be unsafe, I never delayed making materials and deliver them to practitioners. This helped stabilize the situation. So, practitioners let's stand firm and not be interfered with. I feel I am getting closer to Teacher's Fa, but am not able to express my knowledge in words.
Please allow me to quote Teacher's words for mutual encouragement:
"Dafa disciples, you are golden light in the mortal world, the hope of the world's people, Fa-disciples who help Master, and future Fa-Kings. Keep diligent, Awakened Ones that walk the earth: Everything of today will be the glory of the future." ("Congratulatory Message")
Thank you Teacher, thank you fellow practitioners!